UPJOKE
moveswayputtingturnmomentumliltsweepjivedropcutdangleshotstrokewaverswinging

Swinger

I like to tell people my wife was a bit of a swinger back in the day.

Sounds so much better than saying she hung herself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An alien couple land their saucer in a farmer's field

They approach the house and explain to the farmer and his wife that they are intergalactic swingers. He asks them is they are ok to spend the night and then go back to their planet in the morning. The farmer and his wife talk it over and agree.

The male alien takes the farmer's wife into th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Swinger's Party

I went to this swingers party and tossed my keys into a bowl.

I thought I had hit the jackpot when this hot big titted sultry blonde picked them out.


Never saw my BMW again.

What dessert do swingers serve at their parties?

Pineapple upside down cake.

I met my wife at a swingers party.

I said, "You should be home looking after the kids!"

What's worse than learning that your parents are swingers?

Coming upon them at a party.

I think it was a mistake to go to that "swingers in the dark" party last night...

...I don't know what came over me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m starting a married-parents swingers club

You show up and don’t have sex with someone else’s spouse.

Swingers

I tell you how bad things are....I went to this swinger's party last night and we all chucked our car keys into a bowl of disinfectant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lifehack .

1. Hire the cheapest prostitute you can find.
2. Take her to a swingers club.
3. Switch with someone’s hot wife.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a sex shop that opened up across the highway from a 55+ aged swinger community

I wonder if it's because the orgies were getting old.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got back from a weekend camping trip with a bunch of swingers.

It was fucking in tents.

They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn't wear any shorts at all?

A swinger.

When a fire breaks out at a swingers convention

It causes premature evacuation.

Who is the most popular guy in a swingers' club?

The guy who can carry a dozen doughnuts without using his hands.

Who's the most popular woman?
The one who can get the last one without using hers.

What's the most interesting beer served at the star trek swingers convention?

Dos trekkies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I thought I’d try going to a swingers camping trip, but I was too shy to participate.

It was two fucking in tents for me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had died

He found himself standing before the Pearly Gates. He knocked and a friendly-looking old man wit a white beard opened the door and introduced himself as Saint Peter.

"Come in!" st. Peter said.

"Do you mean I get to go to heaven?"

"Yeah, sure" st. Peter Said "Come in. I'll give y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My swingers group went camping...

It was fucking intense.

<fixed the other joke>

So there is a friend of mine who invited me to a swinger party

I asked him "how many people will there be ?"
"Bring your wife and we'll be three" he said

If you and your spouse get amorous in a hammock…

Does that make you swingers?

I saw a sign advertising a plowsharing market the other day.

I don't know if that's a more or less politically correct way of talking about a swinger party...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The world fossil fuel industry was shocked by the scandalous public exposure of LITERAL underground "swingers parties". The scandal allegedly involves numerous lustful Coal Union members including prospectors, colliers, dredgers, excavators, and sappers...

#

#

# POST REMOVED

# Rule 9 - Reddit prohibits any sexual or suggestive content involving minors.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An alien spaceship lands in a married couple's backyard...

The couple goes out to greet them. After introductions and typical small talk, they discover that these aliens are galactic swingers, and they were looking to do a little swapping.

The couple decided that, since they were representing all of humanity, they would play along.

The wif...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Deborah met with her friend Judy one Sunday afternoon, and Deborah began talking about her husband's new favorite pastime

"Oh yes," said Deborah with the grandest smile on her face, "everything has been so much better between Henry and I ever since he joined his 'Swingers Club'!"

Judy's utter shock forced her to spit out all the tea she was sipping on, and she tried to form a proper response as her mind became s...

We took the kids to the playground earlier.

We met another couple and their kids. They seemed real normal, you know? So we asked if they wanted to walk over to the slides and the see-saw.

But then the husband told us, they’re swingers.

An older couple decided to try "swinging"

They'd both recently turned sixty and, what the heck -- YOLO. So they went to a swingers party and, to their amazement, connected with a very young couple barely past their teens. After an hour and a half of "play time" they got dressed and headed home.

"Well that was disappointing," he said...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Alien Sex

An alien couple come down to earth and goes to a swingers party.

They swap partners and go to their respective bedrooms. The alien takes off his clothes revealing a one inch cock.

The human woman says, "I'm not impressed with this at all."

The alien then twists his right ear ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.