How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We don't screw in light bulbs. We screw in hot tubs
A crime at the movie theater
A police detective walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Just got done investigating a burglary at the local movie theater," the detective tells the bartender. "They lost almost $10,000." "That's horrible," the bartender says. "Did they get the cash register?" "No," the detective replies. "Just three...
vampires use
bat tubs
Stephen Sondheim, John Madden, and Betty White walk up to the Pearly Gates
And St. Peter says, "We're pretty full, so we're making people pass additional tests. I know this is going to sound weird, but God has been hanging out with Chuck Yeager this week, and he's only letting in people who have a connection to Jets." All three sets of eyes light up.
Sondheim step...
I'm eating mostly whole foods lately
Whole pizzas, whole cheeseburgers, whole tubs of ice cream...
1 joke is hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
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