The 13+ Best Unsettle Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s been a long week in the greengrocers ….

It’s been a long week in the greengrocers but it finally gets to Friday night and three best mates - a lemon, a potato and a pea - decide to have a couple of beers after work, as so often happens, soon they’re on a full on pub crawl...

They have a great night, hitting pub after pub , knocki...

The doctor called me into his office today looking unsettled.

I asked the doctor why he looked so dismayed. He looked at me and said “I have bad news and worse news”. I boldly looked him in the eyes and told him to inform me of the issue. The doctor replied “You have 29 hours to live”. To which I uncomfortably asked what the worse news was. The doctor replied ...

A drawing is walking in an alley, and seems unsettled.

The drawing thinks to itself, “Man, this place seems a little sketchy.”

Old Lady Speeding...

**One night a state cop saw a car riding along at 22 miles per hour. He put on his lights and pulled the car over. He approached the window and saw that there were 5 old ladies in the car that looked shocked and pale.**

**The old lady who was driving said “Officer, I don't get why you pulled ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trucker is hauling a B-double with three containers full of computer parts.

It's getting on toward dark, and so he stops at a steakhouse for a bite.

The first thing he sees is a sign on the door:

NO THONGS

NO SINGLETS

NO NERDS

MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ADMISSION

No nerds? Weird. But whatever...

Once upon a time there were three kingdoms.

They all bordered a large lake, which created trade and travel for all three kingdoms. Eventually, the ruler of the first kingdom decided that it wanted to control the whole lake. With his superior navy, he took control. In the generations to follow, his kingdom prospered. The second kingdom tried i...

A ventriloquist decides to retire to and buy a farm.

So this ventriloquist decided he is going to retire and buy a farm. He sees a farm for sale from an old widowed farmer. He meets the farmer and learns his name is farmer Brown. The farmer is showing him around and the ventriloquist decides he will have a little fun with the farmer. As they walk p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar that is empty apart from the bartender...

...he orders a beer, the bartender gives him the beer along with some peanuts and then says

"listen buddy I have to go into the back room, do you mind being alone for a little bit?
The man says "no that's fine". He is enjoying his beer when all of a sudden a voice pipes up and says "hey I...

What if it is only you

David walks to to Fernando and says "hey I've heard that you are interested in the future"

Fernando replies "not sure how much longer than usual but I don't think I have to"

When the rain started they were unsettled.

Dissolved oxygen and nutrients in the office on Monday and W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Steve and Natalia

Steve and world famous super model Natalia are stranded on an uninhabited island after the sinking of their cruise ship. After securing their survival they eventually start having sex and Steve is ecstatic. After about three weeks he gets antsy and asks Natalia, if she could put on one of his shirts...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tell me, what part of my body is the greatest?

A man had just moved inn, in a new apartment on the 5th floor. One morning, he was going to get his mail on the first floor. When he arrived, he saw a beautiful, blond woman, getting her mail as well. She was wearing an almost transparent morning robe, and the man started to blush. The woman saw the...

A businessman walks into a bar

After a long day working late at the office. He settles into a stool near the bar and orders some suds from the bartender.

Out of nowhere, the man hears a tiny voice call out "Nice tie!". Startled, the man looks around, and only sees a few locals tending to their drinks a few seats down. He ...

I got my Bachelor of Science from Franklin University

But people seem quite unsettled when I tell them I got my BS from FU

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.