They don’t like to integrate.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

(Mild swearing at the end)

A young man from the depths of Siberia, Dmitri, moves to America hoping to start a new life. He buys a nice apartment, lives comfortably and integrates himself into the community, as a fine, upstanding citizen of New York.

6 or 7 months later, his old friends...

A young man from the depths of Siberia, Dmitri, moves to America hoping to start a new life. He buys a nice apartment, lives comfortably and integrates himself into the community, as a fine, upstanding citizen of New York.

6 or 7 months later, his old friends...

The polynomials are dancing, the square root function is drinking, yet the exponential function remains to the side.

so the inverse function asks what's wrong.

To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.

(courtesy ...

so the inverse function asks what's wrong.

To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.

(courtesy ...

Two guys immigrate to Alabama and decide to have a small bet regarding which one of them can integrate better. They decide to meet in one year to decide the results.

After one year they meet up and the first guy goes: ''Every sunday I go to church and then Walmart. I only eat chicken, shrimps...

After one year they meet up and the first guy goes: ''Every sunday I go to church and then Walmart. I only eat chicken, shrimps...

They seem too derivative.

Unfortunately, After every time we ∫e^x I am left with an e^x

But none are telling me what the limits the integrations are, or the what the parameters are, hell I don't even know which function to integrate.

I guess I have my limits

This joke comes from my father, who taught at a mostly black high school

During a calculus lecture:

"Can someone come to the board and integrate this?" he says, pointing to an equation

He looks around, wondering why no one has answered

Once again, he asks "Can someone com...

During a calculus lecture:

"Can someone come to the board and integrate this?" he says, pointing to an equation

He looks around, wondering why no one has answered

Once again, he asks "Can someone com...

Their currency is called the ✓

On startup it performed a self diagnostic test.

Turns out, it's cancer.

Turns out, it's cancer.

They think it will help the inmates turn their lives around.

He remembered to add the sea.

No matter how you try to differentiate them or integrate them. They remain the same.

I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imag...

A programmer walks into a coffee shop on his lunch break with his pet, a black Labrador. He comes in with a scowl on his face and a furrowed brow, his expression showing a frustrated yet pensieve look about him. He asks for a plain, black coffee.

The barista compassionately eyed the man fo...

The barista compassionately eyed the man fo...

The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."

The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a v...

The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a v...

x and x^2 noticed e^x has been standing in the same corner since they arrived.

x asked "Why don't you go mix in with the crowd?"

e^x replied "Well, no matter how much I integrate it's still the same!"

x asked "Why don't you go mix in with the crowd?"

e^x replied "Well, no matter how much I integrate it's still the same!"

Everyone is there, x^2, sinx, cosx.

e^x is sitting in the corner crying. they ask "him why are you crying? Why don't you integrate yourself?"

e^x looks up and says, "It wont make a difference."

e^x is sitting in the corner crying. they ask "him why are you crying? Why don't you integrate yourself?"

e^x looks up and says, "It wont make a difference."

They don't know how to integrate.

and all the functions are invited. Some of them are radical, at least 1/3 of them are rational, and like all parties, there are a few odd ones talking to their imaginary friends. Amidst all of this revelry, ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend e^x sulking in a corner.

...

...

There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

If I integrated a gym into my liquor store.

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

What a fine example of an integrated community

But I teach calculus to international students at my local university, and they all integrate really well.

... 2^x and 3^x notice that their friend e^x is standing alone in a corner looking kinda sad. They decide to approach him and try to convince him to have a little fun with the other Functions, but he refuses.

So 2^x asks him:

"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"

To which ...

So 2^x asks him:

"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"

To which ...

"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!"

So everybody gets scared and runs away.

Only one person stays.

The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!"

And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

So everybody gets scared and runs away.

Only one person stays.

The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!"

And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."

It is black and white so they won't integrate

His choices are a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer.

His test is simple: Whoever can determine the volume of a red rubber ball will be the new chief advisor, provided his explanation makes sense to the king, and that the king can trust the calculation.

The physicist goes firs...

His test is simple: Whoever can determine the volume of a red rubber ball will be the new chief advisor, provided his explanation makes sense to the king, and that the king can trust the calculation.

The physicist goes firs...

Sine approaches cosine and says, "Hey, what's ln(x) doing over in the corner by himself?". Cosine responds, "You see, ln(x) doesn't integrate very well".

You integrate it

Especially when they heard in Calculus they'd have to integrate.

A customer asks the owner:

“How do you plan to differentiate from other burger restaurants?”

The owner replies and says:

“I integrate instead.”

“How do you plan to differentiate from other burger restaurants?”

The owner replies and says:

“I integrate instead.”

...and it's a big party. All of the functions are there, having a great time. Except e^x is off in the corner, all by himself, looking rather glum. So x^2, being the nice guy walks up to e^x and he says "Hey e^x, why don't you integrate yourself into the party?". And e^x hangs his head and says with...

(Warning: this is a math-y joke)

"There will be the coming of days. You believers will be integrated, you non-believers will be differentiated." He starts pointing at each passenger saying, "I integrate you! I differentiate you!" Everyone was scared but one man just sat there coolly with a grin...

"There will be the coming of days. You believers will be integrated, you non-believers will be differentiated." He starts pointing at each passenger saying, "I integrate you! I differentiate you!" Everyone was scared but one man just sat there coolly with a grin...

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