A random child is walking on the sidewalk. He stops, and beautifully sings, “A pore!”

Three years later, he is a star and is given an award. He gives a speech.
“Thank you, everyone. But mostly to my family. They told me we were going to Singapore, and I did. I just wonder why I’ve never seen them again...”

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I had 12 bottles of whisky in my basement.

However, my wife did not approve of this ownership of liquor, so she asked me to dispose of it in the sink. And since I didn't dare oppose her, I commenced my precarious mission thus:

I pulled the cork out of the first bottle, and poured the contents down the drain, except for one glass which...

A man owns a factory with his wife

Everything's running smoothly, production is typical.

And then the factory explodes.

"This is bad," his wife says, "We have to get this factory rebuilt. We have to get production back on schedule. How long is it going take?"

The man pores over the papers for a moment, types som...

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Three nuns perish in a bus crash...

...and are whisked straight to heaven.

St. Peter greets them at the gate with a warm welcome.

“Sisters, you have all three been paragons of the Catholic faith. The good Lord would like to bestow upon you one last day on earth as anyone you would like to be. Live for a day as whomever y...

What did the zit say to the other zit while they were making love?

Yeah you like that you dirty pore?

The Pope Dies and Goes to Heaven

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee and, after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.


He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eo...

Aboriginal Rituals

A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar...

Why don’t boys who have wealthy parents worry about acne?

Because it’s a pore man’s problem

Good news and bad news

Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.

Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try ...

What did the pimple say to the other pimple when she stole the first pimple's boyfriend.

Get away from him you dirty pore!

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So there is a a Russian, American, Cuban and a Mexican in a boat.

They are all hanging out relaxing, when suddenly the Cuban takes out a cuban cigar. He takes 2 puffs of it and throws it overboard.

"What are you doing? thats a really nice cuban cigar!" he was asked.
"Oh its no big deal, where I'm from they are a dime a dozen."
Thats pretty bad ass eve...

What do you call it when you can't see your skin?

Pore resolution

A graduate student submits his thesis to his advisor...

A few days later, the advisor returns in with a single note: Needs Improvement.

So the student makes a few changes and resubmits it. Again, the advisor returns it with the single note: Needs Improvement.

This time, the student pores over it, double checks every word, adds every referen...

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A woman hasnt had sex in a long time (LONG)

A woman, named Ethel and in her 30's, is out with her girlfriends at a bar. Eventually, talk turns to sex and there are some laughs and sly whispers. Except Ethel starts silently crying.

Her girlfriends ask what is wrong.

"I haven't had sex in more than three years!", Ethel sobs.
...

TIL about GMO Corn

Scientists have been working on developing drought resistant corn that will be a better crop for regions that do not get as much rain. They have developed a strain of corn that has stoma on the underside of the leaves that are stiffer.
It is hard pore corn.

A man decided to try and cure his acne with sulphuric acid

It was a pore decision...

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