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Reporter: what are your views on nine eleven?

Me: Its a fun thing. The driver needs to be skilled tho. My favourite is twin t..

Reporter: hold the fuck up

Me: twin t... Twin turbo one with the flat head.

Reporter: Oh.... Fuckin petrolhead

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a ₹500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.

My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.

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How can a black man change a republican politician's views on abortion?

Get his wife pregnant

A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."


His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"


The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te...

What are your views on abortion?

Me: It really brings out the kid in you.

People thought Trump getting infected would change his views on Covid...

...I guess he is asympathetic.

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I cant decide my views on masturbation. On one hand, it feels good

On the other hand it feels even better

What are my views on Russia and China? Well...

[redacted]

My life used to centre on math, additions and subtractions until I found a quote that expanded my worldview

"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 20 years of his life."

A comment following the video of two different camera views of the guy falling off that drone motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: a guy walks into a bar....

....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...

A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t t...

Did you see the reviews for the restaurant on the moon?

Great view, but no atmosphere.

Quick tip on how to get lots of views on your Reddit posts

Label it NSFW and repost (credit to a dozen other people)

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Pornhub promised to plant 1 tree for every 100 views. Guess what I will do.

I will single handedly save the plant.

Why do Redditor love Nikola Tesla?

Because Tesla is how every Redditor views themselves. An undervalued, unappreciated genius who had an Edison in their life that stole everything from them.

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

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What do you call a homosexual supreme ruler with neither conservative nor liberal views?

Mod Czar Gay

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One day a new stage play was released that was supposed to be the #1 comedy of the year.

Unfortunately from the get go it had poor reviews frequently stating that it just wasn't that funny. The writer of the script was at a loss and was getting ready to cancel the show when his friend called.

He told him he had just watched the show and true to the reviews it was pretty terrible...

What's the difference between skateboard tricks and my political views?

Nothing, people call them "sick" and "radical".

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A young lady approaches a priest

A young lady approaches a priest and asks him, "Father, what are the Church's views on fellatio?" The priest was confused for a second and replied, "I'd love to tell you, but unfortunately, I do not know what fellatio is." The lady demonstrates and the priest is slightly taken aback.


A f...

The “Avengers: Endgame” trailer had 289 million views in 24 hours.

It would have been 578 million views, but...

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

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A joke that’s got me various death threats

So there was a horse, and this horse was really talented. He was great on guitar. One day he found himself watching youtube and stumbled upon a Jimi Hendrix song which inspired him to start a cover. He practised this cover really hard, eventually becoming inspired to create a cover of a whole Jimi H...

Enjoying the views...

You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?

Me: Yes, it was amazing.

You: Did you enjoy the views?

Me: Mmm...No.

You: Why?

Me: The Mountains blocked the view.

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