When I was younger, I promised myself that I wouldn’t become one of those people who starves for attention and tries to get everyone to look at them but

Look at me now!

Why can't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

Do you know why you can’t starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

Source: I’m a dad.

Why is it impossible to starve on the beach?

Because of the sand which is there.

(My favorite riddle when I was a kid)

Why are communists always late to events?

Because they’re Stallin’!

JK. It’s cause they starved to death.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gingerbread house (long)

Me and my good friend John went camping one time, but after we left our campsite for a walk we got lost. After two weeks of walking around the forest, trying to find our way out, or at least something to eat, we stumble onto a little meadow with a gingerbread house in the middle.

As you can i...

A man walking in a desert was about to starve to death, when he suddenly...

Died of thirst.

I don't understand why people starve when stranded in deserts...

There is the sand which is everywhere.

Why’d the sniper starve to death?

He only had 50 cals on him.

How do you starve a Socialist?

You hide their food stamps under their work boots.



Edit; Thank you /u/DoctorBrohoof for my first gold!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hero comes to a village...

The villagers all looks very upset, so the hero ask what happen. ‟There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it’ll come down and eat one of our virgin girls” the villager reply. The hero then promise to help. Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you starve a black person?

The same way you starve a white person you racist piece of shit

Three men die and appear before Buddha...

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

\-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forwa...

It is early January of 1793. The commotion outside of the Castle of Versailles is growing louder by the minute. Louis XVI, however, is not bothered, as he is getting his new suit matched, pleated and frilled in his chambers by his favorite tailor.

"Ah yes, Poilon, superb work with the gold thread on my boot leather as per usual. And now: the silk pants with Morocco pearls."

"Y-your Majesty... I think they're breaking down the front wall."

"Nonsense! Clothe me or I shall have you beheaded!"

"Absolutely, your majesty! There...

Why did the cow starve to death?

Because a vegan ate its food.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Zoom Thanksgiving

Our potluck is going to hit everyone a little different this year. My dad will finally have the whole turkey to himself. Aunt Mary will be wasted all day since she agreed to get the keg. Grandma might go into a diabetic coma since she only makes desserts. And I hope Uncle Larry starves to death sinc...

Did you hear about the cheap farmer that let a town starve?

He didn't give a crop

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the blind fly starve to death??

Because he couldn't see shit

How do you kill an introvert?

Starve him to death by putting another person in the kitchen

What’s the difference between Boris Johnson and Maggie Thatcher?

One starved miners and one starved minors

Officials have found a brain-eating Amoba in the water supply of Washington DC. Officials are worried

After all, there's a good chance the Amobas will starve to death

An ant falls out of an airplane, how did it die?

Starved to death on the way down.

(Translated from Mandarin, every Chinese kid knows this joke, not sure if it works in English).

How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

How do you starve a neurosurgeon?

Hide his paycheck with his kids.

What did the bank say to the government

Bank: Hey government. I need money to pay my workers or we're gonna go out of business.

Government: Hey bank. Sure. I remember you from Harvard, how are you doing?

Bank: Doing great, actually! I remember you too. Frat bros for life. Thanks for the cash.

Government: Frat bros for...

Why did the blonde starve to death?

Her new phone came with a little packet in the box that said, "Do not eat."

A philosopher asks a question to his student: "Who is smarter, the common cat or the loyal dog?"

The students looks confused and responds with another question: "Can you give me context, teacher?"
The wise philosopher nodded. "There once was an owner with a cat and a dog. He died. Because there was no more food given by the owner, the cat and the dog were left hungry and alone. The cat, havi...

Another deserted island joke...

A chemist, a physicist, and an economist are shipwrecked on a deserted island, with only a book of waterproof matches, a set of flares, and a case of canned soup.

“All we have to eat is this soup,” said the chemist as he set of the first flare. “Let’s set the cans here, near the water, so th...

What’s the difference between a communist from 40’s USSR and a communist from America now?

One of them didn’t starve to death during the winter.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.