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Takeout Jokes

Chinese takeout,,,

### Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the c...

Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50

Getting home to find they’ve forgotten one of your dishes.

Riceless.

Is it ok to ignore dumplings in my Chinese takeout?

Or will I be charged with wonton neglect?

I can just eat Chinese takeout every day.

I'm lo meintenance.

Whoever coined the term ‘delivery’ for childbirth made a big mistake.

It should have been called takeout instead.

A middle class couple wanted to takeout their leftover food in a restaurant

The food served in this restaurant was so good that they kept coming back to dine there and finishing every dish they ordered.


One day they weren't able to finish one, but it was so good that they didn't want to waste it. They wanted to have the restaurant package up their leftover for ...

Why did the depressed Mexican order chinese takeout?

Because he was feeling lo mein

They say you shouldn't eat takeout too often because it makes you fat...

I think it's worth the weight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just couldn't decide which asian takeout food I like the best, Japanese or Chinese.

I ended up calling it a Thai.

What can be said for Vietnamese soilders and takeout food?

They never make it home

My family and I got takeout and we got wonton soup but we needed one more

so now we have twoton soup.

What did Dave Grohl say when someone stole his Greek takeout?

There goes my gyro!!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When you get takeout and they give you 2 sets of utensils...

They're trying to tell you that your order is a meal for 2, fat-ass.

What is Captain Picard's favorite Chinese takeout ?

Make it Tso!

I got fired from my job at Planned Parenthood

My boss didn’t like me saying “Takeout or delivery?” whenever someone walked in the door

What is Batman’s least favorite food?

A: Chinese takeout

Today I was wearing a shirt with the family crest of my favorite painter Frida Kahlo. After a few hours I started to get hungry and ordered takeout. When my delivery person arrived he handed over my food without taking any money for bringing it to me. I asked him “How come there’s no charge?”

He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”

Doctors in china don't ask if you want an abortion

They just ask if you want takeout or delivery

Unites Airlines newest in-flight cuisine

Chinese Takeout

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Number Sixty Nine

Hong and Lin were Chinese immigrants. They had been married for 20 years and operated a successful Chinese takeout restaurant.

One night they are sleeping when Hong wakes up suddenly and immediately rouses his wife. "Honey, I have a hankering for some number sixty nine!"

"Go back to sl...

Today I learned the history of the word noodles

Back in ancient Asian territory, they created a food product. They chose to trade it with the Western world. When asked what they called this food, they realised they didn't have a name for it yet. It was a great food that always ended with empty bowls, so they decided to take the English words 'nau...

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