UPJOKE
flightaircraftairlinerair travelairflypilotsailplaneaeroplanekitejetairplanehot air balloongliderstall

Aviation Jokes

An aviation enthusiast enters a bar.

He asks, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender laughs and says, "Sorry, we only have plain chips."

A friend of mine is an aviation technician

He's Welsh, called Dai and repairs planes.
One day, he had to do a repair on a broken toilet seat.
It will forever be known as, "Loo seat in the sky which Dai mends"

According to all the laws of aviation, it should be impossible for a bee to fly.

This is because no bee has filed a permit with the FAA.

Hobbit: “What aviation school should we attend?”

Gandalf: “Fly U, fools.”

I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler.

He lost my case.

Years ago, I invented an aviation fuel made of water,

but it never took off.

What are three most useless things in aviation?

The runway behind you.

The altitude above you.

The fuel back at the fbo still in the fuel truck.

Worst air disaster in Irish aviation history has been reported.

Single seater airplane crashed, so far 985 bodies recovered, emergency services continue to dig to find casualties.

Spokesman has said unsure why pilot crash landed in a cemetery.

Rockets? Maybe. But the Chinese haven't contributed to aviation.

After all, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

Aviation joke.... It's better to break ground and head into the wind.

Than to break wind and head into the ground.

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the Japanese firefighter who changed careers to aviation in 1940?

He went from hero to Zero.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Admiral

An Admiral, whom lost one of his ears in an accident and was very
sensitive about his appearance, was interviewing a Navy Master Chiefs,
an Aviation Master Chief and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal
staff...


The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke about black aviation.

So my cousin is in aviation school. He decided to learn how to fly so he can propose to his fiance. Anyway almost all of the other students in his class are black people. Nothing wrong with that, it was just weird because it's in an area with very few african americans. So it's weird to see that man...

Did you hear the one about the American military aviation enthusiast who bought himself a French fighter plane?

He was arrested for possession of an Assault Rafale.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man volunteered for the military during WW2.

He had such a high aptitude
for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.
On his fi...

One 23rd of December, Santa's doorbell rings.

He opens the door and there is a little man there in a blue uniform with a peaked cap. "Evening!" he says, "...or whatever time it is up here. Hopkins, Civil Aviation Authority. It's time for your checkride".

Santa begs his pardon politely and Hopkins digs through the satchel he is carrying a...

My Daughter…

My daughter once said to me

“Dad, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.”

She was...

What's the worst school to drop out of?

Aviation school.

Paranormal happenings in the Navy

Just found out that the USS Enterprise (CVN-65, sorry to Trekkies) was haunted. The apparition of a human figure, from the waist down and appearing to have been messily severed from the rest of the body, would walk the ship’s passageways.

While nobody is sure of the ghost’s identity or the ex...

What do you call...

What do you call a forum page about Swedish military aviation?

A saabreddit

A Chinese couple emegrated to America...

When Mr. & Mrs. Wong had twin boys they wanted to name them after two great Americans and since Mr. Wong had always been fascinated with aviation he decided to name them Oreville and Wilbur Wright. When told them that they couldn't give them a surname other than their own, they took the case to ...

Safety critical software

I am a software engineer and I work on safety critical software (I design autonomous vehicles). I travel around the world, speaking at various software engineering conferences. I was recently invited to speak at the premier aviation conference in the world on the subject of writing safety critical s...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.