What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.

That's Remarkable!

Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it is also likely be told in some form before.

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Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, was getting frustrated.

Everywhere he went, people pretended they were choking to see what he would do. One day, he visited England. During a banquet with the royal family, the Queen grabbed her throat and bent over. Heimlich ignored her, and she confessed that she was faking. Later, he passed a prince on the street, and t...

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Why did the inventor of the peanut butter cup give up on eating them with her fork ?

Because it was easier for Reese with her spoon

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 

The four brothers walked...

The inventor of velcro just passed away.

RIP.

The inventor of sliced bread

Is likely the one that cut the cheese.

The inventor of the crossword puzzle lives near me.

Street's three across and two down.

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The inventor...

... of the sexual innuendo has passed away.



His wife is taking it very hard.

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

The inventor of the throat lozenge passed away!

There’s no cough-in at his funeral.

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The inventor of the anagram has died.

May he erect a penis.

An inventor is about to pass, leaving all he has to his only family. His two children.

He was a very altruistic person in life, only using his inventions to help people and not make any profit. His daughter admired this trait and followed this path becoming a tinkerer herself. His son, however, was an opportunist. He would always attempt to make a profit off any of his father's invent...

A reporter goes to see an inventor who claims to have invented a machine that can answer any question

The reporter is asked to speak his question into the microphone and the machine will answer it with 100% accuracy.

Sceptical but curious the reporter starts easy, "Where is my mother?"

The machine bleeps and buzzes and then announces "Your mother is at her book club, they have just rev...

The inventor of autocorrect walks into a bar.

He asks for a bear

The inventor of the umbrella was originally going to call it the brella

But he hesitated.

Did you know the inventor of the typewriter was unknown until recent discoveries in China?

The new discoveries point to a man named Tye Ping

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Bra Inventor

A scientist has invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.



"Women need not worry, we have killed that bastard"

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The inventor of the Fleshlight, frustrated with his wife for refusing his sexual advances, hears a voice one night...

"If you build it you will cum!"

An computer inventor starts talking to his friend.

“I’ve almost made a human-like robot!” He says.
“You mean it can think?” His friend replies.
“No, but when it fails, it puts the blame on the back of another computer.”

When the inventor of Tetris, Alexey Pajitnov, died, his coffin was put into the ground.

Then the entire cemetery disappeared.

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The inventor of anagrams died today.

May he 'erect a penis'.

I hear the inventor of auto correct died

I didn't even know he was I'll

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Inventor

So there is an inventor who is walking into a patent office, when he gets there he puts an apple on the table.

"I want to patent this" he said

The other guy looked at him, confused.

"I'm pretty sure you can't patent a normal apple, is this a joke?"

"Taste it," he said
...

Sad to report that the inventor of predictive text has passed away

His funfair will be held next Monkey

Sadly the inventor of the USB port died recently. . .

They are still trying to figure out which way to put his casket into the ground.

The inventor of the light bulb

Certainly had a bright future

An eccentric dutch inventor whom invented inflatable shoes has died.

A member of the family said it was only a matter of time until he popped his clogs.

What award did the inventor of knock knock jokes recieve?

The No Bell Prize

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The inventor of the snooze button just died.

His funeral will take place tomorrow at 8:00, 8:05, 8:10 and 8:15.

To the inventor of suspenders:

You deserve the Nobelt price.

When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did.

The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

I bought a new book yesterday. It's the Biography of Jimmy Scotch, the inventor of "Scotch Tape"

Unfortunately I couldn't find the beginning.

When the inventor of the USB dies...

they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

The inventor of Winrar has been arrested

His trial is expected to last forever

The inventor of the USB died.

They lowered his coffin, raised it back out, flipped it over, lowered it again, raised it back out, flipped it over again, then lowered him again.

The inventor of glass coffins was asked would his failing business ever succeed.

He replied. Remains to be seen.

The inventor of the cross word puzzle died last night.

He will be buried tomorrow, six down and four across.

A brilliant inventor creates a brand new type of leather.

This leather is such an amazing product, the inventor is convinced he's made his legacy. He starts a company that manufactures clothes made out of this new leather material, and it instantly becomes a massive success. Everybody went crazy for their products, and the company's leather jeans in parti...

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An inventor invented a lie detector...

And decided to try it out with his family before commercializing it.

His wife provides him with the perfect opportunity: Darling I think our son watches porn.

Husband: Lets find out. Son, what did you do this afternoon when you stayed in your room?

Son: Homework

*BEEP*...

The inventor of ibuprofen, Stewart Adams, died today at 95 years old.

The priest got up to present the eulogy NSAID he was a lovely bloke.

Inventor displays the first knife ever.

His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind"

What was the inventor of suspenders awarded for their discovery?

The no-belt prize.

What did the Velcro inventor’s grave say?

RIP

What was the name of the Italian inventor who hated Christmas?

Leonardo da Grinchi

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven"...

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me.....

What's the one thing that Kevin Costner and the inventor of the vibrator have in common?

They both heard voices saying "if you build it, they will come."

The inventor of the TASER gun recently died.

Both friends and enemies
were stunned!

We all remember Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone...

But no one ever remembers Alexander Graham Kowalczyk, the first telephone pole.

The inventor of the USB drive passed away recently.

There was some trouble getting his body in the coffin.

I'd like to congratulate the inventor of the wobbly table

He must be successful with them being in every restaurant and cafe

You think the inventor of the shoehorn...

ever tries to bring it up in conversation?

Email inventor dies aged 74

I sent my re:re:re:re:re:gards

One day the famous inventor Thomas Newcomen sits in a pub, crying.

Someone comes up to him and asks him what's wrong. Thomas stifles a sob and says, "Someone made a steam engine that's better than mine."

The guy asked him, "What are you talking about?"

Thomas replies, "Precisely."

The inventor of dog treats died earlier today.

He was a good boy. Yes he was.

The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle has died today...

...his wife is said to be in 1500 pieces!

Three hold their speech in heaven

They were set to live in the grand inventors' area and each weekend every district held a meeting. This week it was these guys' turn. The first one goes:


"I was the inventor of the frisbee, so when I died they cremated me and turned the ashes into a frisbee!"

Everyone applauded. Th...

Get set.....

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol...

What did the inventor of the vacuum cleaner say to the child he never wanted?

Dyson

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My Father Was An Inventor

When I was a kid he would invent the most amazing things, and I was fascinated with every thing he invented. He would start a new project at the beginning of every month, and it would always be done at the end of the month, and I would always be the first to see his new invention.

One year th...

The inventor of Twister has died...

...Police say "foul play cannot be ruled out".

The inventor of the light bulb has recently been diagnosed with depression.

I wonder how many people it took to change him.

I just heard the inventor of autocorrect died...

...may his sole restaurant in pieces.

I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96

I'm still choked up about it.

USB Inventor

When the inventor of the usb dies thay will lower him slowly stop flip the Casket and put him in all the way

Don't let the naysayers get you down, even the inventor of toilet paper had his critics...

"this is tearable" they said at first.

The inventor of the Big Mac died the other day....

His family ordered the most lavish coffin they could find in the brochure, but were extremely disappointed when it turned out to be nothing like the picture.

Inventors

Tesla, Ford, and Edison were all standing on a stage, presenting their latest findings.

Tesla strolled forward and announced that he had invented a brand new way to transmit energy through the air! The crowd clapped politely.

Ford was next, and pulled the cover off a large engine. He ...

The inventor of the air conditioner has died

Thousands of fans are attending his funeral

The inventor of the dissapointing punchline has died

His funeral will be held on Thursday at 2pm.

They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind

But I like to think he had posterior motives.

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TIL that Melvil Dewey, inventor of the Dewey Decimal system for organizing library collections, was known to be a serial sexual harasser.

Someone really should've put him in his place.

I met the inventor of the bobble head

His name is Robert Bullhead. His friends call him Bob

The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died.

Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England.

Did you hear about the depressed genius inventor?

He made a device to electrocute himself... He was shocked when it failed.

I once dated the inventor of the stopwatch.

That was my 15.535 seconds of fame.

What do you call it when the inventor of the ceramic knee replacement gets a metal knee replacement?

Iron-knee

The inventor of the remote control died.

But now nobody can find him...

The inventor of AutoCorrect...

...is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96.

Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears.

The inventor of large scholarly books showed me his factory.

He said, "Make yourself a tome."

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I was in the gents restrooms at the urinals with my whacky inventor friend when he told me that he'd installed a voice activated device on his penis to combat his mild incontinence by controlling the flow of his pee.

I said "piss off!" and sure enough it stopped.

I met the inventor of the crossword last week.

Can't remember his name. P something T something R.

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven,

where Saint Peter gives him a nice, modern six-bedroom house with a pretty garden and a tennis court. Pleased with his lot, Bill quickly settles into the afterlife.

One day he is out walking when he bumps into a man wearing a fine tailored suit.

"That's really nice," says Bill. "Where ...

How did the inventor of the car advertise his new "horse-less carriage"?

He said it goes without a hitch!

What's something that the inventor doesn't want, the buyer doesn't use, and the user doesn't know about it?

A casket

BREAKING NEWS

The inventor of predictive text was injured in a traffic accident.

He's been bacon by ambience to the horse piddle.

Alfred Nobel is considered the inventor of dynamite

...because all the others could not be positively identified.

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