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Vote In Jokes

The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

A vegan bitcoin investor who owns a Tesla, does CrossFit, and refused to vote in the last election walks into a bar

The real question is, what he’s going to bring up first?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler, Salin, and EA were having a debate

"Who amongst us is the most hated?" Hitler asked

Stalin said "It is I, the Soviet Union killed more people than even you, Hitler!"

EA says "NONSENSE! I've ruined dozens of game franchises. I am the most hated!"

Hitler said "Why don't we hold a vote in hell and see who is the mo...

A vegan, a bitcoin trader and someone who didn’t vote in 2016 all walk into a bar.

Who tells you about it first?

I’m nineteen and won’t vote in this upcoming election. Here’s why:

I’m Swedish

Kanye West Concedes After Failing to Get 0.5% of Vote in Early Returns

Now he is an electoral college drop out

Everybody should be free to vote in a general election. Everybody should be free to vote in the X factor.

Nobody should be able to vote in both.

I was going to vote in the primary, but I got to the polling place late...

....and I just had to sit in my car until my favorite song, "Tom Sawyer," ended.

But by the time I exited the vehicle, it was too late for me to enter the polling place. I'm really frustrated because it's not the first time that has happened to me.

I'm so sick of Rush's interference i...

Using a pencil to vote in the 2015 General Election...

As safe an option as letting Jimmy Saville volunteer in a Kids Hospital.

So this farmer named Juan wants to run for city council.

He notices his small town is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

So Juan runs for city council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don...

Many Puerto Ricans are becoming Russian citizens...

so that they can vote in the American election.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ten Lines to Get You Out of Jury Duty

1. I can tell if people are guilty just by looking at them.

2. I am really attracted to you, Your Honor.

3. If a police officer told me I was a bug, I'd believe him

4. I think laws are for sissies.

5. Would I have to bathe?

6. Can each of my personalities vote in t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Trumpcare will make health insurance harder for the working class & will give the super-rich a huge tax cut, but hey it's time to look at the bright side.

Those old cunts who voted for Trump won't be alive to vote in the 2020 election.

We finally have definitive proof that Osama bin Laden is dead.

He just registered to vote in Chicago.

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