UPJOKE
declareheraldreporttellharbingerinformpublicizeforetellpromulgatedenounceannouncementadvertisedenoteannunciatesay

Announce Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On day six of the Creation, God announced to his archangel underlings, "Today we're creating a place called Canada.

"Today we're creating a place called Canada. Pull out all the stops. Give it beautiful mountains, lakes, plains, forests, and sandy beaches. Underground, give it oil, gold, etc. Oh, and plenty of fish and wildlife."

"Sir," interjected an archangel, "aren't you being overly generous to the...

President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states.

Solid, liquid and gas.

I’m pleased to announce reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world.

The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content.

North Korea announced to have successfully landed a man on the Sun

During a live interview with Kim Jong-un, a reporter asked, "the Sun is very hot! How did you land a man?" Kim proudly replied, "we launch at night!"

Meanwhile, Trump tweeted while watching the live, "Haha what an idiot! There is no Sun at night!"

Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.

It’s my longest running joke of the year.

Justin Timberlake announces that he will be joining the war in Ukrain.

Early reports suggest that he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea River

Russia has announced early results from the election

The election isn't until tomorrow, but they've already announced that Putin has won.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope announces he's kicking all the Jews out of Rome...

Outraged, the Jewish community call for a chance to debate the Pope and fight to stay.


They elect their best Rabbi and he travels to the Vatican to sit down with the Pope and plead for the Jews right to stay in Rome.


Since the Pope only speaks Latin and the Rabbi only s...

A cat owner invited their neighbor over for dinner and introduced their four cats. "That's Alogue, Aract, Erpillar, and Astrophe," they announced. The neighbor was surprised and asked, Where on Earth did you get those names?

Oh, those are their last names, the owner said. Their first names are Cat.

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each..

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of ...

As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time"

I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?

The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19.

Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

Justin Timberlake just announced he was dyslexic.

Take a moment to let that N'Sync.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

OnlyFans has just announced that it is removing all pornography on october 1st.

I suggested they change their name to LonelyFans, but i dunno

What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?

COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter announces that due to overcrowding, only extremely gruesome deaths will be admitted into heaven today, sorry for any inconvenience.

The first man comes up and Pete says, "How did you die?"

"Well, I's been suspicious that me wife been cheating on me, so I comes home early from work today to catch her, I does. She acts all innocent, she does. She says, 'Go ahead, search the apartment if that will make you feel better,' she ...

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...

“My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!”

“What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired.

“Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came ...

Fellow redditors, I am pleased to announce that I am clean and sober.

So I’m going to finish this shower and head to the liquor store

When Trump announced job creations...

I didn't think it was for the same position over and over again.

[long] European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language...

of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility . As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English ".

In the first year,...

Why do golf announcers whisper?

Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.

The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.

Biden and Obrador were confused and gav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Govenment made a recent announcement.....

.......that it is changing the national flag to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security whilst you're actually...

In a surprising announcement, Head & Shoulders have decided to discontinue their popular anti dandruff shampoo line.

The decision left many scratching their heads.

In 1999, in the midst of the Y2K panic, the KY Jelly company announced it was now Y2K compliant:

Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where is it announced that a Karen has died?

The obitchuary

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tampax have announced a line of festive tampons…

It’s for the Christmas period only though

It is with a heavy heart that I want to announce

That I've been diagnosed with Cardiomegaly.

After Trump’s NFT announcement…

He was called a charlatan. He denied it, saying he lives in Florida.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. and Mrs. Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely. One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”

“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! An...

Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans...

This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water.

I love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song

giving us time to change the song.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple announced a breast implant that plays music...

The iTit is considered a major social break through since women have always complained that men stare at their breasts but never listen to them.

Donald Trump has just announced his candidacy for president

Sorry for putting the punchline in the title.

Once upon a time, a lion announced...

Once upon a time, a lion announced he'll distribute free woolen coats if he is elected 'King of the jungle'.

One foolish sheep asked, "From where the wool will come?"

The lion just laughed and laughed and said, "My finance minister, the cheetah, will explain the source aft...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m sad to announce that my pet parrot died today.

His last words were “Shit, I think my parrot is about to die”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Im proud to announce, that I officially lost my virginity

God I wish I could post this in another subreddit

OC: How did the pirate announce he'd banned Kanye from the treasure hunt?

“There be no gold for Ye here.“

Blonde Wife

One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in Northern Minnesota were listening to the radio.

They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
...

I'm happy to announce that I've been sober for 40 days!

Not in a row or anything. Just total.

Demi Lovato announced they are non-binary today

Congratulations Themi Lovato!

WIFE: I have a couple of important announcements... First: I'm pregnant.

HUSBAND: Hi Pregnant, I'm dad
WIFE: Second: No you're not

My 6th grade teacher, Miss Parkman, told me I'd never make it as a writer and said to find a career that wasn't so challenging. Well, 30 years later, after being turned down by almost every publisher on the planet, I'm thrilled to be able to announce that ...

... I heard Miss Parkman died.

DC has announced an Arab superhero will be featured in their new film.

The world can look forward to seeing O-man.

ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.

ALDI’s nuts

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do they announce overhead when a patient poops in the bed in the hospital?

I Heard they call a Code Amber.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces...

"If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks

"Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says

"Here, iron this!"

PlayStation has announced a new line of shoes for gamers.

Thier first pair will be called Demon Soles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher sent out an announcement that her class will have a day off tomorrow.

One of her students comes home to tell his grandfather. *I don't have to go to school tomorrow, can you take me to the park?* He agrees.

He immediately calls his secretary at work. *Something came up so probably we can't meet up at the hotel tomorrow, let's do it some other time?* She agrees....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The makers of Viagra have announced that they have developed a pill to increase the wetness in women.

They're calling it Niagra.

A scientist announced he managed to cool something down to absolute zero.

It was 0K.

We are proud to announce that r/Jokes is now completely environmentally friendly sub

It's wholly made of recycled materials.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(True joke) In 1960, after winning his olympic gold medal, Muhammad Ali went to eat at a fancy downtown resteraunt.

When the waiter came over Ali asked for a cheeseburger.

Shocked to see a black man sitting in the resteraunt, the waiter announced "We don't serve Negroes".

Ali: "Well I don't eat them either, just give me my damn cheeseburger".

So they just announced the title to the tenth fast and furious movie..

Fast10: Your Seatbelts.

Public Service Announcement

If you get a new baby bunny for Easter, it is not laying little brown chocolate eggs.

Celine Dion just announced she will no longer sing...

Luckily her heart will go on.

Tom Brady just announced that he was retiring from football for good.

That's a relief because if he was retiring for evil, then evil would probably win.

On a flight from Dublin, Ireland to Boston, the chief flight attendant made an announcement...

"Due to a terrible mistake by the airline's caterer, there are only 80 dinners instead of the 225 required to feed all the passengers on board. To fix the situation, we are offering unlimited drinks to anybody who is willing to give up their meal".

Two hours before landing, another announce...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am sad to announce that the Duracell bunny has died...

...from sexual exhaustion. Someone put his batteries in backwards, and instead of going and going and going he kept on coming and coming and coming...

Doctor had something to announce to me.

Doctor: before I announce this too you, when your birthday?

Me: July 10th I'm a cancer

Doctor:welp that takes care of my announcement

Trump is going to make soon a major announcement

Meet us again at Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot

In a concert hall, the concertmaster walks onto the stage to announce the performance

"Piano Concerto no. 1, by Frederic Chopin", - he says, followed by the musician sitting down at the piano.

The pianist starts playing, and is close to a virtuoso. The performance is flawless, the audience applauds in awe, when a large figured man in a really expensive suit emerges from the f...

A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator and loudly announces, “I’ll place my genitals inside this alligator’s mouth…

…the gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed,” he says.

Now, he has the full attention of the bar!

Here’s the deal, he continues, “If this works, everyone buys me drinks.” There is a murmur among the patrons, and after a moment, they a...

Elon Musk has announced a new recipe for chicken soup

First you boil the chicken in water and then you dump the stock.

Britain just announced that from next year, they will put a cap on new immigrants. I vehemently disagree with this policy.

Immigrants should be allowed to put whatever head dress they prefer.

CCP had announced their new president of China

Xii jingping

When the doctor delivered my son. He announced he's going to be a farmer!

I asked how he could tell.
He said, "because he's crying already."

If you find $60-80 to be too expensive for ancestry DNA kits, I have a cheap alternative...

Announce that you won the lottery and you'll quickly find relatives you never knew you had!

My pastor announced that someone in our congregation is possessed by an owl.

All I can think is: “Who? Who?!”

Today SpaceX announced plans to launch several Guernsey cows into low earth orbit

They shall be known as "The Herd Shot Round The World."

It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones.

Well, they’re going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.

A lot has changed since my girlfriend announced pregnancy...

To name a few changes: my identity, place of residence, phone number...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Polish Rocket Scientists Announce to the World They're Going to the Sun in a Spaceship

The entire world wide scientific community swiftly points out that the Sun is too hot for such a journey and they'd quickly burn up to which they replied very smugly: "Ah SEE! We've thought of this and have a plan!.....We're going at NIGHT!"

I do not mean to offend anyone and my apologies to ...

I'm proud to announce that our slaves are finally free.

And that's a great price!

I hate it when attention-seeking people announce their cake day

Well, I hate myself

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I would like to announce that I am no longer a masterbater.

I have graduated to doctorbater.

SO happy to announce my mother has tested negative for COVID-19...

Doctor said the breathing issues are only pulmonary fibrosis, a collapsed lung, and stage 4 cancer. Phew!

A monk, a nun and a priest all suddenly die in a fire and end up before God...

"You are all going to hell!" he announces. "As despite your dedicated lives you still had sins you did not repent for! However, for your services to me, I will allow you to choose your eternal punishment. You must select 3 different things I find most terrible that humans have experienced before. Ea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apple announced its plans for a iPhone buttplug

It will be the world's first smart ass phone

Tide announced the new motto for their pods line.

Cleaning the gene pool since 2017.

The president announced that Oklahoma was taking over the United States.

He said, "Don't worry, the US will be OK."

I'm excited to announce I'm starting my new company that strictly replaces fuses.

When customers come to me to have fuses replaced I'll be able to refuse but still get paid.

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

# This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).

Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/2...

The Russian Navy has announced that it's commissioning glass-bottom warships

...so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.

We're sorry to announce that April fools has been postponed.

Due to the recent coronavirus crisis, April fools has been postponed to May 1st, 2020.
Thanks for your cooperation.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will begin our descent soon," the Scottish pilot announced, as he took a hit and passed the joint to his copilot.

The copilot shook his head. "Look, I'm not gonna rat you out to air traffic control," he said. "But please, *please* stop asking me to call you 'The Highlander."

Vladimir Putin announces russia wants to build a moon base

The idea is that russian astronauts will live there permanently. When the astronauts were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty wasteland, they said:

"No. That's why we want go to the moon."

Following the protests, Iran has announced a controversial move to reopen outdoor markets.

Experts have described the move as a bazaar decision

How do you announce that a psychic little person has escaped from prison?

"A small medium is at large."

Bonus:
A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: “Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!”

Ukraine has announced plans to open Chernobyl as a theme park.

They say ”Its just like Disneyland.” Except the 6-foot mouse is real.

I'm super-thrilled to announce that I am now a member of the DNA!

You know, the National Dyslexia Association!

My sister just announced that she’s pregnant, everybody.

Can’t wait to see if I’ll be an uncle or an aunt.

When the kids came back from recess, the teacher announced a pop spelling quiz...

"Pop spelling quiz, class!" She said, and called on little Johnny.

"What did you do during recess, Johnny?" Asked the teacher. Johnny replied "I played in the sandbox with Suzy and Leroy" "Ok, spell 'sand' and you will get a cookie!" Says the teacher. Johnny spells it correctly and gets h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A WW2 joke I heard recently

So, it’s 1941 and a young German boy is listening to the radio. On the radio Hitler announces that Germany is declaring war on the United States.

The boy asks, “Father, where is the United States?”

“Here, let me show you,” His father responds and points at a map of North America.
...

Who’s job is it to announce the end of April?

Billy “May’s here”

Apple just announced their next groundbreaking product

The iShovel

My daughter came home from her first day at school and announced that she "learned how to make babies"

You drop the "y" and add "ies".

You have to be born in the 1940's and been a teenager in 1957 in order to get this joke

Its 1957 and Bob goes to pick up his date.
Peggy Sue's Father invites him in.

He asks Bob what they plan on doing.

Bob politely responds that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in.

Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I h...

Happy to announce that I’m no longer broke!

I’m beyond that point and am now drowning in debt.

Former Vice President Joe’s taking forever to announce running in 2020

I guess he’s just Biden his time.

I wonder what his decision dePence on, is he afraid that he will be Chene’d to it?

When my teacher announced he had a pop quiz, I gave him a quizzical look….

Thank god it wasn’t a pop test…

Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate...

They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.

God came down from heaven to make an announcement

It's pronounced 'Jod'

I just found out how TV announcers enter brothels. And I'll share that secret...

But first.

If Matt Groening wanted to announce he wanted to do an Ask Me Anything...

Would he say Future-AMA?

I’m proud to announce I have stuck to my New Years Resolution and did not bite my nails the entire month of January.

My feet have never looked better.

The most liberal and forward thinking program has been announced...

Breastfeed The Homeless

I'm happy to announce my new tree surgery business -

Poplar Mechanics

The Moscow State Circus are sad to announce...

The passing of their Human Cannonball.
A spokesman said they hoped that one day they might be able to find a replacement, but aren't sure they'll ever find another man of his calibre.

King Charles has announced that he will be sending his best two Helicopter pilots to Ukraine for the war.

Their names are Andrew and Harry

The Trump administration just announced ...

... no gatherings of 10 or more people.

Once again they found another way to separate Mexican families.

My government recently announced they're phasing out Roman numerals...

Not on my watch.

A blonde got tired of blonde jokes

One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last n...

BREAKING: Matthew McConaughey Announces Gubernatorial Run

When asked regarding his political leanings, McConaughey stated to a reporter that his views were "all right all right all right."

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one...

How do Led Zeppelin band members announce that they're climaxing?

Valhalla, I am coming!

Why did the scientists announce to the world they had a vaccine without adequate human testing?

Because they were Russian...

The W.H.O officially announced that dogs cannot get infected by the Coronavirus. Therefore, dogs can basically leave quarantine.

So, i guess you could say.... W.H.O let the dogs out.

At this mornings press conference, Ron Desantis announced that the state of Florida will be outlawing the consumption and distribution of coffee.

He went on to condemn the beverage as a tool of the WOKE agenda.

I worked as an Emergency Dispatcher, and Im happy to announce

911 was an inside job!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pfizer Announcement

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives...

Russian Ministry of Communication announces proof that Putin invented the telephone.

Played recording of three messages on answering machine left by Alexander Graham Bell.

The Croatian Army announced ot want to replace his VHS rifles...

... with Blueray rifles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub has announced they will be giving Italians under quarantine due to covid 19 free premium access

Talk about coming together when things get hard.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year.

To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride."
The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride."
"No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride."
The third ...

Tesla have just announced their new lawn mower

E Lawn

Why did it take Joe so long to officially announce his 2020 campaign?

He was Biden his time.

BREAKING: The Internet has been permanently shutdown in Russia, Kremlin announced today, adding that a new network open only to Russians is set to go online within the week

Sources close to the Kremlin says Putin himself took to naming the network, proudly dubbing it as 'The Internyet'

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble upon a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Apple Product Announcement: The iBra

Apple announced a new product: a bra that can store and play music. The iBra. The product is being praised as a step toward better relations between men and women. It is intended to address the complaints of women about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

The Washington Redskins announced their new name!

The Pacific Northwest Redskins

An announcement on a plane goes off asking “Is anyone here a doctor?”

12 redditors stand up and say “I’m not a doctor, but...”

The girlfriend announced...

"I love you lots, snuggles."

"And I love you tons." I replied.

"Oh, I see." She said, in a huff. "You've got no nickname for me, then?"

Sometimes I swear the fat cow's going deaf.

Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today that he'll be starring in a new movie about a 18th century composer

When asked about it it, Mr Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach"

A Finn, Swede and Norwegian were on a plane. The pilot announced: "Too much weight! Too much weight!"

The Norwegian dropped an orange off the plane. The pilot repeated: "Too much weight! Too much weight!"

The Swede dropped a banana peel. Yet again there was the request: "Too much weight! Too much weight!"

The Finn dropped a bomb. When the plane finally landed, the Finn, Swede and Norwe...

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

**I've worked out this Corona Virus!!!**

**IT'S BEEN CREATED BY WOMEN!!!**

***Think about it.....***

01, No Sports.

02, All Pubs to shut.

03, 14 Days Quarantine *(so you can finally get those odd jobs done)*

04, Symptoms of Corona are flu like ......  THEY K...

One Christmas Eve, many decades ago, Santa Claus announced to his elves, "I'm supposed to begin my annual flight in one hour. But there are still some toys that need to be made and put into my sack. I need all seven of my elite toymakers to finish the toys on time."

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Kringle," said the elf in charge of the workshop. "One of the elite toymakers is on vacation, and two are sick. I'm afraid we only have four elites tonight."

"So be it," said Santa.

It took two hours for the elves to finish making the toys. By the time they were done...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A contest is announced for all the police agencies in the world

A contest is announced for all the police agencies in the world and after all the qualifying rounds were completed three police agencies were shortlisted for the finals, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, France National Police and NYPD.

Just so it happened that a tiger was terrorizing a near...

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

“Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?”

“There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”

“What color are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily.
“Gold of course...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.