This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a chicken walk into a small restaurant

A man and a chicken walk into a small restaurant, they sit down, and the waitress takes their order, the man says "I'll have a number 5 with a large coffee", and the chicken says "I will have that as well". When they finished their meal, the man walks up to the counter to pay, and he reaches into hi...

What did the pilot say while flying in clouds minutes before crashing into a mountain?

Psh, I don't need these instruments, I fly as I CFIT.

(CFIT: controlled flight into terrain - usually pronounced 'see fit')

What do you call an all-terrain chicken?

A duck.

A Doctor is visiting a patient at an asylum

Doctor: What is this?

Mad man: This is a book i wrote. It has a total of 500 pages.

Doctor: You wrote 500 pages! Wow, what did you write?

Mad man: On the first page i wrote 'One king rode on a horse and went towards the jungle'.

And on the last page i wrote 'The king reac...

There was a group of hikers who climbed a steep mountain.

The terrain is treacherous. Every step could be their last. Until it proved itself true. One of them fell down. But fortunately, he went down into a small ledge beside the mountain.

"John! Are you okay? Hold on to the rope!"

"My arms are broken. I can't carry myself."

"Try to ti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hammer time

John the ranch hand is told to team up with Annie the young college girl helping out over the summer. They have been meanding fences in the foothills for a few days so they've got a donkey with them with a tool pack and supplies strapped on its back since the terrain is too rough to get a vehicle ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During his physical examination, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level.

He described a typical day this way:


"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.
I avoided standing on a snake....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“This is good!”

Once there was a king. His best friend was a commoner, a man who was the son of one of the royal housekeepers. They were of an age, and had grown up playing together in the palace gardens.

As they grew older, the king found himself more and more impressed with his friend’s ability to always ...

The meaning of life.

A man weary of what seems to be his pointless struggles hears that high in the Himalayas there can be found a old wise guru who knows the meaning of life.
Withdrawing all his money he sets out on the months long arduous and treacherous journey. After suffering extreme cold and coming close to dy...

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician enter a competition

The goal is to surround 10 sheeps with the minimum amount of wood to be used as fence.

The engineer goes first. Armed with the knowledge that the best perimeter to area is a circle, gathers the sheep together and build a circular fence around them.

The crowd goes crazy! That is unbeata...

One American Soldier

My apologies if this has been told here already (I haven't found it yet). A military buddy of mine told me this when he got back home:



One day during the Gulf War, an Iraqi general and his army were patrolling through semi-mountainous terrain. Suddenly, over one of the hills they hear...

A war veteran is lost in the rural deserts of Afghanistan.

A war veteran is lost in the rural deserts of Afghanistan, eager for just a single drink of water. As he's roaming through the country's rugged terrain, he spots in the distance what appears to be a vendor running a small stand. Figuring that there is no one else in the vicinity, he decides to go to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Golf holes.

First joke for me, I first heard it in French and translated it, please be kind.

Joe practices some golf but he is a little wasted and he isn't keeping track of his score. After a few holes, he forgets which one he's actually at so after putting, he asks a lady to please indicate to him what ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The best salesman in the world

The boy went into the mall to get a job. He told the management that he was the world's best salesman. They gave him a job as a seller, but expected profits from day one.

On Saturday evening the manager came down and asked how many customers he had served today. The boy said he had helped one...

Why did the rebels lose at the hoth battle?

The terrain was inhothpitable.

A message to the moon

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits....

Why aren't there metro systems in the countryside?

There are already enough terrains.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Disarray

A young man climbs to the summit of a mountain, in search of the great wiseman. Despite the snowy, unforgiving terrain and the biting chill if the wind, he makes it to the top. He sees an old Asian man, long flowing white beard and hair, deep in meditation and walks up to him. "Oh wise one! Please t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.