Think About Jokes - 42 Hilarious Think About Jokes

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When you think about it, a vagina is a lot like a university.

They're both a lot easier to get into, if you're rich or an athlete.

What do Mexicans think about Trumps wall?

They'll get over it.

My wife broke up with me yesterday because I'm a compulsive gambler and ever since, all I can think about is...

...how to win her back.

As I am getting older, I start to think about all the people I’ve lost along the way..

and I came to the realization that maybe my career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

what did the king think about his couch?

he thought it was sofa-king comfortable.

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They say men think about sex every seven seconds.

That's why I eat my bananas in six. You know. So it's not awkward.

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What is the differences in what a mistress, a hooker, and a housewife think about during sex?

The whole time, the mistress is thinking, ”I wish this would last forever!”

The hooker is thinking, “Ten more minutes and this will all be over.”

And the housewife is thinking, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the kitchen beige.”

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Apparently, men think about sex every seven seconds...

I make sure I eat my hotdogs within 6 seconds so it doesn't get weird.

A friend asked me "What do you think about West Africa"

I said "I've never Benin there, but I want Togo there sometime. However, I don't know if I'm Ghana be able to do that, since it's quite expensive."

If you think about it, humans eat more bananas than monkeys

I mean have *you* ever eaten a monkey?

if i got a dollar for every time i think about you....

..i would start to think about you

I should really think about becoming a tightrope walker

Even the bank says my balance is outstanding!

When I hear people talking about water polo all I can think about is

Those poor horses.

What u think about our love?

boy: what u think about our love?

girl: try to count the stars in the sky.

boy: awww. . it's infinite?

girl: no darling! It's a

waste of time!

Whenever I make a decision, I think about what Stephen Hawking would do.

So every time my friend asks me if I want to go for a walk, I decline.

I think about dieting sometimes...

It takes a lot of weight off my mind.

whenever i think about buying a lottery ticket

i think about my ex and remember i don't know how to pick winners.

The more I think about it the more Murphy's law makes sense.

The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is indeed not to ask a question but to post the wrong answer.

What does a dyslexic, insomniac agnostic think about while he lies awake at night?

He is wondering if there is a dog.

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An American man went to his lawyer, pulled down his pants, started masturbating furiously and asked: "Doesn't this constitute free speech, if you think about it?"

"I see where you're coming from," replied the lawyer.

You know, if you think about it....

The ocean is just constsntly humping the earth until it caves.

The ending of Game of Thrones makes sense, think about it.

Arya went west, Jon went north, Drogon went east, and the show went south.

Sometimes, when I think about books

I touch my shelf

Think about it

The coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We're told no if we get too close to people. We get really excited for a car ride.

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Well, if ya think about it...

You get one of two reactions after sending someone a dick pick. It’s either:

“So long....” Or

“So long.”

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Today's young people only think about sex!

Says mom of nine.

If you think about it, getting killed by the Zodiac Killer must suck…

Because imagine living your entire life up to that point just to be killed for being a Virgo.

I’m looking for jokes that you have to work out. My favourite is the one in the below, which was posted here by another user. Does anyone else have any similar ones that you have to think about before finding the funny?

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

Mr. President, what do you think about the constitution?

"It's truly awesome. I defeated the virus in only four days and I feel better than 20 years ago."

If you think about it, walking is just falling

With extra steps!

One to think about.. Or not

What do you call a rich redhead?.. A Ginger Breadman

Think about this

AKA is also known as also known as

Why is it so easy to think about the Pacific?

Because it's a notion

Think about it...

...when you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.

When you think about it, almost all chickens that live are just..

Pretenders

if you think about it, the absolute best name for an anti-diarrhea medication has already been taken.

Gonorrhea

When you think about time on the cosmic scale, an infinitely expanding past and future...

60 seconds seems pretty minute.

A Duck was sitting on the side of the road, thinking about crossing it..

A chicken walks up to him and says, “don’t even think about it mate. You’ll never hear the end of it”

What did the sperm think about his chances of becoming a baby?

He thought it was inconceivable.

When you think about it, a blood cell’s life is truly futile...

After all, its whole life is lived in vein.

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English parlimentarians and pornstars are not so different when you think about it

What do pornstars and English parliamentarians have in common?

They both love to wake up to BBC

Chicken restaurants are pretty redundant when you think about it...

They just trade one type of tender for another.

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