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Skirts Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years ...

A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and at the loaves of bread behind the counter.

Noticing her short skirt, and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.

“I’d like some raisin bread please,” the man says.

The clerk nods and climbs up a la...

Why don’t women wear skirts in the winter?

They will get chapped lips.

My grandpa always told me that statistics are like skirts

They show some stuff that you are interested in but not the actual thing

“I caught my twelve-year-old son looking up women's skirts today,” I told the bartender.

“That's pretty normal for a twelve-year-old, isn't it?" he asked.

“Not on Amazon it isn't" I said.

Great legs

The wife and I were in town shopping and as we came out of a store, three attractive young women aged between 18 and 20 walked by wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic long toned and tanned legs.I gently nudged my wife and said, "I bet you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a Jet Skirt?

I was at the Grocery store with Grandpa , who is a retired Air Force pilot, when two Girls in **super short skirts** walked by.

Grandpa said, "Look at those **Jet Skirts**" as we both admired the two Ladies.

I had to know, what's a Jet Skirt ?

Grandpa replied, "It's a Skirt s...

As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers:

"Hey cheeky!" She said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?"

"That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam." I said sternly. "I don't even work here."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Skirts are like breasts.

They're better when they're above the knee.

My wife recently started sewing what she calls "quarantine skirts".

They look best when lifted.

Roses are red Nuts are brown Skirts go up....

Roses are red,
Nuts are brown,
Skirts go up,
Pants go down,
Body to body Skin to skin,
When its stiff,
Stick it in,
The Longer its in,
The Stronger it gets,
It goes in dry And comes out wet,
It comes out dripping And starts to sag,
Its not what you think......
Its...

Statistics and mini skirts..

...they hide more than what they reveal.

Asked a Scottish man today why they wear those skirts

He replied 'the last guy that called it skirt, got kilt'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't women wear skirts in San Fransisco?

Because their balls would show.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of airplane skirts?

They're so short, you can see the cockpit.

Looking up skirts it’s just one of the daily routines of my job...

... because I sure as hell don’t want to be the guy who put a “do not dryclean “ item in the wrong bin.

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my wife struts around in this newly purchased denim skirt

She asks me “does this skirt make my ass look big?”

“No, I think it’s all that shit you eat that makes your ass look big”


True story BYW - yes I am now divorced..

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