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Acne Jokes

How can someone be a racist and have acne?

Like bro, worry about your own skin

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

Never arrest a guy with acne

They’re good at breaking out

Why don’t boys who have wealthy parents worry about acne?

Because it’s a pore man’s problem

How do you know if you have bad acne?

You fall asleep in the library, and when you wake up, a blind man is reading your face

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my son with acne that he had to leave the house immediately.

"Why?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"Your mother just phoned to say that we could have sex if the house is spotless."

What do acne and priests have in common?

Both usually come on children faces.

What do pigs put on their skin to get rid of acne?

Oinkment

I've been locked in a room to cure my acne.

I haven't broken out yet.

Last night I dated a blind woman

At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.

I don't want acne,

But bacteria in cyst

Why did Hippocrates have such bad acne?

Because he showered in greece

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a genie. Delighted, the genie says, "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately shouts out, "I want a billion dollars." *POOF*, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact $1,000,000,003.50.

The second man thinks for a bit, then says, "I want to be the richest man alive." *POOF*, he's holding papers showing his net wor...

Braille

I once told a girl that her acne was so bad that it reminded me of Braille. I could tell she wasn't impressed, it was written all over her face.

I want to stop randomly talking about acne

But there's no pimple way to do it

What did the bacteria say when the acne started developing the second time?

I'm bac.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Tony was sitting on a park bench

munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th candy bar, a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.

Little Tony replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Where's our son?" asked my wife, as soon as she returned back from holiday.

"Which one?" I asked.

She said, "The one with acne. Where is he?"

I said, "Oh...I, er..."

"You what?"

"I kicked him out."

She yelled, "What the fuck? He's thirteen, why the hell would you kick him out?"

"You said you wanted the house to be spotless when you ...

Drank from the Fountain of Youth...

Broke out in acne.

Me: You wanna know how I got these scars??

Batman: no, not really...

Me: *slamming my fist on the table* ACNE !

Why was the dermatologist fired?

He was making too many rash decisions.

I can’t believe he was acneing so stupid.

If acne on your back is "back-ne"...

Then what is acne on your knee called?

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A man was involved in a terrible car accident.

Because of the accident he lost one of his eyes. The doctor explained to him that he could get a fake eye to replace the real one. So the man agrees and chooses the least expensive. A wooden eye.  

Some months pass and the man finally works up the courage to go out in public. His friends talk...

Just to make myself clear...

I use acne treatment.

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Martha had terrible acne and had very little luck getting dates.

She was so glad when Bill started taking an interest in her. She didn’t mind at all that Bill had a fake wooden eye that looked off in odd directions when he spoke. She was just happy to have a man finally take an interest in her despite her terrible acne problem.

For his part, Bill was ve...

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The Ferrari and the Moped

A man saves up his entire life to buy a ferrari. He goes to the dealership and chooses a red one. As he pulls out of the parking lot he comes to a red light. As he is waiting for the light to change he sees a fat kid pull up next to him on a moped. The kid grins at him showing his puffy cheeks and s...

Top10 signs your son is too old for breast feeding

10. He can open your blouse by himself; with one hand.

9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.

8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.

7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.

6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
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What do depressed teenagers go through everyday?

Pain and Acne

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