Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.

For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions to his students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?

She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends."

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

I watched a documentary last night about how Levi's are made.

It was riveting.

What does a metal frog say?

Rivet.

Did you hear the one about the structural engineer's first day on the job?

It was riveting.

riveting stuff really.

So I've been studying how metal joinery was done before welding was invented. Riveting stuff really.

I once read a book on how the Titanic was built

It was riveting

I was talking to my wife about permanent mechanical fasteners

She was riveted

Did you see the show about metal fasteners?

It was riveting.

What's the most exciting job on a construction site?

Riveting

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a Trans-Atlantic Flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it! Screaming.

she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?" For a moment ...

An engineer is giving a lecture at the local college...

The lecture hall is completely full with a line out the door of people trying to get in. From the outside of the building the audience could be heard erupting with laughter, applause, oohs and aahs, and gasps of surprise.

A man walking by sees the line out the door and hears the commotion co...

Do you really enjoy joining pieces of sheet metal together all day long?

Yes, it's riveting.

I'm reading a book about shipbuilding

It's riveting

I put a nut on a bolt today.

It was riveting.

Just watched a really interesting documentary about ship building.

Riveting.

I introduced science and technology to the frogs in my neighborhood in an attempt to uplift their species.

All of my neighbors are mad at me now because now the frogs only say “rivet”.

Ever watch a documentary about joining steel together?

It can be riveting.

Today I was asked about my job manufacturing nuts and bolts

I told them it was quite riveting

I watched a documentary on how they make boats.

It was rivetting

I just read a book on how they join two boat panels together.

It was riveting!

A young couple on holiday was driving through the English countryside

A young couple on holiday was driving through the English countryside when they approached the gates of a monastery. A sign on the gates announced “Public lunch served daily. Fish and chips our speciality.” The couple were quite hungry and, seeing that the noon hour had just passed, they decided to ...

I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts.....

The plot was riveting!

My wife asked me if there was an interesting alternative to using screws or nails as fasteners.

I told her yes... and it's riveting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bullfrog

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.

After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

Well, said the clerk, I have a very large bullfrog. The...

Did you hear about Rosie's autobiography?

It was a rivetting tale.

What did the mechanical frog say?

Rivet rivet.


Also a correction from before i^can^write^i^promse

Why did the airplane builder love his job?

Because every day was riveting.

I was watching a video of some entry level iron workers.

It's riveting.

Why is building a bridge better than building a tunnel?

One is riveting, the other is boring.

Why don't frogs use screws?

Because they prefer rrrrrivets.

*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in an empty bar.

The only other person in it besides the barkeep was this old man sitting at the other end. After a few minutes of silence, he looks up and asks me, "Do you know what they call me?"

"No. What do they call you?"

"You see this bar here? Well I built it. Cut the lumber and brought it over ...

What's a frog's preferred fastener?

Rivet.

How does a frog fasten two objects together?

Rivets.

whats a frogs favorite type of metal joining practice?

A rivet

My friend got a job fastening metal plates together. He hates it.

He says it's not fun or interesting, which I dont understand. I think his job is riveting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First submission to /jokes, and it's an old one about women making sandwiches.

Three riveters take their lunch break up on the rafters of a high rise. The first one opens his lunch pail and turns to the others, "Goddamn Ham & Swiss *again.* Fifteen years of marriage, and every day it's the same thing. I swear, if my wife makes me one more Ham & Swiss, I'm ending it....

What do you call a story about a WW2 shipyard?

A riveting tale.

I read a metalworking book on how to attach two pieces of sheet metal together.

The story was riveting.

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