UPJOKE
inventionpatentdiscoverercreatormakermanufacturerindustrialistengineerwrightinnovatornikola teslaphysicistmathematicianentrepreneurpioneer

The inventor of the USB stick has died

At his funeral they gently lowered the coffin, then pulled it back up, turned it the other way, then lowered it again.

Stephen Wilhite, one of the lead inventors of the GIF, passed away last week at the age of 74

Jodspeed, Stephen.

The inventor of the gif has died...

I expect we'll see many moving tributes.

Sir John Harrington, inventor of the modern flush toilet is well remembered for two reasons:

Number 1 and Number 2

The inventor of Velcro died today.

RIP

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 


The four brothers ...

Swedish inventors have created cyborgs which are hard to distinguish from real humans.

Critics are concerned about the use of artificial Swedeners.

What was the inventor of the Fleshlight thinking?

If I build it, they will cum.

The inventor of the umbrella was going to call it the brella,

but when he went to register the patent , he hesitated.

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, 'I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Ar...

The inventor of the ballet skirt was struggling for a name for his invention.

Finally he put tu and tu together.

The inventor of the ferris wheel never met the inventor of the merry-go-round

They moved in different circles.

Is it true that the inventor of fractions was...

...Louis the 1/16th?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An inventor, Liam, builds a humanoid lie detector robot that can slap you if you lie. As with all his inventions, his family will be the first round of test subjects.

At dinner, the inventor asks his son Jimmy about his day.

"I was at Scotts, we were studying for mid-terms."

The robot suddenly springs to life, slapping the son hard upside the head.

"Ow, what the fucking shit?" Jimmy exclaims angrily.

Liam looks at his son with a bemu...

With my time machine, I traveled back to 1945 to show the inventor of Doc Martens my shiny new boots...

Do you think I created a Pair O' Docs?

Sad to report that the inventor of predictive text has passed away

His funfair will be held next Monkey

The inventor of autocorrect has died

His funnel is tomato

The inventor of Halls Cough Drops died last night.

There will be no coffin at his funeral.

The Inventor of the Cassette Tape Died This Week...

But his memory will never be erased.

It will get a bit fuzzy over time though.

What happened to the inventor of the inflatable shoe?

He popped his clogs.

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74

the inventor of the revolving door looked at a perfectly normal door and boldly asked "what if i added social anxiety?"

if i go too slow? surely everyone behind me hates me.

too fast? everyone behind me is in danger.

perfect invention.

let's put them in the busiest buildings.

The inventor of the crossword puzzle lives near me.

Street's three across and two down.

The inventor of autocorrect walks into a bar.

He asks for a bear

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The inventor of anagrams died today.

May he 'erect a penis'.

The inventor of autocorrect died today

His funfair will be hello on sundial

Sadly the inventor of the USB port died recently. . .

They are still trying to figure out which way to put his casket into the ground.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly inventor was becoming depressed with his life: his hearing was failing, his wife was always nagging him, he hadn't invented anything good in years, and his former good looks had been replaced by wrinkles and sagging skin.

He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.

His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, was getting frustrated.

Everywhere he went, people pretended they were choking to see what he would do. One day, he visited England. During a banquet with the royal family, the Queen grabbed her throat and bent over. Heimlich ignored her, and she confessed that she was faking. Later, he passed a prince on the street, and t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The inventor of the sexual innuendo has sadly passed away

His wife is taking it really hard

A reporter goes to see an inventor who claims to have invented a machine that can answer any question

The reporter is asked to speak his question into the microphone and the machine will answer it with 100% accuracy.

Sceptical but curious the reporter starts easy, "Where is my mother?"

The machine bleeps and buzzes and then announces "Your mother is at her book club, they have just rev...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the inventor of the peanut butter cup give up on eating them with her fork ?

Because it was easier for Reese with her spoon

An inventor is about to pass, leaving all he has to his only family. His two children.

He was a very altruistic person in life, only using his inventions to help people and not make any profit. His daughter admired this trait and followed this path becoming a tinkerer herself. His son, however, was an opportunist. He would always attempt to make a profit off any of his father's invent...

I hear the inventor of auto correct died

I didn't even know he was I'll

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.

That's Remarkable!

Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.

The inventor of sliced bread

Is likely the one that cut the cheese.

What award did the inventor of knock knock jokes recieve?

The No Bell Prize

Inventor displays the first knife ever.

His friend, "that's the greatest invention since bread"
Inventor, "well I'm about to blow your mind"

The inventor of the light bulb

Certainly had a bright future

When the inventor of Tetris, Alexey Pajitnov, died, his coffin was put into the ground.

Then the entire cemetery disappeared.

What price did the inventor of the knock-knock joke win?

The No-bell price

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bra Inventor

A scientist has invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.



"Women need not worry, we have killed that bastard"

Did you know the inventor of the typewriter was unknown until recent discoveries in China?

The new discoveries point to a man named Tye Ping

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The inventor of the snooze button just died.

His funeral will take place tomorrow at 8:00, 8:05, 8:10 and 8:15.

I bought a new book yesterday. It's the Biography of Jimmy Scotch, the inventor of "Scotch Tape"

Unfortunately I couldn't find the beginning.

An computer inventor starts talking to his friend.

“I’ve almost made a human-like robot!” He says.
“You mean it can think?” His friend replies.
“No, but when it fails, it puts the blame on the back of another computer.”

The inventor of Winrar has been arrested

His trial is expected to last forever

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inventor

So there is an inventor who is walking into a patent office, when he gets there he puts an apple on the table.

"I want to patent this" he said

The other guy looked at him, confused.

"I'm pretty sure you can't patent a normal apple, is this a joke?"

"Taste it," he said
...

A brilliant inventor creates a brand new type of leather.

This leather is such an amazing product, the inventor is convinced he's made his legacy. He starts a company that manufactures clothes made out of this new leather material, and it instantly becomes a massive success. Everybody went crazy for their products, and the company's leather jeans in parti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The inventor of the Fleshlight, frustrated with his wife for refusing his sexual advances, hears a voice one night...

"If you build it you will cum!"

The inventor of the cross word puzzle died last night.

He will be buried tomorrow, six down and four across.

The inventor of glass coffins was asked would his failing business ever succeed.

He replied. Remains to be seen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know the inventor of the first dildo was Chinese?

His name was Hung Dong

When the chair was invented, the inventor’s friend wanted to know what it did.

The inventor replied: ‘You might want to sit down for this.’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An inventor invented a lie detector...

And decided to try it out with his family before commercializing it.

His wife provides him with the perfect opportunity: Darling I think our son watches porn.

Husband: Lets find out. Son, what did you do this afternoon when you stayed in your room?

Son: Homework

*BEEP*...

The inventor of the USB drive passed away recently.

There was some trouble getting his body in the coffin.

The inventor of the TASER gun recently died.

Both friends and enemies
were stunned!

I can't remember the name of superhero who is an inventor

Is it Elon man?

An eccentric dutch inventor whom invented inflatable shoes has died.

A member of the family said it was only a matter of time until he popped his clogs.

A new invention

An inventor walks into a bar and orders a bottle of champagne. "Let's celebrate!" the inventor tells the bartender. "My latest invention is finally in production and will be on the market soon ... just in time for this crazy cold snap that is coming next week." "What is it?" the bartender asks. "It'...

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher and political theorist,

but very few people know about his sister,

Onya, the inventor of the starter pistol.

What did the Velcro inventor’s grave say?

RIP

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys meet at a bar. one of them is an inventor.

Bob,the inventor,tosses Felix a peach."What's this?"Felix asks.

"It's a peach."says Bob.

"I know it's a peach." Felix says.

"It's a special peach"Bob says.

"What's so special about it?"continues Felix.

"This one here,I shit you not, tastes just like a woman's vagin...

The inventor of ibuprofen, Stewart Adams, died today at 95 years old.

The priest got up to present the eulogy NSAID he was a lovely bloke.

You think the inventor of the shoehorn...

ever tries to bring it up in conversation?

I'd like to congratulate the inventor of the wobbly table

He must be successful with them being in every restaurant and cafe

I just heard the inventor of autocorrect died...

...may his sole restaurant in pieces.

I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96

I'm still choked up about it.

The inventor of the Big Mac died the other day....

His family ordered the most lavish coffin they could find in the brochure, but were extremely disappointed when it turned out to be nothing like the picture.

What was the inventor of suspenders awarded for their discovery?

The no-belt prize.

The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle has died today...

...his wife is said to be in 1500 pieces!

What was the name of the Italian inventor who hated Christmas?

Leonardo da Grinchi

The inventor of the air conditioner has died

Thousands of fans are attending his funeral

What's the one thing that Kevin Costner and the inventor of the vibrator have in common?

They both heard voices saying "if you build it, they will come."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Father Was An Inventor

When I was a kid he would invent the most amazing things, and I was fascinated with every thing he invented. He would start a new project at the beginning of every month, and it would always be done at the end of the month, and I would always be the first to see his new invention.

One year th...

Don't let the naysayers get you down, even the inventor of toilet paper had his critics...

"this is tearable" they said at first.

The inventor of Twister has died...

...Police say "foul play cannot be ruled out".

The inventor of the light bulb has recently been diagnosed with depression.

I wonder how many people it took to change him.

USB Inventor

When the inventor of the usb dies thay will lower him slowly stop flip the Casket and put him in all the way

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL that Melvil Dewey, inventor of the Dewey Decimal system for organizing library collections, was known to be a serial sexual harasser.

Someone really should've put him in his place.

Inventors

Tesla, Ford, and Edison were all standing on a stage, presenting their latest findings.

Tesla strolled forward and announced that he had invented a brand new way to transmit energy through the air! The crowd clapped politely.

Ford was next, and pulled the cover off a large engine. He ...

The inventor of dog treats died earlier today.

He was a good boy. Yes he was.

The inventor of the dissapointing punchline has died

His funeral will be held on Thursday at 2pm.

What did the inventor of the vacuum cleaner say to the child he never wanted?

Dyson

They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind

But I like to think he had posterior motives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

I met the inventor of the bobble head

His name is Robert Bullhead. His friends call him Bob

What do you call it when the inventor of the ceramic knee replacement gets a metal knee replacement?

Iron-knee

The inventor of the remote control died.

But now nobody can find him...

Did you hear about the depressed genius inventor?

He made a device to electrocute himself... He was shocked when it failed.

The inventor of AutoCorrect...

...is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.

The inventor of the butcher knife probably thought very highly of himself

To be fair, it was a very cleaver idea

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

I once dated the inventor of the stopwatch.

That was my 15.535 seconds of fame.

The inventor of the Red Solo Cup had died.

His body was found under the sofa in the living room three days after his death.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you tell the inventor of the toothbrush was from West Virginia?

If he was from anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the gents restrooms at the urinals with my whacky inventor friend when he told me that he'd installed a voice activated device on his penis to combat his mild incontinence by controlling the flow of his pee.

I said "piss off!" and sure enough it stopped.

The inventor of large scholarly books showed me his factory.

He said, "Make yourself a tome."

The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96.

Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.