UPJOKE
transportroadswater supplystructuresewagewatersystemtransportationconstructionbuildingsanitationbaseecosystemhousingpublic works

Sometimes I feel like America's infrastructure

Excessively damaged due to bad choices made decades ago and a lack of routine maintenance.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tale of Three Heavens

Once upon a time, long long ago, in village far far away, there lived a fairly affluent merchant who lived a nice luxurious life in his spacious mansion. The merchant befriended a homeless man who lived in front of the gates of his mansion and often gave him food.

One day, the merchant n...

I figured out why the right opposes an infrastructure bill;

the're afraid that if they take the lead out of the water no one will vote republican.

As part of his infrastructure plan, President Biden will be creating a new department to work with the Department of Defense

It will be called the Department of Degate

Should I do something about my fetish for infrastructure?

Or should I just cross that bridge when I come to it?

What do you call a guy that builds polite infrastructure projects?

A civil Engineer

What do the head of marketing for Metamucil and the head of Infrastructure at AT&T have in common?

Both are in charge of fiber optics.

What did the telecommunications infrastructure company director say in response to requests to alter his company's 5G network blueprint from government officials in order to satisfy privacy concerns?

It's my way or the Huawei

I want to tell a joke about infrastructure spending in the UK

but only people in London will get it.

An American and Mexican business men talk about getting rich

There is a conference in DC and a Mexican and American guy meet and talk about highway infrastructure projects. The American invites the Mexican to his home. They show up in a Cadillac where the American invites him inside and they go up to the second story balcony. He points below and says, see tha...

NEWS FLASH: Massive earthquake devastates Pakistan

I major earthquake hits pakistan causing massive damage and loss of lives. Early reports outline damage to infrastructure, roads, power and water supply. A horryfying number of confirmed casulties lists 1 million dead with many stilll unaccounted for.

The world leaders have come to togeth...

Donald Trump...

-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.
-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
-The rest of the world ...

Read this one online a while back

An engineer dies and goes to hell. At first, he's reluctant to come to terms with where he is.

The devil sees him, and says" Cheer up, hell isn't so bad. I'll prove it, you can have the best room in the house."

The engineer happily accepts and is led to something that looks like it was...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because America's aging infrastructure doesn't adequately provide footbridges or pedestrian underpasses.

Poseidon, Zeus, and Hades sit down for a drink.

They know that, because of those pesky humans, it will be their last meeting in a long time. Zeus is attempting to combat climate change, Poseidon is dealing with rampant pollution and rising sea levels, and Hades needs to update his infrastructure to deal with the massive influx of souls after WW3....

A Frenchman and an Ethiopian got into a heated argument.

The Frenchman said, "We have better food, wine, standard of living, transportation, infrastructure, economy, and GDP than you! What do you have? Nothing!"

The Ethiopian answered, "At least we didn't surrender to the Axis!"

Satan was severely depressed.

Fewer and fewer souls each new year were coming to hell and it was soon becoming quite empty. So Satan hired an analyst to find out what was going wrong. The analyst traveled all over hell, interviewed lesser demons, and surveyed the experiences of tortured souls, taking notes here and there. A week...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

International relations

The United Nations noticed that there was a lot of dissent among its ranks and relationships were strained. The UN leaders called a meeting and came up with a plan to increase morale that was discussed and agreed upon by all members.

The plan was to take a representative from three different...

There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy... (x-post /r/dadjokes)

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this sm...

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