UPJOKE
earthscienceeconomicscartographygeologysociologytopographymathematicsanthropologydemographicsbotanycultureanimalsoilgeographer

A joke about world-geography is kind of like healthcare ...

Lots of Americans just won't get it.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

Student: I'll never be good at geography.

Geography teacher: Not with that latitude!

Geology rocks but geography is where it's at...

What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other?


My fault, sorry!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny's in South African Geography Class.

The teacher says "Johnny why didn't you do your homework?"

Johnny says "cos there was fokol for breakfast."

The Teacher says "That's not cool don't say fokol in my class. Quiz time:"

"Where is the Namibian border?"

Thabo says "To the North of The Northern Cape."

S...

Little Johnny is sitting in Geography class

All of a sudden, he raises his hand

"Yes?" says the teacher

"Sorry teacher, i was wondering, is the Earth really flat?" asks Johnny

The teacher looks at him, visibly anoyed and says "No, it's not. Do you have any more stupid questions?"

"Yes..." says Johnny "How did The ...

Why are americans bad at geography?

Because the ones that skipped class survived

A geography teacher assigned each of his students a country to find on a map

He gave them the task of finding their assigned country on the globe, and explaining how it can be identified

'I can find Italy on the globe, Sir' says James 'It's easy because it looks like a boot'

'Well done James' says the teacher

'I can find Pakistan on the globe' says Emily...

The geography of a woman as she ages: (from a friend)

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa .
Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe.
Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain.
Very hot, re...

“Hey man, did your Geography teacher tell you what the newest US state is?”

“ I don’t know, but Alaska.”

You wanna hear a geography joke?

Bob : "Hey Tom if you're Hungary I'll Serbia a Turkey Sandwich"

Tom : "Oman that was a bad joke"

Bob : "Yemen I know"

Tom : "You Syriasly need to stop with these jokes..."

Bob : "But Iraq at making jokes :("

geography test

What is the capital of Austria?

\- Berlin

What is the capital of France?

\- Berlin

What is the capital of Poland?

\- Berlin

All wrong. Adolf, you're gonna fail the test

\- We shall see

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A British spy goes undercover in America and tries to infiltrate the political ranks.

To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam.


Examiner: When did the USA gain independence?
Spy: July 4, 1776


\- Good. How many continents are there?
\- Easy peasy, seven.
\- Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in?
\- Technically, Turkey...

Justin Timberlake is bad at geography

He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.

My son got an F in his geography exam today.

I sent him to his room but he ended up in the kitchen

I dated a teacher once

At first there was chemistry between us.

When we broke up it was history between us.

Now that she's moved away there is geography between us.

Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.

Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.

Capital of Germany? Berlin

Capital of France? Berlin

Capital of Russia? Berlin

Capital of Poland? Berlin

Capital of USA? Tokyo

Capital of China? Tokyo

Hotel? Trivago

That's my boy.

A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"

"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In geography class the teacher asked little Johnny what the highest point of Japan was

Little Johnny said, “I don’t know that but I can tell you the lowest point!”

The teacher says, “ok, what is it?”

Little Johnny then said, “it’s in Nagasaki!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy storms into a bank, pulls out his gun, points it at a teller and hollers, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” Trembling, the teller stammers, “D...d...don’t y...y...you m...m...mean h...h...history?”

The robber screams, “Don’t change the subject!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Geography of a woman

Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open.Between the ages of 18-21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful. Between the ages of 21-30, a woman is l...

Why did God create war?

To teach Americans Geography

A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y'see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico's to the south, *and Iran, Iran's so far away*.

Geography class

-Whats the capital of Germany?

-Berlin teacher

-Whats the capital of France?

-Berlin again teacher

-Whats the capital of Poland?

-Still Berlin teacher

-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!

-We'll see about that

I need to brush up on my geography.

The box my new TV came in said "Built In Antenna." I have no idea where Antenna is.

Two blondes are in geography class together...

One asks the other
"Which is closer, London or the moon"
The other replies
"The moon, obviously, can you see London?"

My wife has only one problem: she can't tell the difference between Geology and Geography

Either way, she can still rock my world.

I heard the best geography joke today...

I would tell you but you had to be there.

Geography at its finest



{} Why are Europeans so elite at drifting

{}{}The Eurasian plate moves about one quarter to one half of an inch each year

My mate was boasting about being amazing at geography.

So I decided to test him, I asked him where Uganda was. His response was:

“in the house with my grandmother.

The first day of school, I signed up for Math, English, Science and Geography..

The rest, as they say, is History

Sometimes I really do regret taking history and geography

Every time I’d enter the class room I would exclaim ‘oh the humanities!’

If I got 1$ for every geography test I failed

I could finally understand that I live in Europe, where these are worthless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At geography class

Little Jon is at school reading his geography book in class. The teacher tries to surprise him:

- Where's England, Jon?

He proudly answers:

- Page 83.

A Taiwanese joke translated and adapted to suit global culture.

I failed my geography test because of one single question.

The question was: "Where's the capital of Ukraine?"

I responded with "Kyiv" when the answer was "Moscow".

I argued that the teacher doesn't know anything about geography while the teacher said I know nothing about commu...

Prof to the student: Did you study geography?

Student: Yes sir.
Prof: so, tell me, where is Kentucky?
Student: At page 35 prof.

I dumped my girlfriend and started reading a geography book.

At least I know where I stand now.

I'm not very good at geography

But i know the name of one city in France, which is Nice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to...

...tell millenials to 'get a fucking job'."

-John Adams, iirc

My Grandfather went down in history…

He also allegedly got a handjob in geography.

Two German explorers

Two German explorers were making their way east across New York when they came to a wide river.

Karl: How vill vee get across dee large body of vater?

The other explorer sees a large, steel object north of them.

Heinrich: Look der es und structure dat vee can use to cross
<...

Trump doesn’t know geography...

Instead of building a wall on the Mexico border, he built one in Washington DC

What is the purpose of war?

"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain

Today I Learned



Monaco schools study the map of the city in geography lessons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Au Pair from Finland has been finding school very difficult of late.

So much anticipation and excitement around my school as it's the first Dux Scholar we've ever had.

Anticipation runs high as we'd all like to see his academic capabilities in our 'not-so-great' school.



Every subject imaginable; Physics, Geography, English, Chemistry etc, we are...

my wife tried to tell me that I'm in denial...

So I told her to go back to school and learn geography because I'm standing nowhere near a river in Egypt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mercurial rocker hands out backstage passes...

A mercurial rocker of a popular band was known to give out many backstage passes. Now this happens all the time in the music industry; however this rocker always handed out the same pass to many women, and never changed it. The pass was for Tulsa OK, and he'd give out the large TULSA backstage pas...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIFU...well it was actually yesterday, so YIFU by singing a Sam Cooke song for my GF on Valentine's Day:

Me:
Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the French I took

But I do know that I love you
And I know that if you love me, too
What a wonderful world this would be

Don't know much about geograph...

The son of a godfather comes back home at the end of school year with his report.

The report states:

History A

Math A+

Science A+

Literature A

Geography B+



The father grabs a gun and shot him in the head.

The mother shocked and in tears asks: "why did you shoot him?!"

And the Boss: "he knew too much"

Trump talking about buying Greenland is having Americans confront their biggest adversary...

...geography.

As I passed by my son's bedroom, I heard him praying

"God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Hamburg the capital of Germany."

"Son," I said "Why do you want Hamburg to be the capital of Germany?"

He looked at me and replied "Because that's what I wrote in my geography test!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

60-year-old joke which still makes me laugh

Teacher wants to know why Tommy is late for school. "Please Miss, I've had no fucking breakfast," says Tommy.

Shocked at such language, she makes him go and stand in the corner until he has seen the error of his ways and continues her geography lesson. "Today we are going to talk about Scot...

Two things I learned from online dating

geography and disappointment

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm absolutely fuming..

My son got sent home from school yesterday. He has been suspended for running around the girls toilets waving his willy around. Idiotic yes but it seems he had done it for a bet.

Suspension seemed to be a bit harsh, so I rang the headmaster to explain that it was just a bit of tomfoolery gone...

When in Africa, where do you put the D?

Djibouti

*sorry I'm just trying not to fall asleep in geography class*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week I fucked my sister in law

This week I fucked my brother in geography

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

European

Its geography day in Mr. Andrew's first grade class. Each student has to stand up and answer questions in front of their peers. Mr. Andrews, who has a very thick southern accent, addresses the first student.

"Beth, would you a-stand up and answer this a-question: what's the a-capital of a-Ru...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.