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Dating Website Jokes

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I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website.

That lying bitch isn't, "Fun to be around."

My job is hosting a dating website for insects…….

Don’t judge me. I’m just trying to make ants meet

A new dating website has been taking Alabama by storm...

It's pretty uncommon in other places, so you may have heard of it. It's called OnlyFams.

Just been banned from a Christian dating website.

Apparently "Hung_Like_Jesus" isn't an appropriate user name!

What is Josh Duggar's second favorite dating website after Ashley-Madison?

Ancestry.com

What do you call a dating website for QAnon believers?

Qpid

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BTW it's about Cupid not stupid, just in case anyone gets offended lmao

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woman posts on dating website...

... what's she's looking for perfect husband who wouldn't run away from her, wouldn't beat her, and would be amazing in bed.

Week later, she hears someone's ringing the door, and as she opens it, she sees young man in wheelchair, but he has no arms or legs.

Confused, woman asks *"What ...

My friend and his wife found each other on a dating website,

Three years after marriage. That was awkward.

A man with a speech impediment goes on a dating website..

This dating website has you make a short video for your profile to introduce yourself, so the man makes his video and says "Hi my name's Daniel and im Deaf"

The man successfully scores a date with a woman who happens to know sign language

That night he shows up to the date and to his d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I joined a Dating website the other day,

they asked me what i was interested in,so i wrote,

'Page 3 girls, I think they're really sexy'.

I wondered why i hadn't had any responses until i realised the letter 'P' on my keyboard wasn't working

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man, I got banned from a dating website because I broke the "no dicks, boobs or asshole pictures" rule.

I didn't notice Trump on TV in the background.

I just started a non-cis dating website.

You know. For people interested in Trans-Specific Partnerships.

Farmers Only is the dating website for farmers. What’s the hook-up site?

Timber

I was looking for a dating website with lots of Christians

So I joined Ashley Madison

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The three main criteria for dating websites are as follows

-Age

-Sex

-Location

But I think this needs to change badly, as I personally don’t condone under-age sex

I'm going to create a dating Website for people with incurable STD's to find each other.

It will be named 2 Herpes in a Pod

Did you hear about the lonely cow that joined a dating website?

She was searching for her udder half.

Did you know there is a dating website for amphetamine addicts?

Speeddating.com

I have a delivery van set as my profile picture on dating websites.

I just want the ladies to know what they’re getting into.

A women stopped me in the coffee shop the other day claiming she met me through a vegetarian-only dating website...

but I had never met herbivore.

The reality of dating....

Young kids use a dating app on their phone.

Older kids use a dating website on their computers.

Adults use a matchmaking service to get dates.

Senior citizens meet potential dates at church events.

Anyone older than that will have to resort to carbon dating.

cheekens

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "So, what have you been up to lately?" the bartender asks him. "Well, I recently set up a dating website for chickens," the guy tells him. "I mean, its not my main job ... I'm just doing it to make hens meet."

(NSFW) A redneck bought a computer and he was trying to browse internet with his friend.

They came across a shopping website which they mistook for a dating website and went to the lingerie section .

After a long selection, his friend said " look this woman wearing red lingerie is really gorgeous and is only $49.99. order her" .

So he went and ordered it .

2 weeks l...

My 13 year old told me this joke....

Him: I want to start a dating website for Indians....
Me: a dating website for indians? [scratching my head wtf]
Him: yeah I am going to call it connect the dots.

Dating Developers

D1: Hey did you tried that dating website I suggested?
D2: Yep, It sucked.
D1: Why you didn't get any interesting matches.
D2: No, I got many matches, but the website was developed in php.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dating

Q. What do you call a pretty girl in England?
A. A tourist.

I keep having my profile on that dating website "Match.com" rejected. One of the questions is, "What do you want in a woman?" Apparently, "My dick" is not an acceptable answer.

Q. Whats the difference between an Italian gir...

[Long] Trying to find a date had been really difficult for me recently

I’d been having some mental health issues lately and so my doctor prescribed me with some pills to help treat them. Unfortunately they had the unavoidable side affect of making me hallucinate.

My daily routine didn’t change that much, but it did have a huge affect on my dating game. Every da...

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