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How do you differentiate between a dad joke and a bad joke?

When it's funny as a motherfucker.

How can you differentiate a happy face to a sad face?

It depends on where the D is placed

How can you differentiate male ants from female ants?

They're all female, otherwise they'd be called uncles

OC joke: How to differentiate if a person is a genetics expert or a BDSM enthusiast?

Ask them the opposite of 'dominant'

When I was young I couldn’t differentiate between black and white.

Those were dark times.
Or not.
I could never tell.

How can you differentiate between an original joke and a repost?

The original one is not on the frontpage

Do you know why persident Trump is a fan of Pfizer?

He can't read well enough to differentiate between election and erection, and thinks if he just buys enough blue pills, the erectoral college will stand up for him

What do you get when you differentiate Amazon with respect to x?

Amazon Prime.

Religions are like e^x.

No matter how you try to differentiate them or integrate them. They remain the same.

Science tip: You can differentiate between an alligator and a crocodile... paying attention to whether it sees you later or in a while.

what do you call a person who cant differentiate a t-shirt from a polo


Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted

What happens to a constant when it’s differentiated?

it disintegrates

I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

It was very difficult to differentiate between them.

What do you get when you differentiate Optimus?

The leader of the Autobots!

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What do you call an invalidation of someone's argument because they cannot differentiate between their and they're?

ad homonym

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I don't see countries or borders, I don't see color or race or anything that differentiates people.

Seriously, I think I fucked up my eyes.

A woman is walking down the street when she bumps into an old friend she hasn't seen in a long time. They sit down on a bench and catch up on their lives.

Friend: So do you have any kids?

Woman: Yes, I have 5 boys.

Friend: Nice! What are their names?

Woman: Steve.

Friend: You mean... All of them are named Steve?

Woman: Exactly, it's so much easier that way! It's hard enough to supervise 5 boys playing together, it's ...

Ordinary Differential Humor

A bunch of continuous functions were hanging out at a bar, having a few drinks and having fun. The door swings opened and the differential operator walked in. All the functions started scrambling and ran out the door except one lonely function.

The differential operator ran up to him and yel...

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

There is a good chance you’ll fail your calculus exam if you are sitting between identical twins.

Because it’s hard to differentiate between them.

They should say "it's litmus" instead of "it's lit."

That way, you can differentiate the people who are basic and the people who aren't.

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The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by.

He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smil...

I found out my friend is addicted to math.

I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imag...

Jesus went into the mountains with his disciples; and he began to teach them, saying:

Blessed are the meek.

Blessed are the poor in spirit.

Blessed are those who mourn.

Blessed are the peacemakers.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

And Peter said: Will this be in the test?

And Philip said: Were we supposed...

When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins.

Because you might not be able to differentiate between them.

A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody:

"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!"
So everybody gets scared and runs away.
Only one person stays.
The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!"
And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

Two blonds bought a horse each

When one says to the other

"Hey Jess, how will we be able to tell the horses apart?"

"Easy, I will cut its mane, so the one with the mane is yours, and the one without mane is mine"

But at night, the horse caretaker cut the other horse mane as a prank

So the next day, whe...

A mathematician opens a burger restaurant in a city already filled with burger restaurants...

A customer asks the owner:

“How do you plan to differentiate from other burger restaurants?”

The owner replies and says:

“I integrate instead.”

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What's the smartest muscle in the human body?

The anal sphincter; it can differentiate solid, liquid, and gas.

A crazy man walks on to a bus and starts repeating,

(Warning: this is a math-y joke)
"There will be the coming of days. You believers will be integrated, you non-believers will be differentiated." He starts pointing at each passenger saying, "I integrate you! I differentiate you!" Everyone was scared but one man just sat there coolly with a grin...

Did you hear about the mathematician who got out of jail?

He's trying to integrate back into society, but you can still kinda differentiate him from others.

Calculus Joke

A mathematician goes a little wacky in the brain, so they put him in a Psychiatric Ward. While there, he realizes he can have a little bit of fun with the other patients. He walks up to one patient and says "Hey, get out of my face before I differentiate you!" Terrified, the mental patient runs away...

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