I hear the inventor of auto correct died

I didn't even know he was I'll

What award did the inventor of knock knock jokes recieve?

The No Bell Prize

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died.

There will be no coffin at his funeral...

I bought a new book yesterday. It's the Biography of Jimmy Scotch, the inventor of "Scotch Tape"

Unfortunately I couldn't find the beginning.

What was the inventor of suspenders awarded for their discovery?

The no-belt prize.

Sadly the inventor of the USB port died recently. . .

They are still trying to figure out which way to put his casket into the ground.

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The inventor of anagrams died today.

May he 'erect a penis'.

The inventor of dog treats died earlier today.

He was a good boy. Yes he was.

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"Build it and they will come"

thought the inventor of the dildo

What's the one thing that Kevin Costner and the inventor of the vibrator have in common?

They both heard voices saying "if you build it, they will come."

What did the Velcro inventor’s grave say?

RIP

What was the name of the Italian inventor who hated Christmas?

Leonardo da Grinchi

The inventor of Winrar has been arrested

His trial is expected to last forever

HARLEY DAVIDSON MEETS GOD

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur though...

An inventor shows his friend the first knife ever.

His friend says, “Wow! That’s the best thing since bread.”


The inventor says, “Well, I’m about to blow your mind.”

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The inventor of the snooze button just died.

His funeral will take place tomorrow at 8:00, 8:05, 8:10 and 8:15.

The inventor of the USB died today.

They lowered his coffin,

raised it back out,

flipped it over,

lowered it again,

raised it back out,

flipped it over again,

then lowered it down again.

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An inventor invented a lie detector...

And decided to try it out with his family before commercializing it.

His wife provides him with the perfect opportunity: Darling I think our son watches porn.

Husband: Lets find out. Son, what did you do this afternoon when you stayed in your room?

Son: Homework

*BEEP*...

The inventor of autocorrect died today

Rust in peeve.

I'd like to congratulate the inventor of the wobbly table

He must be successful with them being in every restaurant and cafe

Sad to report that the inventor of predictive text has passed away

His funfair will be held next Monkey

The inventor of the cross word puzzle died last night.

He will be buried tomorrow, six down and four across.

When the inventor of the USB dies...

they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

The inventor of the TASER gun recently died.

Both friends and enemies
were stunned!

We all remember Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone...

But no one ever remembers Alexander Graham Kowalczyk, the first telephone pole.

You think the inventor of the shoehorn...

ever tries to bring it up in conversation?

The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle has died today...

...his wife is said to be in 1500 pieces!

A brilliant inventor creates a brand new type of leather.

This leather is such an amazing product, the inventor is convinced he's made his legacy. He starts a company that manufactures clothes made out of this new leather material, and it instantly becomes a massive success. Everybody went crazy for their products, and the company's leather jeans in parti...

The inventor of the USB drive passed away recently.

There was some trouble getting his body in the coffin.

What did the inventor of the vacuum cleaner say to the child he never wanted?

Dyson

The inventor of inappropriate innuendo jokes died suddenly yesterday.

His wife is taking it really hard.

The inventor of Twister has died...

...Police say "foul play cannot be ruled out".

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.

That's Remarkable!

Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.

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TIL that Melvil Dewey, inventor of the Dewey Decimal system for organizing library collections, was known to be a serial sexual harasser.

Someone really should've put him in his place.

USB Inventor

When the inventor of the usb dies thay will lower him slowly stop flip the Casket and put him in all the way

The inventor of the light bulb has recently been diagnosed with depression.

I wonder how many people it took to change him.

why couldn't they get the inventor of the hokey pokey into his coffin when he died?

they put his right foot in, they put the right foot out

They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind

But I like to think he had posterior motives.

The inventor of the Big Mac died the other day....

His family ordered the most lavish coffin they could find in the brochure, but were extremely disappointed when it turned out to be nothing like the picture.

I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96

I'm still choked up about it.

I met the inventor of the bobble head

His name is Robert Bullhead. His friends call him Bob

Email inventor dies aged 74

I sent my re:re:re:re:re:gards

I just heard the inventor of autocorrect died...

...may his sole restaurant in pieces.

What happened to the cemetery after the inventor of Tetris was buried?

It disappeared

Don't let the naysayers get you down, even the inventor of toilet paper had his critics...

"this is tearable" they said at first.

The inventor of the butcher knife probably thought very highly of himself

To be fair, it was a very cleaver idea

Did you hear about the depressed genius inventor?

He made a device to electrocute himself... He was shocked when it failed.

The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling hi...

The inventor of the remote control died.

But now nobody can find him...

What do you call it when the inventor of the ceramic knee replacement gets a metal knee replacement?

Iron-knee

Inventors

Tesla, Ford, and Edison were all standing on a stage, presenting their latest findings.

Tesla strolled forward and announced that he had invented a brand new way to transmit energy through the air! The crowd clapped politely.

Ford was next, and pulled the cover off a large engine. He ...

The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died.

Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England.

The inventor of the dissapointing punchline has died

His funeral will be held on Thursday at 2pm.

The inventor of the air conditioner has died

Thousands of fans are attending his funeral

I once dated the inventor of the stopwatch.

That was my 15.535 seconds of fame.

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How can you tell the inventor of the toothbrush was from West Virginia?

If he was from anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

The inventor of AutoCorrect...

...is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.

The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96.

Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears.

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

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I was in the gents restrooms at the urinals with my whacky inventor friend when he told me that he'd installed a voice activated device on his penis to combat his mild incontinence by controlling the flow of his pee.

I said "piss off!" and sure enough it stopped.

The inventor of large scholarly books showed me his factory.

He said, "Make yourself a tome."

The inventor of the Red Solo Cup had died.

His body was found under the sofa in the living room three days after his death.

I met the inventor of the crossword last week.

Can't remember his name. P something T something R.

How did the inventor of the car advertise his new "horse-less carriage"?

He said it goes without a hitch!

What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?

A casket

Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite

...because all the others could not be positively identified.

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A soldier was seriously ill with malaria he contacted while serving at Guadacanal.

Because of his serious illness, he was evacuated to a hospital located in Austrialia. When he woke up, and found himself in a bright room, with an angelic faced nurse looking down at him.

Seeing this, he thinks he's in heaven, and through his cracked lips, he stammered "ddddddid you bring me...

"Your days are numbered!"

# "Your days are numbered!"



Inventor of the calendar, joyously announcing his accomplishment!

Almost a Knock-Knock joke

In 1967, Joe Wallace, the inventor of the Knock-Knock joke, was awarded a ...No Bell prize.

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Apple that tastes like a banana

An inventor goes to the Patents Office to demonstrate his new invention.

"It's an apple that tastes like a banana," he explains. "Try it!"

The official bites into the apple. "My god!" he exclaims, "that's brilliant. It tastes just like a banana!"

"Turn it round," says the invent...

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven,

where Saint Peter gives him a nice, modern six-bedroom house with a pretty garden and a tennis court. Pleased with his lot, Bill quickly settles into the afterlife.

One day he is out walking when he bumps into a man wearing a fine tailored suit.

"That's really nice," says Bill. "Where ...

Sad news from Australia

The inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

The history of the condom.

In 1272, a Welsh inventor created the first condom using a sheeps lower intestine.



In 1873 the English somewhat refined the idea by taking it out of the sheep first.

~ Obligatory edit. No, it took them 601 years to get the welsh out of the sheep to make the condoms.

A man goes along to the Patent Office...

A man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.

He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."

"OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?"

"A fottle, replies the inventor."

"A fottle? That's silly! Can't you thin...

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A King was going to war

A King was going to war but was worried about his beautiful Queen who was horny all the time.

Days prior to the war, he summoned the Royal Inventor and told him to design a chastity belt that will chop off any penis that got near her royal parts.

The Royal Inventor succeeded and the ...

My grandfather was a very intelligent man.

He was an inventor. He invented the cold air balloon. Only problem was it never really took off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Man who Chose Heaven Instead of Hell

Evan O'Reilly was known throughout America as a truly exceptional man. As the curer of several diseases, the discoverer of many life supporting planets, and the inventor of many new robotics, he was given an option as he neared his death. He was visited by the Angel of Death when he was 108 (his new...

Harley Davidson dies and goes to heaven...

He was met at the gate by saint Peter. He said to Harley your not suppose to be here, your supposed to be in hell. Harley said no I’m not I want to see the boss. Saint Peter takes Harley to see God. Harley says to God I’m suppose to be up here not in hell. Oh Harley you invented the motorbike, I’m a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"The watch"

My dad just reminded me of this old classic!

Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says....

Reddit, help me finish this joke!

I have the first two parts:

1) The inventor of the Pringles crisp packaging was so proud of his invention that he was cremated and buried in a Pringles can.

2) The inventor of Doritos requested his family dust his grave with crumbled Doritos before burying his urn.

I need hel...

Do you like Knock Knock jokes?

Because I believe that the inventor of the knock knock joke deserves a 'No-bell' prize.

The Club of People That Made Things That Plug Into Computers

There is a prestigious and hard-to-get-into club of people who invented things that plug into computers, like the USB, HDMI, ethernet and so on. This club meets regularly but then, after a few years, the inventor of the USB died. It was a very sad time, but they held a beautiful funeral service for ...

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