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Views Jokes

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I'm paid to travel

You should see my my dates' faces when I tell them I'm a bus driver!

A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."


His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"


The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was asked what my views on pornography were.

I said, "I dunno, rough math maybe 2,500?"

A daughter asks her father, “Dad, what are your views on abortion?”

Her father replies, “Why don’t you ask your sister.”

Daughter replies, “But I don’t have a sister….. oh”

Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people

And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub promised to plant 1 tree for every 100 views. Guess what I will do.

I will single handedly save the plant.

What do you call a vegan who tries to push their views?

Sheriff of Not-Eating Ham

Did you hear about the bar for West African bookstore workers with anti government views?

Liberian Libertarian Librarian Libations

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Facebook views Reddit the same way newlyweds view child mine workers

They don't like to aknowledge their existence even though they're responsible for most of the cool shit they show off to their friends

Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 cases of Red Bull

I don't know how these people sleep at night

The “Avengers: Endgame” trailer had 289 million views in 24 hours.

It would have been 578 million views, but...

Have you heard about the political party that’s using really good weed to promote their political views and opinions?

It’s propaganja.

I posted my anti-covid-vaccine views in r/changemyview...

I was rewarded with a delta.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can a black man change a republican politician's views on abortion?

Get his wife pregnant

What are your views on abortion?

Me: It really brings out the kid in you.

Enjoying the views...

You: So..did you enjoy your trip to the Swiss Alps?

Me: Yes, it was amazing.

You: Did you enjoy the views?

Me: Mmm...No.

You: Why?

Me: The Mountains blocked the view.

What are your views on school?

Well, it is an FPS.

What are my views on Russia and China? Well...

[redacted]

Four Different Views Of Life

One day, three friends went walking on a train track stumbled upon a tunnel (mind you, the first is an Optimist, the second a Realist, and the third a Pessimist). The Optimist says,
“Fellas, lets go through this tunnel! C’mon it’ll be fun!”
The other two roll their eyes and agree. About halfw...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I cant decide my views on masturbation. On one hand, it feels good

On the other hand it feels even better

Men and women have two distinct views about weddings.

The husband-to-be wakes up in the morning, plays a round of golf and counts the minutes until he has to be at the altar.
The wife-to-be, on the other hand, wakes up in the morning and is panicking. She immediately begins to organize things, making sure everything is in proper order. In her mind ...

What do you call a cushion with transcendentalist views?

A Thoreau pillow.

Quick tip on how to get lots of views on your Reddit posts

Label it NSFW and repost (credit to a dozen other people)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a homosexual supreme ruler with neither conservative nor liberal views?

Mod Czar Gay

What were the political views of the librarian?

She wanted open borders.

What are the Muppet's views on the paranormal?

"It's a phenomena (do doo do doodoo)"

4 different views of a tunnel

PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel.
REALIST: A train.
TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.

Avengers endgame trailer becomes most viewed trailer in history with 289M views in 24 hours ...

This could have been double only if Thanos had not snapped his fingers

Meanwhile in 2020, as the song "Despacito" rises in popularity around the world, it has exceeded the world population in views.

-Meanwhile at school-

Teacher: What’s the population of the world?

Student: 1.5 despacitoes.

Teacher: correct

My opinion on mediums where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged?

I'm forum.

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