UPJOKE
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Which goddess did standup comedians worship in Ancient Greece?

Amirite.

How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an oracle. Step two:

Prophet.

It’s Ancient Greece and a playwright goes to a tailor to have his clothes fixed.

The tailor looks at the clothes and says “ah, Euripides”

The man looks at the tailor and says “yes. Eumenides?”

A Guy Walks Into A Tailor In Ancient Greece

He tosses a toga onto the counter. The tailor picks it up, turns it over and finds a gash across the waist.

The tailor looks up at the man and says, "Euripides?"

The man nods and says, "Yeah. Eumenides?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beauty is just a matter of timing: In 1970s America I would’ve been ridiculed for having a hairless chest. In ancient Greece I would’ve been laughed at for having a big penis.

Still waiting for that bald future all those fucking sci-fi movies promised me.

Why did the Persians invade ancient Greece?

They were looking for weapons of math destruction.




I'll see myself out.

What would you call a mechanic on Ancient Greece?

Mechanicles

I wonder if, in Ancient Greece,

Lighting strikes were considered an "Act of God" by insurance companies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you consider yourself a smart man?

In Ancient Greece, they believed that large penises were symbols of barbarism and idiocy, and small penises were symbols of intelligence and prowess.

See, my wife thinks I’m a massive idiot, but I’m sure you’re a very smart man

I saw a 2000 year old oil stain.

It was from ancient Greece.

Triple Filter

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly: "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like y...

What did Zeus use to make the best fries ever?

Ancient Greece

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