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Alt Jokes

Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager.

In America, it's called Alt Right

In Germany, it's called "This is Why Grandpa Lives in Argentina"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The alt-right can't be nazis

Their grammar is terrible!

I don't really understand this Alt Left or Alt Right thing.

It seems as though they're trying to Shift Ctrl until they Del the other.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting.

He traveled
up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on
his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.


The black bear said, “That was a very bad mistake. That bear is my cousin, I’m going to give you two choices. Either I mau...

What does the Alt-Right drink?

White whine.

Why is cocaine the alt-right's favorite drug?

White powder!

I have three kids named Ctrl, Alt, and Del.

When they mess up, I hit them all at once.

I love Alt + F4

It offers me closure

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between the Alt-Right and Hitler?

Hitler had a girlfriend

What does a gamer say when they alt-tab by mistake?

wwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Why did the Proud Boy check on his sad friend?

To make sure his friend was feeling... alt-right.

Feel free to downvote me to reddit hell...

I think my dentist is an alt righter

He thinks the best teeth are 'white and straight'.

My friend told me he was an Alt-Rightist.

I told him I was an Alt-F4ist.

We have the alt-right, and the new right

When do we get the third right?

What do you call someone who uses an alt to comment on their posts?

Desperate.

I don’t know what the fuss is about Alt-Right.

Personally, I always use Alt-Left, Ctrl-Left and Shift-Left

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt, and Delete.

That way when they fuck up, I can hit them all at once.

A little girl in charlottesville cries after the violence she's seen, I try to comfort her: "There there...

it's alt right"

Richard Spencer is the Kim Kardashian of the alt-right...

I have no idea why he's famous and I only know his name because some dude pounded him on video.

The term, "Alt-Left" has been around for decades! Wow, it really takes me back.

If you spend a lot of time on Reddit you may like Ctrl-W as well.

I've been wanting to start an alt-rock group

But I just can't seem to find my muse

I don't see why people are getting so heated about alt-left and right

I mean, both keys do the exact same thing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What keyboard shortcut turns your computer into a piece of shit?

*Alt + Right*

There's a new keyboard shortcut in GTA V which if you press it will cause your character to kill minorities.

Alt-right

Now that Matthew McConaughey might be running for governor of Texas people are wondering what his politics are...

I think it’s obvious he’s a member of the Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right

Matthew McConaughey considering a run for Texas Governor.

He's planning to run on an alt-right, alt-right, alt-right platform.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four CEOs of beer companies are having a meeting and they decide to get a drink.

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.

The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?

He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer then n...

Using high powered gamma rays, creatures on Mars have established total mind control over Donald. And Hillary. And the liberal press. And the Alt-right.

Hey, all I know is what I read on Facebook.

(But it explains everything!)

Matthew McConaughey was spotted during the Capital Hill protests

When asked to comment what he saw he simply said,

“Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is this OC? I thought of it in the shower. Help with making it better would be appreciated.

A farmer is eating dinner with his lovely daughter. The local merchants son, known for being honest and trustworthy, walks in and says "sir I'd like to lay with your daughter." The farmer in a rage asks "Why the hell would I let you do that?" To which the merchants son reply's "I was just diagnos...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Grammar Nazis no longer exist

Their called the Alt-Write now

If Matthew McConaughey runs for governor in Texas, what will his first order of business be?

Getting rid of the alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In an upcoming film, Matthew McConaughey is going to play a Neo-Nazi

He’s gonna be alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

I Wish I Was a Computer

So I could Alt + F4 my life

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Please dont call us grammar nazis

we prefer the term "alt-write"

Turns out Matthew McCoughnehey is a racist...

... I guess we should've known he was part of the alt-right alt-right alt-right.

Trumps not Wrong

He's just Alternative Right

What kind of pictures does Shaun Connery take?

Shelfies






alt. What kind of pictures do fish take?


Shellfies





alt. What do hermit crabs call their utility bills?


Shell Fees






alt. Why did my wife leave me?


I cheated on her


alt. ...

What is the keyboard shortcut to becoming an idiot who throws temper tantrums like a child?

Alt-right.

What keyboard shortcut can be used to stop recent senseless violence from continuing?

CTRL-ALT-Right

How can you get rid of the Proud Boys?

Just type alt-right delete.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

‘I was at that neo-nazi march today’ “was it any good?”

‘It was alt-right’

Did you hear about the guy who got his face ripped off by a leopard?

He's alt-right now.

Trump, Cruz and Graham is sitting in a restaurant and the waiter comes over and asks...

Is everything alt right?

There's a winner of a recent dance competition who just got exposed as a huge racist.

She had alt the right moves.

Twitter have just created a keyboard shortcut that mutes all Neo-Conservative posts.

Ctrl + Alt + Right

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do PC Master Race people identify as politically?

The Alt-Tab.

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