I only have only one vice...

and that's to be screwed on top of my dirty workbench.

So I watched a zombie movie recently...

The survivors boarded themselves in an old furniture store. They had a nice camp setup with beds, lounges, workbenches, and thrived for several years. At least until the virus mutated and jumped to inanimate objects. Then the tables turned...

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.

One evening, after their honeymoon, he was working on his motorcycle in the garage, just for fun.
His new wife was standing there at the workbench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke. "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

20 reasons chocolate is better than sex

1) You can GET chocolate.

2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.

3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

6...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Little Johnny

Little Johnny asked his Mom what 2 words mean that kids at school were using ........ Pussy and Bitch.

Mom inhaled sharply, but then said: "Oh, that's easy. A pussy is a cat, like our little Chico . A bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy ."

"Thanks, Mom."

He then found h...

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