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Rivet Jokes

What does a metal frog say?

Rivet.

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

riveting stuff really.

So I've been studying how metal joinery was done before welding was invented. Riveting stuff really.

What sound does a robot frog make?

Rivet Rivet

what is a frog's favourite fastener?

Rivet

I just watched a two-hour documentary on how modern jetliners are manufactured.

It was riveting.

A frog applies for a construction job.

The engineer asks, "What can you do?"
"Rivet."

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.

For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does your ass hole do when you orgasm? (NSFW)

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.

Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know wha...

Have you ever considered a career in shipbuilding?

I heard it's riveting.

How was the robot frog held together?

Rivets.

I just saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.

It was riveting.

Did you see the show about metal fasteners?

It was riveting.

Ever seen a blacksmith join two metal sheets?

It's riveting

I just saw a great documentary on how they built the Eiffel Tower.

I'm not gonna lie, it was riveting.

An engineer is giving a lecture at the local college...

The lecture hall is completely full with a line out the door of people trying to get in. From the outside of the building the audience could be heard erupting with laughter, applause, oohs and aahs, and gasps of surprise.

A man walking by sees the line out the door and hears the commotion co...

Anyone else watch the documentary on the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge?

It was riveting

I bought a book today about how to attach permanent metal fasteners.

It’s riveting.

I watched a documentary on how they built the hull of the Titanic last night....

It was riveting.

Did you hear the one about the structural engineer's first day on the job?

It was riveting.

What's the most exciting job on a construction site?

Riveting

I introduced science and technology to the frogs in my neighborhood in an attempt to uplift their species.

All of my neighbors are mad at me now because now the frogs only say “rivet”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Feeling

On a flight to Japan, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.


Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she y...

Do you really enjoy joining pieces of sheet metal together all day long?

Yes, it's riveting.

I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts.....

The plot was riveting!

Just watched a really interesting documentary about ship building.

Riveting.

I put a nut on a bolt today.

It was riveting.

I watched a documentary on how they make boats.

It was rivetting

Ever watch a documentary about joining steel together?

It can be riveting.

Today I was asked about my job manufacturing nuts and bolts

I told them it was quite riveting

I just read a book on how they join two boat panels together.

It was riveting!

My wife asked me if there was an interesting alternative to using screws or nails as fasteners.

I told her yes... and it's riveting.

Did you hear about Rosie's autobiography?

It was a rivetting tale.

What do you call a story about a WW2 shipyard?

A riveting tale.

Why did the airplane builder love his job?

Because every day was riveting.

Why is building a bridge better than building a tunnel?

One is riveting, the other is boring.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bullfrog

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.

After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

Well, said the clerk, I have a very large bullfrog. The...

I read a metalworking book on how to attach two pieces of sheet metal together.

The story was riveting.

Why don't frogs use screws?

Because they prefer rrrrrivets.

*been using lots of rivets on a project lately when I came up with this awful dad-style joke. But I'm 40 and a dad so I'm a fully-licensed dad joker ."*

A young couple on holiday was driving through the English countryside

A young couple on holiday was driving through the English countryside when they approached the gates of a monastery. A sign on the gates announced “Public lunch served daily. Fish and chips our speciality.” The couple were quite hungry and, seeing that the noon hour had just passed, they decided to ...

My friend got a job fastening metal plates together. He hates it.

He says it's not fun or interesting, which I dont understand. I think his job is riveting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in an empty bar.

The only other person in it besides the barkeep was this old man sitting at the other end. After a few minutes of silence, he looks up and asks me, "Do you know what they call me?"

"No. What do they call you?"

"You see this bar here? Well I built it. Cut the lumber and brought it over ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First submission to /jokes, and it's an old one about women making sandwiches.

Three riveters take their lunch break up on the rafters of a high rise. The first one opens his lunch pail and turns to the others, "Goddamn Ham & Swiss *again.* Fifteen years of marriage, and every day it's the same thing. I swear, if my wife makes me one more Ham & Swiss, I'm ending it....

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