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Advertises Jokes

A church advertises a job for a bell ringer

Several people apply and the minister decides to have auditions to see who rings the bell the best. The last applicant comes in and the minister immediately notices that he has no arms.

"Tell me, son, how do you intend to ring the bell with your disability?"

"It's no problem," the app...

A man advertises in the paper "help wanted"

"need someone with a keen eye for detail for touch up of property."

The next day, he gets a call from a lady enquiring about about the position. She arrives later that day and he's floored by her beauty: blonde, leggy, bodacious.

She asks him "what's needing done, sugar?"

He rep...

There is a restaurant that advertises that it will serve you anything you want, but if they can't, then they will gift you $5000 as an apology.

A man passing by sees this message advertised at the entrance, and believes this to be bullshiet, but decides to try it out anyway.

He enters and a waiter takes him to a table. The waiter asks, "What would you like to eat today, sir?"

Man: "I would like an elephant's ear and a muffin ...

My dad bought an eraser that advertises as “erases big mistakes”

I’m sweating right now

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower.

The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the top of the tower. Bishop: "Ok, show me your plan."
...

An organic bakery advertises that they hire the best people for the job, regardless of criminal history...

I think they should have thought about their name alittle more at Dave's Killer Bread.

One salad: $3, three salads: $10!

At the market place, a seller advertises "1 salad for $3, 3 salads for $10".

A customer passing by stops and speaks with the seller:

-That's not right!

-What do you mean?

-Well, that's not an offer: 3 salads cost $9.

-No, sir, it says here that 3 salads cost $10.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The wives and husbands stores

There's a store somewhere in a small town that advertises selling ready-to-go husbands for women who wish to settle down. One day a woman walks in looking for a husband.

As she walks in, she sees a sign that says "Welcome to Husbands 'R Us! This store has 6 floors. On each floor you will fin...

Two black men are walking down the street. They pass a shop that advertises "Be White For a Day! Ninety-nine cents!"

The two black guys decide to try it out and they look to see how much money they have. One guy has a dollar bill, and the other guy has exactly ninety-eight cents.

They decide that the first guy will go in with the dollar, get his change and then give it to the second guy so he can go in. Pro...

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