Went to Jail for the first time and found out that what they say about dropping the soap is just a myth

I held on to that soap for dear life and it turns out they rape you anyway

If a deaf kid swears in sign language,

does his mom wash his hands with soap?

I used to be heavily addicted to soap...

Don’t worry, I’m clean now.

What kind of soap does a dolphin use?

All porpoise cleaner!!!!

I first became addicted to soap 2 years ago

But I'm clean now...

What is the difference between a nun praying and a nun in the bath?

Ones got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.

Are you a bar of soap?

Because while you may be clean, you’re still basic as hell.

Two priests are in a shower.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three newly inducted nuns from o...

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A group of thieves stole everything except for my soap.

Dirty bastards...

My friend said he doesn't believe that soap works.

He said it was all a lye.

Why should you never trust what it says on a bar of soap?

They always lye.

They arrested the overweight soap maker

Apparently he was a big fat lyer.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two monks are taking a shower together.

Suddenly one of the monks notices that they forgot the soap. So he leaves the shower and runs to his room completely naked to grab some soap.

Once he's got the soap and is walking back he hears three nuns approaching.

Terrified that they might recognize him he freezes and pretends to b...

Don’t you hate it when your bar of soap breaks in half while using it in the shower?

Especially when one half is stuck in your ass.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Ok, I admit it! I masturbate with soap...

That’s me coming clean.

There was once a soap opera called "Touched By An Angle"

but most episodes just went off on tangents

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So robbers broke into my house and stole all the soap,

Dirty bastards, but than the cops came and did a full report. The cops said they got away clean.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

Did you hear about the bandit that stole a truck of soap?

Police say he made a clean getaway.

I made a rap song all about soap.

It’s fine, the lyrics are clean.

If you ever find yourself in prison, don't drop the soap.

It's full of criminals and you may not get it back.

Virginity is like a soap bubble

One prick and it's gone.

When You Drop The Soap...

...is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

Singing in the shower is all fun and games till you get soap in your mouth

Then it’s a soap opera

You know the difference between a woman attending Sunday morning mass and a woman taking a Friday night bath?

One has hope in her soul; the other has soap in her hole.

Why didn't the store let the man return the hand soap he'd purchased?

It was anti-back-to-retail soap.

What is a bull fighters favorite soap?


Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap on their ship/boats?

Its harder to pick up.


What do you call a British soap opera that's been re-named after a successful invasion by ISIS?

Middle East-Enders

Why aren't the people eating laundry soap injecting it instead?

Seems like it'd be a little Tidier

Marriage is like a bar of soap...

It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it

There is a reason why I store the soap away when I sing in the shower

Otherwise it would be a soap opera

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now... (more)

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.

My friends say I drink too much brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

I'm hooked on deli sandwiches, but I've decided I'm going to quit cold turkey.

My girlfriend used to be a nun, but she dropped the h...

Why do prisoners prefer liquid soap?

Takes longer to pick up

Which bath time toy steals your soap?

The Robber Ducky

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Man sentenced to five years for masturbating with soap in public.

Came clean in court.

A soap bar was trying to console another soap bar

Soap1- *crying uncontrollably*

Soap2- Stop crying, I know you're acting

Soap1- it's the glycerin

I almost dropped the soap bar in the shower

Good thing my uncle was there too to catch it

What do you get if you eat soap?


I'll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap....

...but its quite difficult to grasp.

what do apples, dish washer soap, the muppets, a black guy, beer, yankee candels, and the keyboard on a flip phone all have in common?

they all help make a really convoluted joke.

What's Sigmund Freud's favorite soap opera?

The Jung and the Restless

My wife uses an entire bottle of dish soap when she washes the dishes every night.

Another day, another Dawn

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

The woman seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, runni...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear about the guy that was accused of using his boss's hand soap as lube for masturbating?

He came clean.