As an immigrant, I hear a lot of people telling me to integrate ...
But none are telling me what the limits the integrations are, or the what the parameters are, hell I don't even know which function to integrate.
When I integrate I don't add the constant
I guess I have my limits
Can someone integrate this equation?
This joke comes from my father, who taught at a mostly black high school
During a calculus lecture:
"Can someone come to the board and integrate this?" he says, pointing to an equation
He looks around, wondering why no one has answered
Once again, he asks "Can someone com...
Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.
Their currency is called the ✓
Religions are like e^x.
No matter how you try to differentiate them or integrate them. They remain the same.
WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind.
On startup it performed a self diagnostic test.
Turns out, it's cancer.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he thankfully recalled his Calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Prisons nationwide have integrated the Hokey-Pokey into their physical education program.
They think it will help the inmates turn their lives around.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Joke about Silicon Integraded Systems (super dark) (not funny)
"*if i was in a room, with a pistol with 2 bullets, and in this room there were, Hitler, Stalin and a SIS Integrated GPU, i woud shoot the SIS card 2 times*"
Why was e^x so lonely at the party?
Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.
[OC] A programmer walks into a coffee shop
A programmer walks into a coffee shop on his lunch break with his pet, a black Labrador. He comes in with a scowl on his face and a furrowed brow, his expression showing a frustrated yet pensieve look about him. He asks for a plain, black coffee.
The barista compassionately eyed the man fo...
I found out my friend is addicted to math.
I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imag...
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.
The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."
The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a v...
e^x, x and x^2 went to a party.
x and x^2 noticed e^x has been standing in the same corner since they arrived.
x asked "Why don't you go mix in with the crowd?"
e^x replied "Well, no matter how much I integrate it's still the same!"
There is a big function party
Everyone is there, x^2, sinx, cosx. e^x is sitting in the corner crying. they ask "him why are you crying? Why don't you integrate yourself?"
e^x looks up and says, "It wont make a difference."
You know what would really lift my spirits these days?
If I integrated a gym into my liquor store.
Why is the south bad at calculus?
They don't know how to integrate.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A black guy, Jew and a homosexual walks into the bar
What a fine example of an integrated community
All the mathematical functions went to a party...
There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself
They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"
To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"
ln(x) is hosting a calculus party....
and all the functions are invited. Some of them are radical, at least 1/3 of them are rational, and like all parties, there are a few odd ones talking to their imaginary friends. Amidst all of this revelry, ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend e^x sulking in a corner. ...
Some people are sceptical of migrants because they think they don't embrace their new country's culture
But I teach calculus to international students at my local university, and they all integrate really well.
At a Mathematical Functions party...
... 2^x and 3^x notice that their friend e^x is standing alone in a corner looking kinda sad. They decide to approach him and try to convince him to have a little fun with the other Functions, but he refuses. So 2^x asks him:
"Come on man try to have some fun, integrate!"
To which ...
A guy gets on a bus and starts threatening everybody:
"I'll integrate you! I'll differentiate you!" So everybody gets scared and runs away. Only one person stays. The guy comes up to him and says: "Aren't you scared, I'll integrate you, I'll differentiate you!" And the other guy says: "No, I am not scared, I am e^x."
Why will the south never know the area of a chess board.
It is black and white so they won't integrate
A king is looking for a new chief advisor.
His choices are a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer. His test is simple: Whoever can determine the volume of a red rubber ball will be the new chief advisor, provided his explanation makes sense to the king, and that the king can trust the calculation.
The physicist goes firs...
How do you use calculus in real life?
You integrate it
Sine, cosine and ln(x) are at a party
Sine approaches cosine and says, "Hey, what's ln(x) doing over in the corner by himself?". Cosine responds, "You see, ln(x) doesn't integrate very well".
A mathematician opens a burger restaurant in a city already filled with burger restaurants...
A customer asks the owner:
“How do you plan to differentiate from other burger restaurants?”
The owner replies and says:
“I integrate instead.”
White folk hate math.
Especially when they heard in Calculus they'd have to integrate.
Sod's law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Moore's law: The complexity of integrated circuits doubles every 24 months.
Campbell's law: The more any quantitative social indicator is used for social decision making, the more subject it will be to corruption pressures and the more apt it will be to distort and corrupt the social processe...
Two functions walk into a function bar...
...and it's a big party. All of the functions are there, having a great time. Except e^x is off in the corner, all by himself, looking rather glum. So x^2, being the nice guy walks up to e^x and he says "Hey e^x, why don't you integrate yourself into the party?". And e^x hangs his head and says with...
A crazy man walks on to a bus and starts repeating,
(Warning: this is a math-y joke) "There will be the coming of days. You believers will be integrated, you non-believers will be differentiated." He starts pointing at each passenger saying, "I integrate you! I differentiate you!" Everyone was scared but one man just sat there coolly with a grin...