12 O'clock Jokes - 8 Hilarious 12 O'clock Jokes

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A kid walks up a businessman on the phone, and tells him that at 12 o'clock he'll kick is fucking ass.

Infuriated, the businessman hangs up and chases the kid who runs away laughing. After 3 blocks of relentless pursuit, the businessman is winded, but still headed in the direction he saw the kid run off to.

A few minutes later, a buddy of the businessman happens to intercept him as they cros...

World's greatest stock trader retires

Jack Thompson was the most famous stock trader on Wall Street. His funds had made money, in good markets and bad, for decades. Finally ready to retire, he was going to reveal his secrets in an exclusive interview. "What are your tricks?" Asked the reporter. "I've got only one secret. Years ago I not...

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X-Rated Cinderella

You all know the story, Cinderella makes a deal with the Fairy Godmother to go out to the ball, but this time, at midnight, its her downstairs that turns into a pumpkin.

So away she goes to find her Prince, while the Fairy Godmother sits at home waiting.

12 o'clock rolls around, and th...

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After being invited for a night out with "the boys"...

After being invited for a night out with "the boys", a man promised his wife he would be home by midnight.

Having not seen his friends in a while, the man lets time get away from him and gets wasted, stumbling out of his taxi 3 hours late.

As he tries to sneak into the bedr...

One night, a boy dreamt that his grandmother was about to die.

When morning came and the boy woke up, he told his father about the dream he had. The father paid no mind to the dream until later that day when, as the clock struck midnight, the father received a call from his own father, informing him of his mother's heart attack and subsequent death.

A mo...

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A duck, wearing a hard hat, walks into a bar...

At 12 o'clock on the dot, a barman is surprised by the door of his pub being front-kicked open in an angry fashion...

In walks a duck, wearing a hi-vis vest, a hard hat and a scowl that says he's having a bad day.

Before the barman can say a word, the duck exclaims, "WANKERS!!!! CUNTS...

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One day, a hippie gets on a bus...

He sees a beautiful nun and sits next to her. He turns too the nun and says, ''Will you have sex with me?'' Surprised by the question, the Noun answers,''No!'' and gets off at the next stop.

After she gets off the bus the bus driver turns to the Hippie and says,''I over heard your conversatio...

Lunch

First time posting. Sorry for the bad grammar and punctuation.

There were three construction workers an English and Indian and a Chinese. Everyday at 12 o'clock they'd sit down and eat their lunch. They'd been working at this construction site for a month and everyday they would have the same...

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