A truck driver was transporting 100 penguins from Melbourne to Perth when he breaks down in the middle of the desert...

A mechanic takes a look and tells the truckie that the repair will take at least two days. He knows that the penguins won't survive in the heat for that long so he flags down a passing truck and offers the driver $5000 to take the penguins to the Perth zoo for him.
A few days later the repairs ar...

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The Aquarium [NSFW]

So this guy who works in an aquarium gets summoned by his boss, who says to him: "I just walked by the dolphin tank and they're feeling very amorous. They're doing all sorts of things to each other. In two hours we've got three bus loads of second graders coming, and we can't have them watching thos...

If an aeroplane is transporting 100 bricks, and one falls out, how many bricks are left?

Ninety nine.

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What are the three steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Put the elephant in
3. Close the door

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What are the four steps to putting a horse in the fridge?

1. Open the door
2. Take the elephant out
...

My wife said I was overconfident by transporting Spanish desserts in the center console of my car. I didn't care.

But then the shift hit the flan.

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What do you call a cocky Chinese person transporting drugs abroad?

Smug Lin.

A truck transporting cheese in France got into an accident and exploded

Da Brie is everywhere

A mailman was trying to tell a joke while transporting a package

But he messed up the delivery

A scientist was studying life extending properties through diet...

And realized he had the perfect formula for eternal life. He developed a special food formula which he fed to seagulls. Then he would feed their eggs to a pair of dolphins.

After 10 years on a diet of fortified seagull eggs, the dolphins hadn't aged a day. But there was one problem. Th...

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A Science-Minded Deviant

There's this scientist that loves dolphins. He loves dolphins so much, he wants to figure out a way to make them live forever. For years he slaves away in his basement laboratory, and he believes that he has found a compound that when given to dolphins, will make them live forever. The only probl...

I used to have a job transporting addicts to the nearby rehab clinic.

But I got fired because too many of my passengers fell off the wagon.

A cargo airplane is transporting patients from a mental hospital.

The patients are going all crazy in the cargo playing a soccer with an invisible ball. The pilot has had enough of it, tells the copilot to guide the plane, and goes in the back to make them stop the noise. They stop, the pilot returns to the cabin, but after 5 minutes, it starts all over again.
...

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Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they've been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it's a joke.

"We'll be a laughing stock" says the first sailor.

"I'll never be able to live ...

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Immortal porpoises

One day Timmy has had enough. He is completely burned out, so he decides to use his saved up vacation days to go hiking in the mountains. He packs his tent and all his camping gear, and starts driving.

After many hours of driving he finialy arrives. He puts his backpack on his back and hea...

Young Gulls

The dolphin trainers at the state zoo were very upset because the dolphins were very ill and getting worse. An animal shaman told them that he could not only cure the dolphins, but make them live forever--all he needed were some young sea gulls. The trainers immediately set off to find some young se...

Barrels

My brother-in-law owns a moving company. He told me that the other day he was hired to move a bunch of barrels.

Some of his employees were having trouble transporting them, so to make it easier, he told them to do a barrel roll.

A white guy, a black guy, and a Chinese guy go to work at a coal mine.

When they arrive the manager assigns each of them a task. The white guy, Frank, is in charge of digging. The black guy, Jamaal, is in charge of transportation. The Chinese guy, Wong, is in charge of supplies.

They get to work and everything is going smoothly. Frank is digging up the coal at...

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