“Congratulations! You’ve just blown up The Bachelorette!”
Now that she’s fully inflated, she’s ready for your date night!
I was invited to a preview for a musical about the late Billy Mays
It was alright, but the lead was kind of pitchy.
When I was a boy, sometime in the mid-90s, I had absolutely zero friends. My concerned mother brought in the neighbor kids for a dreaded 'play date'..
It started out just awful. Everyone ignored me and horsed around. Once they started trying to wreck my moms furniture, I had to take out my secret weapon.
My dad had scored an early VHS release of the last years most popular movie. I could have been the only one in the country with this mo...
Did you see the preview for the new Stephen King movie?
I’m excited to see It
A man walks into a bar in New Orleans
He sits down next to a man in a jacket. Both of them are watching a preview of the upcoming nfc championship. They both start debating over who will win, and the debate turns into an argument. The man says “100 bucks my saints win!” “Your on” replied the man as he unzipped his coat to reveal black a...
How i out dad joked my dad...
So the preview for some time traveling movie comes on tv and my dad goes "if you ever find a time machine remember not to use it," somehow thinking it's funny.
I'm ashamed to say the first thing out of my mouth was "seems like a great way to pass the time."
One time I took a blonde girl to the movies...
We bought our tickets and waited in line for snacks. I got popcorn; she got M&M's. We got a drink to split.
We sat down during the previews. I started eating my popcorn and she opened her M&M's and dumped them all out in her lap. She carefully separated them all by color, took all the...
Bob made metal nails for all need and uses. For woodworking or construction, his nails where the best and he wanted to make a TV commercial to promote them.
So he went to a studio to get his commercial made. There he gave an idea of how he wanted his commercial "I want it to be epic and persu...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The Donut Joke
There was once an unemployed donut named Bob. Luckily for him, a pirate ship sailed into the port that day. He went to the captain of the ship and said, “Can I work on your ship?” The captain said “No.” The donut went home all sad and depressed. The next day, he went back to the captain. “Can I work...