UPJOKE
brainwavecogitatethinkbrainstormingcerebrateinsightfindponderrethinkideatestrategizesummarizeenvisioningdissectreminisce

Brainstorm Jokes

A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project

For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.

"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.

"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Brainstorm

Why do men get their best ideas during sex?

Because they're plugged into genius.

A couple is going through a divorce and custody of the son comes into question.

The father presents evidence that the wife hits the poor boy whenever he misbehaves the slightest. The mother reveals evidence that the father would get belligerently drunk and use his belt on the boy.

The Judge suggests letting the boy live with his grandfather, but it turns out that almost ...

Where do tears comes from?

A brainstorm.

Adam and Eve had been brainstorming with God for what felt like an eternity.

"Two dozen hours?" asked Adam.

"One seventh of a week?" suggested Eve.

God shook his head and sighed. "Let's just call it a day."

What is a zombie's favorite type of weather?

A brainstorm.

A couple of priests were brainstorming ideas of how to get more women involved with the church.

They had a few ideas but Nun stood out.

Victory day

Soviet Union delegation announced they are coming to Helsinki. To commemorate the Victory Day, they asked to set flowers to the statue of the unknown soldier. Finnish officials complied, but started to panic: there is no statue of the unknown soldier in Helsinki!

After a bit a brainstorming, ...

The marketing team for the Veggie Food Company are having a brand meeting

"So the food techs have given us this amazing veggie bacon, what are we going to call it?" says the boss.
After hours of brainstorming and arguments, Sammy the intern says, "what about Facon?"
Everyone loves it and the boss promises him a bonus and a promotion.
"That's great, well done Samm...

The US military would be really disappointed

when it sits down to brainstorm a name for the nuclear bomb to be dropped on Kim Jong-un and realises that Fatman is already taken.

Two guys are stuck in prison.

Desperate to get back out and perhaps lead semi-regular lives, the two cellmates try to brainstorm for an escape plan. A mere hour and a half later, one of the men comes up with a plan: steal some children's craft scissors, smuggle them back to the cell, cut through the floor, and cut out a tunnel b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ever wonder how they came up with the name Canada?

A bunch of native Canadians had a meeting to come up with a name for their new land. After hours of brainstorming, they couldn't come up with anything so the leader decided to put all the letters of the alphabet in a bag and take some out one by one and that would be the name of the nation.

F...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man and the horse couldn’t agree on what to name the new planet

Despite hours of brainstorms and workshops, the man and the horse couldn’t agree on what to name the new planet.

“New Terra is the sensible choice”, said the man, exasperated.

“Don’t give me that more-evolved-than-thou horse-shit”, said the horse, “why don’t you let a non-dominant life...

Two blondes with horses...

Two blonds who loved horse riding had been begging their parents to get them a horse each for a long time, and in the end the parents give in.

The two blonds wants to be able to distinguish which horse belongs to whom.
The first blonde says: "Let's cut off the tail off on one of the horse...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mechanical Engineer, a Special Projects Solution Consultant, and a Software Engineering were riding in a car over a mountain pass....

....Suddenly, the brakes fail just as they crest the rise.

As they begin to plummet unchecked down the mountain, the driver begins a miraculous set of actions, feathering the body of the car against the side of the mountain as well as other vehicles, while simultaneously downshifting the eng...

Three men are lost in the desert with no supplies, when the devil appears before them.

The devil looks at their skin and bones, their cracked lips, and says, “I see you’re in a bit of a rough spot. I can help you - let’s play a little game. You each get one chance to name a task I can’t do. If you succeed, I’ll save you.”

The first man immediately replies, “I bet you can’t buil...

A king was fed up by the constant jokes about the men in his kingdom being afraid of their wives.

He wanted to find a man who wasn't afraid of his wife and give him public honors and lavish him with gifts so other men may follow suit.

After some brainstorming in the court the king announced to his subjects that " if a man comes forward and publically say that he is NOT AFRAID of his wife...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 2nd Grade Teacher was Fired Today /DryHumor

A superintendent, school principal, vice principal, and New Jersey Department of Education are touring the elementary school for their annual walkthrough.

The hallways buzz about as they pass classroom after classroom, a living collage of Language Arts lessons, Social Studies, sing songs edut...

A father had a very rowdy son

He would never listen to his father, always disobeying rules, and being rebellious at every chance. The father often told the boy, "You should be more respectful of others", to no avail as his words fell on deaf ears. His pranks were, quite frankly, annoying to the neighbours, but what did the son c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] The Life of Parmish [Part 1]

There were once two young brothers from India, Parmish and Dudah, who decided one day to travel the world. They went to London, France, China, Japan, and many other countries. They ate all the exotic food they came across and explored many different cultures and experiences.

At their last st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Gunny's Gun (a military joke)...

U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail.

So, the Joint Chiefs of Staff all get together one day at a tavern in Washington D.C. to brainstorm a solution. After many hours of back an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Bob is having some issues in the bedroom...

Him and his wife and tired of it, it's really starting to hurt their marriage.
Bob decides to take the second half of his day off work and head to the doctor searching for a solution. "Well Dick, it's just happening to fast and I can't seem to get it under control, any ideas?" "Well Bob, a trick...

The cruise ship captain (oc)

A cruise ship captain was waiting to set sail, but didn't have as many people on board as he needed to make it worth while, so he got an idea, he would go to the boardwalk, and offer people half price for tickets. He got a couple of takers, but not enough.

Then he got another idea, he would ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear the one about the Monastery?

There once was a monastery located in a small town. Over the years, less and less people were donating to the monastery and the friars that lived there started to fret about lack of funds. The friars sat night after night, brainstorming into the wee hours of the morning. Finally, they decided that i...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.