An announcement on a plane goes off asking “Is anyone here a doctor?”
12 redditors stand up and say “I’m not a doctor, but...”
A pilot is flying a plane and shortly after mid-air announcement , forgets to turn off the mic.
He then mentions to his copilot : "I am dating that cute air hostess. After we land , we will go to the hotel and bang. " The air hostess after hearing this runs towards the front of the plane at full speed to tell the pilot to turn off the mic and hits a blind man's stick and falls down. The ...
(NSFW)ish ...A boy and his mother are standing on a train platform when an announcement on the tannoy plays “attention the next train on platform 2 will not be stopping”
The boy shuffles closer to the edge and his mother calls out “billy stand away from the edge of the platform or the train will suck you off.” The boy stops for a second, looks at his mother then back at the tracks. The boy then pelvic thrusts and announces “come onnnnn train”
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Mr. and Mrs. Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely. One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”
“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.
“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”
The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! An...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives...
The UK's response to COVID 19 is fairly confused after tonight's announcement.
We don't know our R's from our elbows
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
**I've worked out this Corona Virus!!!**
**IT'S BEEN CREATED BY WOMEN!!!**
***Think about it.....***
01, No Sports.
02, All Pubs to shut.
03, 14 Days Quarantine *(so you can finally get those odd jobs done)*
04, Symptoms of Corona are flu like ...... THEY K...
Now would be a great time for Bustah Rhymes to make public service announcements.
WUHAN!!!! GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK!!!!
Mom, was I adopted?
-Not yet son, I just put the announcement yesterday
First Time Driving
It was Josh's wifes first time driving. After they left home with thir cars, while driving, an announcement on the radio goes, " Dear drivers, we would like to let you know that a car on Maple Street road is in the wrong lane. Please be careful." Josh quickly calls his wife; " Anna, be careful. Ther...
Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school
One day he surprised his teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"
The IRS has made a major announcement.
All Marijuana Dealers must file a joint tax return.
An eager young attorney had just opened his first office.
He'd decorated it with expensive, heavy oak furniture, a collection of costly art posters, and various other accoutrements to impress any potential client who walked through the door.
He'd placed ads and sent out engraved announcements about his new business, and he was sitting back waiting f...
Doctor had something to announce to me.
Doctor: before I announce this too you, when your birthday?
Me: July 10th I'm a cancer
Doctor:welp that takes care of my announcement
A blonde got tired of blonde jokes...
One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last ni...
THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT TO ALL PEOPLE OF A NERVOUS DISPOSITION