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Working Out Jokes

A man is working out with a blonde nearby

He gets hot while doing his sets so he takes off his shirt. The blonde winks and says "Wow, you've got some nice pecs there."

The man smirks and says "100 pounds of pure dynamite, babe." and returns to his workout. A few minutes go by and he gets hotter so he takes off his pants.

The b...

Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym.

After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.

One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"

The other said, "What for?"

My girlfriend said that it wasn’t working out between us and that we should start seeing other people.

So I took her wheelchair. Just as I thought... She couldn’t stand to leave me.

(Original Joke?) What do you call a stick figure who is enthusiastic about working out?

A gymna-stick.

Time to change careers. This cat burglar thing isn't working out.

Too many friggin' scratches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife has been working out a lot lately.

For example today she worked out I've been fucking her sister.

I used to have a hard time picking up girls before I started working out

Now I can toss them in the back of my van no problem.

It's been a year that I started working out to lose 10 pounds...

Only 12 more to go

Why do ghosts hate working out?

Because they have to exorcise

What does a pirate do before working out at the gym?

Changes in Davy Jones's locker room.

Went to the gym earlier, and while working out I noticed a hole in my trainer... just big enough to get my finger in.

Anyway....she filed a formal complaint and I'm banned for life

A farmer was working out in the field with his three daughters one day when he saw a car approach

A strapping young man stepped out of the car and approached the farmer confidently.

'Hello sir. My name's Dean, and I'm here to take Jean to the dairy Queen'

The farmer respects the lads courteous approach and says, 'Alright Jean off you go, you kids enjoy yourselves'. Not five minutes...

A census enumerator is working out in the country when he knocks on the door of a farmhouse.

A woman opens the door, and the man explains he’s with the census and she agrees to do the interview. Eventually he gets to the part where he asks if she has children.

“Let’s see,” says the woman, “There’s Timmy and Tammy; they’re 4. There’s Molly and Holly; they’re 8. There’s Terry and Larr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What pain does a jet pilot have after working out?

Afterburners




(That has got to be the shittiest jokeI have ever made)

A wife starts working out

Every night a wife sees his husband on his phone smiling before he goes to sleep. The wife sees what he’s been doing on his phone but she keeps it secret. One day the husband wakes up to see his wife working out and he says “Good morning. What are you up to?”. The wife replies “I want to get ripped”...

Whenever I see Instagram models working out, I am inspired to do my own workout.

Unfortunately, it's only for my left arm.

Working out changed my life, I dropped 45 pounds...

On my foot. I can never walk the same again

This quarantine thing is not working out.

My wife and I are becoming friends and I almost told her about my girlfriend.

1 month ago I started working out. I lost....

30 days

How did the T-Rex feel after working out? [OC]

Dino-sore

[At a restaurant] Her: It’s not working out between us. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: Oh, ok. And for the main course?

Since working out and getting a better job women no longer avoid me like the plague

Now they avoid me like Covid - 19

I try working out by lifting dictionaries...

I've been told that's how you get definition.

To me, working out is a drug.

I don’t do drugs.

When it comes to working out, there are two kinds of people

Those who are fit and those who say f-it.

Did you hear that Jesus had to quit working out?

Yeah, he did crossfit for so long, it took him three days to recover

Waldo is working out at the gym

He sees another guy there and asks, "hey man, can you spot me?"

The guy says: "Well I'll try my best, but it might take me a while."

I don’t think the relationship with my phone is working out

We have no connection outside the house

Why I love working out at the gym I go to!

There's this hot MILF always walking around checking me out.

I love home gyms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things are not working out with my math teacher girlfriend but she is really good at sex.

I don't know whether to eighty-six her or sixty-nine her.

I thought I saw a sheet of metal working out

It was just a curling iron

What did the Amish husband say to his wife when she got back from working out on the farm all day?

Amish you.

Not to say I have trouble working out...

But I sat on the rowing machine and it sank.

Men's jeans haven't really been working out for me, so I decided to try on women's jeans.

Then I realized it was the closest I'll ever get into a girl's pants.

An older guy starts working out at gym with a personal trainer. Soon after, a really fine looking woman came in and started working out.

The older guy looks to his personal trainer, “what machine can I use to impress her?”

“The ATM in the lobby,” the trainer replies.

The best part about working out and eating healthy food:

Eventually you'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore.

"Wow, Santa! Have you lost some weight? And have you been working out? I can sure tell...Because you look great for your age!"

Rudolph The Brown Nose Reindeer

Instead of working out, I'm just going to get a label maker.

I'll label my scale "1-10", then every time I step on it I'll be reminded that on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 220.

Two integrals are working out at the gym

One says to the other 'I'm really going to push past my limits today'.

'Are you sure of that?'

'Well, I can't be definite'

I just started working out and taking supplements

Am feeling whey better now

I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out

I ask the guy who is running the gym,


“Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies?” He smiles says “Try the ATM in the lobby”.

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