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Altitudes Jokes

caution: high altitudes under certain conditions can cause a bloody nose

Like on Mt. Shasta I heard a guy saying, "I just wanted to show people that it's possible to do things like hiking and Crossfit on a vegan diet, and besides I needed something to do after I retired at 30 on my Bitcoin investments" so I punched him in the nose.

[REQUEST]: Looking for Altitude Competition Flying Joke

Looking for the old joke about several pilots bragging about their flight altitudes (?), and then the last one one-upping them all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was on an airplane..

So we take off and pilot says his spiel about cruising altitudes and things. He forgets to turn his mic off and turns to
his co-pilot and says, "Right now I could use a blow-job and a cup of coffee."

The flight attendant runs to cockpit to tell him his mic is on and I yell, " Don't forget...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chemistry Puns

What do you do with a dying chemist? If you can't helium, you might as well barium. That joke was quite the knee-slapper, wasn't it. I certainly slapped my neon that one. It was just so-dium funny. Why do chemists like high altitudes? The views arsenic. If you're not laughing yet, don't worry. I'm o...

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