Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america?

Because that would be illeagle

That juggler must be sick.

He keeps throwing up!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fellow stuck in a coronavirus outbreak, prayed to God for help.

Soon the head of the WHO came by. He said “Try social distancing! It can save you!”

The fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the head of the WHO went on.

Then Dr. Fauci came by and told the man “Wear a mask! It can save you!”

The ...

A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room....

and said to himself every so often, "Boy, I hope I'm sick!"

After about the fifth or sixth time, the receptionist couldn't stand it any longer, and asked, "Why in the world would you want to be sick, Mr. Adams?"

The man replied, "I'd hate to be well and feel this bad."

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Are You Sick?

A man takes a prostitute home for a few hours of fun. He immediately pulls up her dress and starts licking her pussy.

The woman grabs his hair and tells him to lick harder. The man complies but gets a piece of carrot in his mouth from her pussy. He wants to stop but the prostitute is begging...

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An average person has sex 300 times a year.

The next 10 days are gonna be sick.

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We are getting there

A man walks into the bathroom and takes his position at the urinal. He is joined by a 6ft tall black man.

Going about his business he accidentally looks over and is amazed at the size of his neighbours johnson.

Both men go to wash their hands and the first man leans over and says. "Tel...

The Brilliant Scientist

A brilliant scientist, by the name of Dr. Elliot Kupferberg, assembled yet another fruitful invention that would slap anyone who dared to lie within its presence. But one last piece remained. He knew, as a scientist, that he needed to test his potentially dangerous contraption on humans. So he thoug...

A guy comes running into a bar and shouts

"Barman! Quick! A dozen shots of whiskey!"

The barman pours all 12 shots and the guy slams all of them down in less than a minute.

The barman says "Woah slow down fella. You're gonna be sick drinking that much so fast!"

The guy says "Well, when you have what I have you gotta dri...

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web
The president was tweeting as the market went red
The government was closed because of a wall
In hopes that Mexico, would pay for it all

The people were nestled, their head in their hands
While visi...

A man comes home from the pub....

...to his wife. He’s very drunk and she’s very annoyed. She says to him “if you go out again tomorrow and get drunk again I’m leaving you...”

Next day, the man goes to the pub and says to his friends “if I get drunk tonight and go home the wife will leave me so I can’t get drunk”.

Nee...

Did you know you can get nitroglycerine pills to cure sickness?

Yep, just pop one and you'll never be sick again.

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BB Soup

An Italian mother is making a soup for dinner one night for her 3 kids. While she is cooking, she accidentally knocks over a bottle of BBs and it spills into the soup. She freaks out and gets out as many as she can before dinner but can't get it all.

Later that night, after dinner and after ...

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Two hungry hobos

Two hobos were walking along the railroad tracks bemoaning how long it had been since either one had eaten. They come across a racoon that had been half squished by a train, and one exclaims "Our luck has changed, we can split it!"

The second hobo demurred, "No thanks, I'm going to wait for a...

I reckon...

This "Yourself" guy must be sick of everyone imitating him.

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