UPJOKE
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What sound does a robot frog make?

Rivet Rivet

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.

It was riveting.

Not all construction work is created equal.

For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

I bought a book today about how to attach permanent metal fasteners.

It’s riveting.

I just saw a great documentary on how they built the Eiffel Tower.

I'm not gonna lie, it was riveting.

I once read a book on how the Titanic was built

It was riveting

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

riveting stuff really.

So I've been studying how metal joinery was done before welding was invented. Riveting stuff really.

Anyone else watch the documentary on the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge?

It was riveting

Ever seen a blacksmith join two metal sheets?

It's riveting

What does the frog blacksmith say?

Rivet.Rivet.Rivet.
Came to me when I was a blacksmith. Not sure if someone else already thought of it.

I watched a documentary on how they built the hull of the Titanic last night....

It was riveting.

An engineer is giving a lecture at the local college...

The lecture hall is completely full with a line out the door of people trying to get in. From the outside of the building the audience could be heard erupting with laughter, applause, oohs and aahs, and gasps of surprise.

A man walking by sees the line out the door and hears the commotion co...

Did you hear the one about the structural engineer's first day on the job?

It was riveting.

I was talking to my wife about permanent mechanical fasteners

She was riveted

What's the most exciting job on a construction site?

Riveting

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it! Screaming.

she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Involuntary Muscular Contractions"





A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions"to his first year medical students.Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.



He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, ...

Do you really enjoy joining pieces of sheet metal together all day long?

Yes, it's riveting.

I'm reading a book about shipbuilding

It's riveting

I introduced science and technology to the frogs in my neighborhood in an attempt to uplift their species.

All of my neighbors are mad at me now because now the frogs only say “rivet”.

I put a nut on a bolt today.

It was riveting.

Just watched a really interesting documentary about ship building.

Riveting.

Ever watch a documentary about joining steel together?

It can be riveting.

I watched a documentary on how they make boats.

It was rivetting

Today I was asked about my job manufacturing nuts and bolts

I told them it was quite riveting

I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts.....

The plot was riveting!

A young couple on holiday was driving through the English countryside

A young couple on holiday was driving through the English countryside when they approached the gates of a monastery. A sign on the gates announced “Public lunch served daily. Fish and chips our speciality.” The couple were quite hungry and, seeing that the noon hour had just passed, they decided to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bullfrog

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.

After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

Well, said the clerk, I have a very large bullfrog. The...

What did the mechanical frog say?

Rivet rivet.


Also a correction from before i^can^write^i^promse

I just read a book on how they join two boat panels together.

It was riveting!

My wife asked me if there was an interesting alternative to using screws or nails as fasteners.

I told her yes... and it's riveting.

Did you hear about Rosie's autobiography?

It was a rivetting tale.

Why did the airplane builder love his job?

Because every day was riveting.

What's a frog's preferred fastener?

Rivet.

I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers.

It's riveting.

Why is building a bridge better than building a tunnel?

One is riveting, the other is boring.

Why don't frogs use screws?

Because they prefer rrrrrivets.

*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*

What do you call a story about a WW2 shipyard?

A riveting tale.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in an empty bar.

The only other person in it besides the barkeep was this old man sitting at the other end. After a few minutes of silence, he looks up and asks me, "Do you know what they call me?"

"No. What do they call you?"

"You see this bar here? Well I built it. Cut the lumber and brought it over ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First submission to /jokes, and it's an old one about women making sandwiches.

Three riveters take their lunch break up on the rafters of a high rise. The first one opens his lunch pail and turns to the others, "Goddamn Ham & Swiss *again.* Fifteen years of marriage, and every day it's the same thing. I swear, if my wife makes me one more Ham & Swiss, I'm ending it....

My friend got a job fastening metal plates together. He hates it.

He says it's not fun or interesting, which I dont understand. I think his job is riveting.

How does a frog fasten two objects together?

Rivets.

I read a metalworking book on how to attach two pieces of sheet metal together.

The story was riveting.

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