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A psychologist has a party for all of her patients

She instructs everyone to come dressed as an emotion. As the party begins, she sees her first patient come in dressed in all red. The psychologist asks her "what are you dressed as" and the patient replies "I'm dressed as anger and rage." The next patient comes in and is dressed in all blue. The psy...

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A Japanese man flew to Amerika to be with the girl of his dreams that he had met online.

He arrived at her parents house and rang the doorbell. When her father opened the door, the Japanese man bowed and introduced himself.

"My name is Hieto Sazukawaskawa and I am here to sleep with your daughter."

The fathers eyes grew wide and he asked in disbelieve.

"You are he...

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A young man wants a job at his local farm

"Why do you want to work here?" Asks the farmer. "I understand the language of your animals." In disbelieve the farmer takes him to the cow. "Muuuh" "So, what did she say?" "You should cut your nails, it hurts when you milk her." The farmer looks at his nails. "You may be right, but thats pure coin...

Sky diving

A sky diver had just pulled his main chute and found it wouldn't open. He quickly tries his reserve chute, still nothing. Now in a panic falling towards the ground he see's a man flying up towards him at an incredible speed. In stunned disbelieve as they pass each other the sky diver screams out "do...

Five blokes in an Audi Quattro arrived at the ferry checkpoint.

Blonde Tracey, in her brand new uniform, stops them and tells them: "I can't let you on the ferry. It is illegal to have 5 people in a Quattro. Quattro means four. One of you will have to get out and stay behind."

"Quattro is just the name of the car," the driver replies in disbelieve. "Look ...

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Hair-lip and his boat

Long one but a good one, dad told this one the best. You have to do the red neck voice for maximum effect.

Joe is at a bar having a drink, when his red neck friend Billy comes in saying
"Joe y-y-you need to get yourself a boat, best damn thing I ever did"

"Why's that?"

"Man I...

One day an obnoxious atheist asked a pious Muslim man to explain to him why people suffered If God existed. The Muslim calmly thought for a minute

And then hacked that disbeliever's head clean off.

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