A duck and a detective are investigating a crime scene.

Duck: It looks like the man was stabbed

Detective : Do you suspect fowl play?

Duck: please focus, there may be a killer on the loose.

Detective: You’re right, I really hope we can quack this case and put it to bread

At the doctor investigating my stomach issues, I was asked if I had a family history of stomach issues

I said “why yes, diarrhea runs in my genes.”

Sherlock and Watson were investigating a home robbery.

They were going around the house looking for any clues or fingerprints. They were also going off tips from people who witnessed the crime. "One of the people said the guy was in here for a good fifteen or so minutes" said Watson.

"Fifteen minutes? What was he doing here for that long?" Sherlo...

NASA is currently investigating why Mars used to be warm and wet and now dry and cold.

My guess is 5-10 years of marriage.

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

A detective is investigating a crime scene in Mexico.

A cop fills him in on what happened.

“Apparently the killer is riddled with dementia and considers the train his lover, so he killed the train operator out of jealousy”

“Wow” says the detective, looking up at the train in question.

“That’s some locomotive”

An old Russian WW2 joke

This is an old Russian WW2 joke that my grandfather loved to tell.

During high-casualty battles between Germans and Russians, the Russian general gets surprised by the commander of a tiny platoon who wants to hand over hundreds of German prisoners. When investigating the prisoners closer, h...

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

“How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.

“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”

“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

The police were recently investigating a recent sheep theft..

No onces been charged yet, but police hope to have the criminals behind bahhs soon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson were investigating a case.

Suddenly Dr. Watson started having constipation and he retired to the nearest lavatory.

After some time passed, Holmes went to check up on Watson.

"You all right in there, Watson?"

"Yes, Holmes."

"Still having bouts of constipation, don't you?"

"Yeah, no shit, Sher...

The IRS is investigating a seafood company in Hawaii which dealt in mollusks

They suspect it of being a shell company being in fishy business

Police were investigating a murder in Ten City...

The victim was Andrew Pun, and the suspects were his family members. They were extremely wealthy, and had a pure blood line spanning out across multiple cities.

The police began interrogating each sibling, guardian, and family friends. All of them had an alibi:

Tommy Pun, Andrew's lit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am currently investigating a possible link between Jeffrey Epstein and Osama Bin Ladin.

I mean where else would Bin Laden get the 72 virgins he was always talking about?

If a dog works hard investigating and helps catches criminals and listens to a cop, it's a Police Hound

but if the dog did the same thing but listened to a Private Investigator it's a Snoop Dog

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Police were investigating an incident that happened during a hypnotist's show

A male hypnotist ended up in the hospital with multiple injuries. They interviewed a witness on what happened during the show.

Police: So, can you tell us what happened?

Witness: So we were watching a hypnotist doing his show, all is going well. He asked for volunteers from the audienc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Officers were investigating a crime that took place at a porn studio.

Finding evidence of the perpetrators, One officer said to the other, "They definitely came in here."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he was investigating a male porn star?

“Something’s afoot!”

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are camped in the woods while investigating a case.

They go to sleep. Several hours later, Holmes wakes Watson. He says, "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."

Watson says, "Well, I see thousands of stars."

"And what does that tell you?"

"Well, I think it means that we'll have another nice day tomorrow. How about you?"
<...

So police are investigating a korean man on suspicion of murdering his wife..

He is the seoul suspect of the case.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was having an affair with an inspector from a pest-control company.

One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to the lover, “into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom di...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A DEA agent is investigating some farms...

On one particular farm he walks up to the farmer who was doing some work in one of his fields and says, "Sir, I'm from the DEA and I'm inspecting some farms in the area to make sure there are no illegal drugs being grown"
The farmer replies, "Alright, but just don't go in that field"
The DEA a...

The FBI is now investigating Net Neutrality comments

Pai Pai you piece Ajit

The police are investigating the recent shootout at a fancy downtown restaurant.

There are no reports of casual tees.

The police are investigating a burglar who robbed my home and drew a picture of himself.

The details are sketchy.

Holmes and Watson were investigating a murder at an archaeological dig-site

Holmes picks up several of the rocks and pebbles surrounding the murder victim. After a while, Holmes turns to his companion and says "I've cracked the case. The suspect was clearly murdered with a blow to the head by a rock, which then crumbled and scattered into pieces."

"How on Earth can y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse wakes up one winter morning to find that someone has written "Fuck You Mickey" in the snow on his lawn with piss. It happens multiple times each with worse messages. Mickey calls the police who start investigating and after a few days...

...the detective comes to Mickey and says, "Well I have good news and bad news."

"What's the good news?" Mickey asks.

"We ran a bunch of tests and found that the urine belongs to Donald Duck!"

"Well that's great, but what's the bad news?"

"Forensics has confirmed that the...

Two detectives are investigating a crime scene in a plastic surgeons O.R. (Long)

After an initial forensics report they determine cause of death was blood loss.

Detective 1: I’ve seen their sort of procedure before. Good God! I thought they stopped this sort of operation years ago!

Detective 2: what is it? You’ve seen this before!??

Detective 1: oh yes....Ma...

St. Peter was looking down at Earth one Sunday and saw a Baptist minister playing golf

After a bit of investigating, he found the man had asked his lay clergy to conduct that day's service so he could take advantage of good weather. Incensed, St. Peter goes to God to complain.

"Lord, can you believe this? A man who preaches your Word, neglecting his sacred duty so he can golf....

What do you call a cholo investigating a crime scene?

Sherlock homes foo.

A stash of cannabis plants has been dumped in a local Estuary and local seabirds have been seen feeding nearby.

Bird welfare groups are investigating and they say no tern has been left un-stoned!!..

A group of naturalists found hundreds of dead crows near highways. They began investigating.

They brought an Ornithologist in, who discovered that 90% had been killed by trucks. After some study, they figured out that it was because the crows could say "Caw!" but not "Truck!"

Police investigating the feline corpse discovered in a Zerox machine.....

have said “this may be a copy cat killing”

Why did the FBI go to question Sarah Palin while investigating Trump's collusion?

Because she can see Russia from her house.

Investigating Hillary Clinton is like fishing on Discovery Channel

... you catch them, you show them, and you let them go.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.