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Ebola Jokes

Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

Have you heard my joke about the Ebola outbreak yet?

Eh... Nevermind. You probably won't get it.

Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.

Is it a virus or a free U2 album?

What does your racist uncle have in common with the Ebola virus?

They both make Thanksgiving dinner uncomfortable for everyone.

Ebola, covid, and monkeypox walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “What is this, some kinda sick joke?”

What would you get if the director of Pulp Fiction were to contract Ebola?

A quarantinable Quentin Tarantino.

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium.

Because they can't catch anything there.

I once joked about Ebola. Everyone started laughing.

It was contagious.

"Ebola" is trending on Twitter...

...does that mean it's gone viral?

Ebola Plague

The CDC has confirmed that the recent Ebola outbreak is now the second disease in history to be known as the "black death".

Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road?

Trick question. There are no roads in Africa.

The Corona virus meets the Ebola virus. They start dating. One thing leads to another and the Corona virus bangs the Ebola virus.

Nine months later the Corolla virus is born.

Rihanna was going to tweet about the Ebola crisis.

Unfortunately Chris Brown beat her.

Corona isn't Trump's fault. Ebola wasn't Obama's. SARS wasn't Bush's...

...and only a handful of cases of herpes was Clinton's.

This is my first joke. Be nice!

A doctor says grimly to a patient, "You are a very sick man. You've been diagnosed with covid, monkey pox, swine flu, Ebola, and bubonic plague all at the same time."

"Is there anything that can be done to help me?" asks the patient.

"Amazingly, there is," says the doctor. "First, we'...

A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He's negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.


The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone...

Ebola, Sars and Covid walk into a bar...

Suddenly all the hotties from Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca, Janssen, Sinovac and Novavax surround Covid.

Ebola asks Sars, "Why is Covid getting all the attention?"

Sars replies, "This is what happens when you go viral."

I have a joke about Ebola

You probably won't get it

Why was the Ebola virus joke not as good as the Corona Virus Joke?

Because less people got it.

It's probably too soon for Ebola jokes on here...

...but when the time comes, I bet they're gonna be killer.

There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:

The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

Ebola has mutated!

reports are coming in that the Ebola virus has mutated and become exponentially worse, in light of this mutation the virus will be renamed the Hyperbola Virus

First Ebola and now Measles...

Is there ANYTHING hipsters won't bring back!?

When he was arrested, the mafioso was intent on not ratting anyone out. But he had ebola, so...

...he spilled his guts to the cops.

Save me, Doc

A man just back from a long trip through the tropics starts feeling very unwell. He goes to see his doctor, but passes out in the office and is rushed to hospital for tests.

The man wakes up alone in a private room, feeling awful, wondering what is happening to him. Soon, a phone by his bed r...

Ebola Fun Fact

Before the internet was invented Ebola was just known as Bola

wakka wakka

I'm really sick of the "ebola cereal" joke...

I'm pretty sure that's the last thing you'll find in Africa.

What does coronavirus have for breakfast?

Ebola cereal

You guys hear about the guy that went bowling in NY after he came back from West Africa?

They say ebola perfect game.

Mathematicians have found a new, advanced strand of Ebola...

called Hyper-bola


I'm sorry :(

A man wakes up and finds himself alone in a hospital room.

He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering his situation, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it.

A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: "I have really bad news. You're very sick. After your collapse yesterday, we ordered several tests, and got...

Why was 6 afraid of 7??

Because 7 had Ebola.

I saw two diseases drinking some soda

It was Hep C and Ebola sharing a Pepsi cola

What did the cop name his guns?

Ebola and Malaria because they kill blacks

Jimmy was not feeling well, so he went to the hospital to get tested ...

Two days later, he received a call to get to the hospital as fast as he could and NOT to have contact with anyone.

Upon arrival, he was ushered to a room where everyone was in HAZMAT suits.

The lead doctor said, "Sir.....I am sorry to inform you that your tests came back, and you are p...

Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant?

Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'

What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online?

Ebola.

I quit my job and poured years into it

Thanks to this recent Ebola scare, I can't ever release my online bowling game...

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