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Voting Jokes

What’s a horse’s primary concern when voting?

A stable economy.

What’s it called when you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results?

Voting.

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Voting is like doing a group project in school

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up

I got a voting booth to decorate my house today

it really polls the room together

Apparently loads of people turned away from voting for Trump coz he wanted to ban shredded cheese

He wanted to Make America Grate again.

With so many posts online telling me to vote, I kinda feel bad for not voting today

And I'm not even an American.

Monica Lewinsky isn't voting for Hillary.

The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

Report: Trump endorses all-mail voting

Correction: Male voting, Trump endorses all-male voting.

Voting is a lot like driving

To go backwards, choose “R”.

To go forward, choose “D”.

I told a man I was voting third party

He said, "That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"

"Simple," I replied, "I'd pick the bullet."

My voting machine broke in my voting booth today...

I guess you could say it had electile dysfunction.

Republicans declared they're against mail-in voting.

So Democrats went postal.

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Voting in America is like cleaning up after your dog...

No one wants to deal with that shit, but it's your duty.

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I'm not voting for Biden or Trump...

**....I own a cat and spend enough time checking boxes for pieces of shit.**

Voting results have just been certified at my house

My wife will remain in charge for another four years

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Voting booths are like brothels

You have to decide which ass you want.

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I'm voting my fridge for president.

Because America needs to chill the fuck out.

Voting this year feels like I’m at a grocery store

And I have to pick between an orange and a vegetable

Why are voting results inaccurate in Afghanistan?

It's because of the tally ban.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s common between owning a cat and voting?

Checking a box for a piece of shit.

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

After early voting today, I stopped off in the men's restroom...

Some pervert stood right next to me at the stall and was eyeballing my junk!

It's ok though, he said he was an OFFICIAL pole watcher.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

voting

Voting is compulsory in Australia. But sometimes politicians complain when people mess up their ballot papers.

Last time I wrote "you fuckers ruined the country" on mine.

Not sure which party will honestly try to claim that vote.

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Always ask "are you voting for Sanders?" before sex.

If they say "yes" you know they are too young.

Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car....

'D' to go forward.

'R' to go reverse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

How does a ghost woman scare her victims?

With her boooooobies


Sorry, wanted to share this awful pun-joke. It's amazing!

EDIT: Thanks for voting this up to hot! Have a lovely and scary Halloween!
Take care everyone!

Florida voting recount has finally been completed.

Turns out the winner was actually Al Gore.

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by casting a vote on what movie to watch and pizza to order.

And then I picked the movie and pizza I wanted because they're not at voting age.

I am voting for Donald Trump because he will personally end racism in America...

Racism can't exist if everybody's white.

What did Donald Trump say to his wife Melania in the voting booth?

Don't copy Michelle on this one.

Why I won’t be voting for Trump or Biden

I’m Indian

What's the biggest drawback to voting by mail?

Postage from Russia will cost a fortune!

Two schoolgirls are talking about who to vote for Class President.

"I'm voting for Mark. He's so dreamy!"

"I'm not voting for that big horndog. Every time he sees me he gets turned on. He tries to act like it's not happening, but it's pretty obvious."

"So?"

"I'm not voting for an erection denier."

What do you call a group of shorebirds voting for their shared interests?

A bloc of seagulls.

I have to say after watching the impeachment voting...

This has to be the most interesting season of the apprentice yet!

George Soros is a big reason im voting for Hillary!

His voting machines didn't really give me a choice.

Voting in the election is similar to this sub

the same speech will win, but there’s always a different face to it

What's the most important thing for a horse when voting?

A stable economy

If I were American, I'd vote Bernie...

But I'm Russian, so I'm voting Trump

60+ days off work, gas prices at an all time low, $1200... I know who I'm voting for...

Coronavirus for president!

Breaking News: Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory.

The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.

Why are so many online nerds voting far-right?

They are terrible at socializing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The voting age should be the same as the age of consent

If the government can fuck me I should be able to vote

Mr Trump, the American people will be voting soon...what do you think of the ballots ?

"I much prefer faster songs ."

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