The bartender says, “What is this, some kinda sick joke?”
Ebola causes headaches, feelings of nausea and is very difficult to get rid of.
Is it a virus or a free U2 album?
Topical Jokes for 10/9
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it.
Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?
The Cowboys Stadium.
Because they can't catch anything there.
Save me, Doc
A man just back from a long trip through the tropics starts feeling very unwell. He goes to see his doctor, but passes out in the office and is rushed to hospital for tests.
The man wakes up alone in a private room, feeling awful, wondering what is happening to him. Soon, a phone by his bed r...
This is my first joke. Be nice!
A doctor says grimly to a patient, "You are a very sick man. You've been diagnosed with covid, monkey pox, swine flu, Ebola, and bubonic plague all at the same time."
"Is there anything that can be done to help me?" asks the patient.
"Amazingly, there is," says the doctor. "First, we'...
...and only a handful of cases of herpes was Clinton's.
Have you heard my joke about the Ebola outbreak yet?
Eh... Nevermind. You probably won't get it.
The Corona virus meets the Ebola virus. They start dating. One thing leads to another and the Corona virus bangs the Ebola virus.
Nine months later the Corolla virus is born.
A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He's negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone...
A man wakes up and finds himself alone in a hospital room.
He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering his situation, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it.
A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: "I have really bad news. You're very sick. After your collapse yesterday, we ordered several tests, and got...
Why was the Ebola virus joke not as good as the Corona Virus Joke?
Because less people got it.
What does your racist uncle have in common with the Ebola virus?
They both make Thanksgiving dinner uncomfortable for everyone.
Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road?
Trick question. There are no roads in Africa.
Ebola, Sars and Covid walk into a bar...
Suddenly all the hotties from Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca, Janssen, Sinovac and Novavax surround Covid.
Ebola asks Sars, "Why is Covid getting all the attention?"
Sars replies, "This is what happens when you go viral."
I once joked about Ebola. Everyone started laughing.
It was contagious.
"Ebola" is trending on Twitter...
...does that mean it's gone viral?
It's probably too soon for Ebola jokes on here...
...but when the time comes, I bet they're gonna be killer.
Rihanna was going to tweet about the Ebola crisis.
Unfortunately Chris Brown beat her.
There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:
The directions say the medication must be taken with food.
What does coronavirus have for breakfast?
I saw two diseases drinking some soda
It was Hep C and Ebola sharing a Pepsi cola
I have a joke about Ebola
You probably won't get it
Why was 6 afraid of 7??
Because 7 had Ebola.
What would you get if the director of Pulp Fiction were to contract Ebola?
A quarantinable Quentin Tarantino.
The CDC has confirmed that the recent Ebola outbreak is now the second disease in history to be known as the "black death".
When he was arrested, the mafioso was intent on not ratting anyone out. But he had ebola, so...
...he spilled his guts to the cops.
You guys hear about the guy that went bowling in NY after he came back from West Africa?
They say ebola perfect game.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Topical Jokes for April
(didn't post the last batch, so here's all of the recent ones)
4/28 Los Angeles police are looking for a vandal that spraypainted a police horse. The horse didn’t get a good look at the suspect because it was dark, and because the horse has no idea that it’s a cop.
Mathematicians have found a new, advanced strand of Ebola...
I'm sorry :(
Knock knock Who's there? Ebola. Ebola who? Ebowl of cereal
Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant?
Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'
What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online?
First Ebola and now Measles...
Is there ANYTHING hipsters won't bring back!?
Did yall see the Ebola donation thing that popped up on Face Book the other day?
I clicked not now, because I thought it was some kind of virus.
Ebola has mutated!
reports are coming in that the Ebola virus has mutated and become exponentially worse, in light of this mutation the virus will be renamed the Hyperbola Virus
Ebola Fun Fact
Before the internet was invented Ebola was just known as Bola