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Worrying Jokes

My family was furious at me for not worrying about my cousin who got the left side of his body crushed by a boulder.

I knew he’d be all right.

Well, after spending all day worrying about a food shortage at the annual spoonerism contest...

it turns out it was just a lack of pies!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are my testicles Black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, S...

Quit worrying about life.

You won't survive it anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some worrying news for grammar Nazis, a new study shows...

that homophone misuse is at an awl thyme hi.

The amount of bad Coronavirus jokes are starting to reach worrying numbers.

Some scientist claim it might become a pundemic!

I Can't stop watching doomsday films like The End of the World (1916), The War of the Worlds (1953), Strangelove or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964), The day the Earth stood still (1951) The Omega Man (1971)

It's like there's no tomorrow.

My friend went to the doctors worrying that he had caught the Coronavirus from his complete collection of Matt Groening animation figures.

Luckily his diagnosis was negative, despite having all the Simpsons.

Hear the one about the guy who couldn't stop worrying about shelves?

He was shelf conscious.

An old Irish saying about worrying.

There are only two things in life to worry about: if you are well or if you are sick. If you are well, there is nothing to worry about.

If you are sick, there are only two things to worry about: if you will get better or if you will die. If you get better, there is nothing to worry about. ...

Over 90% of the things you worry about, never happens.

Which proves....Worrying really works.

I think the world would be a better place if everyone stopped worrying about good posture...

It's just a hunch.

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