An aviation enthusiast enters a bar.

He asks, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender laughs and says, "Sorry, we only have plain chips."

Paranormal happenings in the Navy

Just found out that the USS Enterprise (CVN-65, sorry to Trekkies) was haunted. The apparition of a human figure, from the waist down and appearing to have been messily severed from the rest of the body, would walk the ship’s passageways.

While nobody is sure of the ghost’s identity or the ex...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend took me to an airshow as he is a geek in aviation history and knew every aircraft from their engine noise as they flew by.

I,on the other hand, have no knowledge of airplanes.
As the show went on, he grew visibly frustrated because he noticed that I was on my phone the whole time shitposting on Reddit.

He said it was a waste of time me being there but somehow I apparently redeemed my self and put a big smile ...

Hobbit: “What aviation school should we attend?”

Gandalf: “Fly U, fools.”

Years ago, I invented an aviation fuel made of water,

but it never took off.

I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler.

He lost my case.

Aviation joke.... It's better to break ground and head into the wind.

Than to break wind and head into the ground.

What are three most useless things in aviation?

The runway behind you.

The altitude above you.

The fuel back at the fbo still in the fuel truck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the Japanese firefighter who changed careers to aviation in 1940?

He went from hero to Zero.

Rockets? Maybe. But the Chinese haven't contributed to aviation.

After all, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane?

He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale.

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

Safety critical software

I am a software engineer and I work on safety critical software (I design autonomous vehicles). I travel around the world, speaking at various software engineering conferences. I was recently invited to speak at the premier aviation conference in the world on the subject of writing safety critical s...

My Daughter…

My daughter once said to me

“Dad, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.”

She was...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke about black aviation.

So my cousin is in aviation school. He decided to learn how to fly so he can propose to his fiance. Anyway almost all of the other students in his class are black people. Nothing wrong with that, it was just weird because it's in an area with very few african americans. So it's weird to see that man...

What's the worst school to drop out of?

Aviation school.

The Admiral with only one ear..

Years ago, a young Navy Pilot was injured while ejecting from his A-4 Skyhawk due to engine failure during a cat shot from the carrier, but due to the heroics of rescue helicopter crew and the ship's hospital staff, the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear.
 
Since he wasn't physicall...

A Chinese couple emegrated to America...

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ...

What do you call...

What do you call a forum page about Swedish military aviation?

A saabreddit

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