UPJOKE
leatherultrasuedevelvetjacketsuede clothshirtleggingssatinplaidcorduroyshoecashmeretweedlacesnakeskin

What does Elvis wear on his feet when he can't find his Blue Suede Shoes?

His Jailhouse Crocs

I only like smooth leather

and my opinion will never be suede.

What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye making love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while breaking wind? <...

Did you hear about the cow that went to the tannery just because the other cows told him to?

At least he looked good; he was easily suede.

Did you hear about the deer that could not be convinced to go to the tannery?

It kept screaming, "I will not be suede!"

My friend is trying to convince me to replace all my skin with a plush brown material

But I won't be suede

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is walking home from his job at a local software company

He worked late that night, and the sun had already fallen below the sky. The man enjoyed the two mile walk to work in the morning, but the cold of the night made the way back numb, rigid, and surreal. The man followed long, curving roads through the dark pine forests, illuminated by cold sunlight re...

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