What's better than a tuna sandwich?

A three-na sandwich

You cannot fit inside a tuna can

But a tuna can

What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?

You can tuna piano,but you can not piano a tuna.

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into the large Catholic neighborhood.

On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday during Lent.

On the last Friday of Lent the neighborhood men got together and decided that something just HAD t...

A Tuna Sandwich Walks Into A Bar

The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here"

A man goes to an ice cream shop and asks if they have tuna ice cream

A man goes to an ice cream shop and asks the worker "Do you have tuna ice cream?"

The worker looks at him confused and says "no".


The next day the man goes to the same ice cream shop and asks "Do you have tuna ice cream?"

The worker says no again.


The man go...

What Are We Eating?

A can of tuna has a picture of a tuna fish

A pack of Ham has a picture of a pig

Turkey has a picture of a turkey

Egg carton has a picture of a chicken

Beef has a picture of a cow

Dogfood has a picture of a dog

Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference"

Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

How do you tuna fish?

You raise or lower the scales

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hilarious, subversive memo sent to 20,000 federal employees early in computer mass-messaging age

This memo was sent out to 20,000 federal employees in my agency in the early 1990s, when federal computer systems first got mass messaging. The first incarnation of this system allowed *any employee* to mass message. Some low-level employee sent this to all. Needless to say, the agency immediatel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind man walks into a lumberyard and asks for a job.

The manager looks at him and says, "what job could I possibly give you that you could do?"

The blind man says, "I can identify any wood by smell."

So, the manager decides to test him. He holds up a board up under the blind man's nose. The blind man takes one whiff and says, "Cherry. D...

What is the difference between a tuna, a piano and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna.












Wait what about the glue?

Aha I knew you’d get stuck on that!

What did the tuna fish achieve after passing his exams?

He was an honored roll.

A guy at work takes out his lunchbag and looks inside

He sighs and says "a tuna sandwich again? I'm getting tired of this."

The next day during the lunch break he takes out his lunch bag, opens it, looks inside and again he sighs, saying "every single day for lunch, a tuna sandwich. I really can't take it anymore."

His friend says to him ...

i learned a language whose only word is "TUNA"

it sounded fishy at first, but the dolphins told me it was safe

Given the terms “crab”, “tuna”, “lobster”, and “Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders”, which does not fit?

Ans: “tuna”. The other 3 are crushed asians.

Went to a fancy restaurant and ordered tuna, but they brought something else instead

Obvious catfish situation

What do you call the diabolical leader of a school of tuna?

A fiendish dean fish.

Did you hear the one about the evil tuna?

He was rotten to the albacore.

The former presidents are having lunch (Credit u/ThePerfectSnare)

**Bush**: Now, being president isn't as easy as it looks. It's like they say, you can drag a horse to water, but... but you have to hear it straight from the horse's mouth.

**Obama**: I, uh... I appreciate any guidance you and the other presidents are willing to offer me.

**Bush**: ...

Why do the French never eat tuna sandwiches?

Because bread is pain and fish is poisson

You're hungry. In the fridge there is a bag of bread, jar of jam, a can of tuna, and some milk. To answer the riddle, what do you open first?

This thread!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three girls, a blonde, a readhead and a brunette, are having lunch break together...

The brunette opens her lunchbox and sighs:"My husband is so kind, he prepares my lunch every day but... Again a tuna sandwich?"

The readhead opens hers and sighs too:"Crap, tuna sandwich for me too... Again!"

The blonde opens hers and goes:"Guess what? I got the same t...

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Two tuna fish passing by a submarine. Big Tuna Mommy says:

Don’t be scared little Tuna, these are canned humans.

-I read this joke when I was five. I still think it’s funny. -

John the fisherman

A fisherman walks into a bank to apply for a loan.

The banker sits him down and goes: "So, what was your net gain for the previous year?"

The fisherman thinks for a bit and says: "An assortment of tuna fish"

A man messaged his ex : Just now ate a tuna taco and suddenly you came in my mind “

She messaged him back : “ just now ordered a mini hot dog , it came in just 2 minutes. Suddenlu you came in my mind “

Why did the squirrel bury the tuna?

Because if you spell it backwards, it’s a nut.

I got fired from my job at a tuna cannery because I came into work dressed as Ironman.

I told them this was who I was now, and they were being Starkist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Why did the tuna cross the strait?

To get to the other tide.

Lost my job at the supermarket so trying my luck as a musician

I don’t know much but I know how to tuna can

*(Courtesy of my extremely tired brain whilst unpacking groceries)*

I looked at the bottom of a tuna tin and it said: "Best Before Date"

I thought, "No, it isn't."

A blind guy (Dale) goes to a lumber yard looking for a job. Once he finds the freemans office he introduces himself and asks for a job.

The foreman (Greg) is unsure how a blind guy can work at a lumber yard and expresses his concerns.

Dale explains that bind people usually have heightened senses in the other areas. In his case his sense of smell is extra keen.

Greg tells him Dale that he doesn't understand how that wi...

What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day?

Hello ladies. Warm enough for you?

Is that a tuna roll in your pocket, or are you just happy sashimi

yuk yuk yuk

The Tuna thought he was doing a great job at work.

Instead, he was canned.

If you have three tuna and take away one half, what do you have?

Two 'n' a half -OR- tuna half.

Tuna walks into a sushi restaurant...

...says to the chef, "Hey, you killed my father!" Chef says to the tuna, "That's my business, fish."

Tuna thinks about it, says "Then i challenge you to a game of chess. If i win, you stop being a chef forever." "And if i win?" asks the chef. "Then you can feed me to your customers." tuna re...

My cat’s favourite opera song?

O fortuna. (Oh-for-tuna)
From Carmina Burana by Carl Orff

How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar?

They both come in little cans.

Long... Three builders...

Three builders are working on top of a tall building and decide to break for lunch. First guy opens his lunchbox and sees a ham and cheese sandwich. "I'm sick and tired of ham and cheese sandwiches, that's two weeks in a row now with nothing but ham and cheese sandwiches, if I get this tomorrow I'm ...

What do you call Jim from The Office rolling down a hill?

A tuna roll

Three men work on top of a building.

They are taking their lunch break when the brown haired man says, “Chicken salad again! If I get chicken salad again I’m going to jump.”

Next the red haired man says, “Tuna fish again! If I get tuna fish again I’m going to jump.”

The third blonde haired man says, “PBJ again! If I get P...

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