What is the difference between a tuna, a piano and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna.












Wait what about the glue?

Aha I knew you’d get stuck on that!

Guy 1:"Tell me a bad pun" Guy 2: "Alright What’s the difference between a tuna fish, a piano and a tube of glue" Guy 1: "Ok that last one was random as heck what is the difference"

Guy 2: " you can tuna a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna" Guy 1: "Ok where does the glue come in" Guy 2: “Ah i knew you’d get stuck on that”

What's the difference between superglue, a tuna, and a piano?

You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!

How do you tuna fish?

You raise or lower the scales

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three girls, a blonde, a readhead and a brunette, are having lunch break together...

The brunette opens her lunchbox and sighs:"My husband is so kind, he prepares my lunch every day but... Again a tuna sandwich?"

The readhead opens hers and sighs too:"Crap, tuna sandwich for me too... Again!"

The blonde opens hers and goes:"Guess what? I got the same t...

i learned a language whose only word is "TUNA"

it sounded fishy at first, but the dolphins told me it was safe

Did you hear the one about the evil tuna?

He was rotten to the albacore.

Went to a fancy restaurant and ordered tuna, but they brought something else instead

Obvious catfish situation

What do you call the diabolical leader of a school of tuna?

A fiendish dean fish.

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In a little old town near a little old river, a fly is hovering just above the water.

There is a fish under the surface of the water looking at a fly, thinking 'If that fly drops just 6 inches, I could catch the fly and that would me my meal for the day.'

But there was a bird in a nearby tree looking at the fish, looking at the fly and thinking 'If that fly drops just 6 inches...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

You're hungry. In the fridge there is a bag of bread, jar of jam, a can of tuna, and some milk. To answer the riddle, what do you open first?

This thread!

Given the terms “crab”, “tuna”, “lobster”, and “Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders”, which does not fit?

Ans: “tuna”. The other 3 are crushed asians.

Why do the French never eat tuna sandwiches?

Because bread is pain and fish is poisson

Two tuna fish passing by a submarine. Big Tuna Mommy says:

Don’t be scared little Tuna, these are canned humans.

-I read this joke when I was five. I still think it’s funny. -

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call Jim from The Office rolling down a hill?

A tuna roll

A man messaged his ex : Just now ate a tuna taco and suddenly you came in my mind “

She messaged him back : “ just now ordered a mini hot dog , it came in just 2 minutes. Suddenlu you came in my mind “

Why did the squirrel bury the tuna?

Because if you spell it backwards, it’s a nut.

What's the difference between a Piano, a Tuna, and a tub of Glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna. As for the glue... well I knew you'd get stuck on that one.

This joke might seem a little fishy, but I find it key to tell a joke that can really stick with people.

I got fired from my job at a tuna cannery because I came into work dressed as Ironman.

I told them this was who I was now, and they were being Starkist.

I looked at the bottom of a tuna tin and it said: "Best Before Date"

I thought, "No, it isn't."

Funny office trends

People putting names on food in the fridge.

Today I had a tuna sandwich called Linda.

How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar?

They both come in little cans.

A girl goes out surfing but does not return home...

...sick with worry, her parents ask for help and the lifeguard service heads out to find her. Soon, the parents are informed over the phone by an excited lifeguard. "We have bad news, good news, and really good news!" The parent's tears are instantly dried and smiles spread across their faces but al...

Why did the tuna cross the strait?

To get to the other tide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There’s a fly buzzing over the water.

A frog is sitting on a lily pad and he says if that fly drops three inches I’ll eat him for lunch.
A fish under the water is looking up and he says if that fly drops three inches that frog will jump, then I’ll jump and I’ll eat that frog for lunch.
There’s a bear on the side of the pond and...

What species is the most optimistic?

Fish, they take every oppor-tuna-ty

The Tuna thought he was doing a great job at work.

Instead, he was canned.

Is that a tuna roll in your pocket, or are you just happy sashimi

yuk yuk yuk

If you have three tuna and take away one half, what do you have?

Two 'n' a half -OR- tuna half.

Three men work on top of a building.

They are taking their lunch break when the brown haired man says, “Chicken salad again! If I get chicken salad again I’m going to jump.”

Next the red haired man says, “Tuna fish again! If I get tuna fish again I’m going to jump.”

The third blonde haired man says, “PBJ again! If I get P...

What is Timon and Pumbaa's favorite breakfast?

A tuna frittata

My friend laughed when I told him I could make an instrument sound better with fish.

He didn’t laugh for long when he saw how I could tuna guitar.

If western water have swordfish, when what do eastern waters have?

Ka*tuna*

Can a salmon be contained?

No, but a tuna can.

What do you call 2 sodium atoms in the ocean?

tuNa

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite fish?

Ahi-hi Tuna!

My favorite Lent joke (as told to me by an Episcopal reverend)

A Protestant moves into a Catholic neighborhood. It's a pretty open-minded and welcoming community, and everyone gets along great.

The first time an issue presents itself is when Lent rolls around. During Lent, the Catholics in the neighborhood all swear off red meat. Every day at lunch, h...

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