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Surfer Jokes

If Iron man and Silver surfer...

teamed up they would be Alloys.

Why did the surfer bring a book to the beach?

He wanted to catch up on his current reading.

If surfers come together...

Is that considered a board meeting?

So Spider-Man and Silver Surfer decided to hang out one day

Yeah, I think they surfed the web together

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A surfer gets attacked by a shark. He wakes up in hospital to see his penis fully bandaged



\- Doctor, what is wrong with my penis?

\- You had an accident. A shark bit you.

\- It bit my penis off??

\- No, no, thank God, no! It just bit off the tip. We managed to save most of it.

\- How much did it bite off?

\- Well.. you had a tattoo there?
...

Why did the surfer go the the football game?

He wanted to practice the wave

How do surfers wish each other Merry Christmas

Good tidings my fellow man

What does a surfer have in common with an executioner?

They can both hang ten.

Which kitchen appliance do surfers dislike most?

The micro wave.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a surfer and a horny businesswoman?

One has a wet suit, the other's suit is wet.

Surfer saves shark by punching wife in New South Wales.

Beg your pardon. Let me read that again...

Why did the Surfer get lost at Sea?

Cuz he never learned the alphabet.

Why was the surfer such a bad cook?

All he could handle was the microwave

Do you know why surfers eat their food cold?

Because they don't like microwaves.

What is a surfer guy's favorite horror movie?

Saw duude!

What did the surfer say when he visited Syria?

This place is totally radical!

How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay?

WATERBOARDING!!!

What are you doing when you Sentence almost a Dozen Surfers to death by the Gallows?

You're Hanging Ten, Dudes!

Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy.

They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach.
They notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by.
The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer short...

A guy and his buddy are on the beach trying to pick up girls.

A guy and his buddy are on the beach trying to pick up girls. The guy walks up and down the beach in his bathing suit and nothing. Nobody looks. He comes back to his friend and the friend says "try a speedo". So he walks up and down the beach in his speedo. Nothing. The girls aren't reacting. So his...

A California guy buys some used SCUBA gear...

Eager to try it out, he drives down to the beach, throws on some sunscreen, pulls on his wetsuit and heads out into the surf.

He’s only under water for a minute when he suddenly can’t get any air! Coughing and choking he barely makes it back to the beach. A surfer sees him and says, “Someth...

Whats the weird fleshy thing between a sharks teeth called?

A surfer

Biologists [find a whale washed up on the shore]

Biologists [find a whale washed]: it’s a new species, what do we call it?................
Bunch o’ surfer dudes walking by: yo! Killer whale dude.....................
Biologists[looking at each other]:...

An amputee woman was having a drink in a bar...

...when a man comes up and asks about her missing leg.

"Oh, it's really quite an amazing story," she said. "I used to love surfing! I rode waves all day and all night, rain or shine. One morning, after just an hour or so of surfing, a great white shark came and knocked me right off the bo...

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The Man who could only Drink Milk

I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He'd run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he'd started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

Why did the Mormon cross the aisle?

To get to the other bride!

Why did the surfer cross the beach?

To get to the other tide!

Why did the lion cross the savannah?

cuz there's a FUCKING DENTIST WITH A BOW AND ARROW, RUN CECIL RUN!!

Surf's up?

A Californian surfer visiting Australia was having a good time catching the breakers at resorts along the Gold Coast, but wanted a special experience. He wanted to surf a beach where nobody, or almost nobody, goes.

So he gets in the car, drives north. At the first remote beach he hits, he has...

On his way home from work, a man realizes he has forgotten a birthday gift for his daughter...

He stops at Toys R Us and heads straight to the Barbies. Overwhelmed by all of his choices, he approaches a nearby sales associate. She then proceeds to show him their most popular Barbie dolls.

"Well, here we have Astronaut Barbie, Surfer Barbie, and Veterinarian Barbie... but our most popu...

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