...and only a handful of cases of herpes was Clinton's.
A man wakes up and finds himself alone in a hospital room.
He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering his situation, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it.
A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man: "I have really bad news. You're very sick. After your collapse yesterday, we ordered several tests, and got...
A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.
He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He's negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone...
The Corona virus meets the Ebola virus. They start dating. One thing leads to another and the Corona virus bangs the Ebola virus.
Nine months later the Corolla virus is born.
Why was the Ebola virus joke not as good as the Corona Virus Joke?
Because less people got it.
I once joked about Ebola. Everyone started laughing.
It was contagious.
It's probably too soon for Ebola jokes on here...
...but when the time comes, I bet they're gonna be killer.
Ebola, Sars and Covid walk into a bar...
Suddenly all the hotties from Pfizer, Moderna, AstraZeneca, Janssen, Sinovac and Novavax surround Covid.
Ebola asks Sars, "Why is Covid getting all the attention?"
Sars replies, "This is what happens when you go viral."
The CDC has confirmed that the recent Ebola outbreak is now the second disease in history to be known as the "black death".
When he was arrested, the mafioso was intent on not ratting anyone out. But he had ebola, so...
...he spilled his guts to the cops.
There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:
The directions say the medication must be taken with food.
What would you get if the director of Pulp Fiction were to contract Ebola?
A quarantinable Quentin Tarantino.
First Ebola and now Measles...
Is there ANYTHING hipsters won't bring back!?
Did yall see the Ebola donation thing that popped up on Face Book the other day?
I clicked not now, because I thought it was some kind of virus.
Save me, Doc
A man just back from a long trip through the tropics starts feeling very unwell. He goes to see his doctor, but passes out in the office and is rushed to hospital for tests.
The man wakes up alone in a private room, feeling awful, wondering what is happening to him. Soon, a phone by his bed r...
Knock knock Who's there? Ebola. Ebola who? Ebowl of cereal
Topical Jokes for 10/9
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it.
Mathematicians have found a new, advanced strand of Ebola...
I'm sorry :(
Ebola has mutated!
reports are coming in that the Ebola virus has mutated and become exponentially worse, in light of this mutation the virus will be renamed the Hyperbola Virus
What did they call Ebola before the Internet?
I saw two diseases drinking some soda
It was Hep C and Ebola sharing a Pepsi cola
You guys hear about the guy that went bowling in NY after he came back from West Africa?
They say ebola perfect game.
Why did Jim die from eating at an Italian restaurant?
Because he asked for 'ebola spaghetti'
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Topical Jokes for April
(didn't post the last batch, so here's all of the recent ones)
4/28 Los Angeles police are looking for a vandal that spraypainted a police horse. The horse didn’t get a good look at the suspect because it was dark, and because the horse has no idea that it’s a cop.
Jimmy was not feeling well, so he went to the hospital to get tested ...
Two days later, he received a call to get to the hospital as fast as he could and NOT to have contact with anyone.
Upon arrival, he was ushered to a room where everyone was in HAZMAT suits.
The lead doctor said, "Sir.....I am sorry to inform you that your tests came back, and you are p...
Ebola Fun Fact
Before the internet was invented Ebola was just known as Bola
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
What’s small, long and will put something in a girl’s body she doesn’t want?
A mosquito carrying ebola.
That’s what my ex-girlfriend called my dick, anyway.
A religious woman works in an epidemiology lab...
One day, she sets up two agar plates, and swabs the first with smallpox. Remembering how dangerous her line of work is, she touches the crucifix around her neck and says a quick prayer.
She gets a new pair of gloves, then swabs some Ebola onto the other plate, but not before again tapping her...
Why was 6 afraid of 7??
Because 7 had Ebola.
What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online?
My humor is so black...
...On a airport i got checked for Ebola 3 times
I quit my job and poured years into it
Thanks to this recent Ebola scare, I can't ever release my online bowling game...