In a hotel a engineer, a physicist and a mathematician...

... are sleeping when a fire breaks out.

The engineer wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the next fire extinguisher and starts spraying.... After what seems hours of heroic fighting the fire is gone and he goes to sleep again.

But the fire breaks out again. The physicist wakes up, notic...

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What is relative humidity ?

When the sweat from your balls runs down your sisters leg.

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What's the definition of "relative humidity"?

That's when the sweat off your balls runs down the crack of your sister-in-law's ass.



(Too rude?)

Why doesn't the Weather Man ever carry valuables on them once the humidity level gets above 70%?

It gets a bit muggy

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What do you call perspiration from sex in Alabama?

Relative humidity.

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Two Torontonians die in a car accident.

Two Torontonians die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.
The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet his t...

What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?

Humidity

A Miami man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Miami.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then go...

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The tenant calls furiously his landlord...

Puzzled by the call, the landlord goes to the tenant's house and knocks the door. As the door opens, he glimpses next to the roof a small fish moving its tail gracefully.

**Tenant**: Oh here you are, how dare to ask such a rent for this crappy house??

**Landlord**: I'm not following yo...

What does 100% humidity mean?

Even dry farts feel like wet farts.

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DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've fi...

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Do you know what "relative humidity" is?

It's that little drop of sweat that forms on the tip of your nose when you're fucking your cousin.

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What's the definition of relative humidity?

The sweat that drops off your forehead while you're fucking your sister.



What's the definition of endless love?

Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

Did you hear about the ecoterrorist who tried to start another ice age to combat climate change?

They charged him with crimes against humidity.

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[nsfw] Totally legit, but you can use a joke if you want to.

**Scene:** I was living in an apartment complex where all the bedroom windows faced into a small courtyard of sorts, walled on three sides with 3 stories of bedroom windows. None of the apartments in this complex have air-conditioning. It's close to midnight, December in Sydney AUS, it's a hot humid...

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Microorganisms
Humidity
Light
Heat

A missionary is treading the dangerous jungle...

He's been walking for weeks and has suffered mosquitoes, mud slides, leeches, dysentery and of course the unbearable heat and humidity. He's exhausted but in a few days he'll reach his destination.

Suddenly, a huge tiger leaps up from the bushes right in front of him. She's clearly hungry and...

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell. As punishment for his many sins, the Devil shoved him into a room and proceeded to crank up the heat and humidity.

But the man just smiled and said, “Oh, this is just like Chicago in the Spring.”

So, the Devil cranked up the heat...

I hate people who use the wrong words in a sentence and don't correct themselves

They sometimes should have the humidity to admit it.

A farmer dies and goes to hell

While down there the Devil notices that the farmer is not suffering like the rest. He checks the gauges and sees that it's 90 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the farmer and asks why he's so happy.

The farmer says, "I like it here. The temperature is just like plowing my fie...

An engineer in Hell

An engineer dies and goes up to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter greets him. "Come in, come in." says Peter, "We can always use another engineer." But the engineer is not so sure he wants to go to Heaven. He is a builder and a doer and is afraid he will be bored. So he asks if he can have a look at ...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watso...

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LAWS FOR ENGINEERS

Engineering is a science that runs on the laws of physics. We have all studied these laws in our formal education. There are other laws that are equally powerful, however. These are found through experience in the classroom of applied technology. Here is a summary of the laws of physics for your ent...

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Hutterite Jokes

How did the Hutterite man find his daughter in the woods?

Quite satisfying


What do you call the sweat between two hutterites having sex?

relative humidity

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