This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my wife struts around in this newly purchased denim skirt

She asks me “does this skirt make my ass look big?”

“No, I think it’s all that shit you eat that makes your ass look big”


True story BYW - yes I am now divorced..

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant

A bakery owner hired a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brillia...

A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were pretty and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive. The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years later,...

Why don't women wear skirts in the winter?

Chapped lips

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As I knelt down in the shoe shop with a pair of shoes in front of this sexy blonde, I couldn't resist a quick glance up her short skirt...

"Hey pervy!" she said. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts, isn't it?!"

"That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said. "I don't even work here!"

Looking up skirts it’s just one of the daily routines of my job...

... because I sure as hell don’t want to be the guy who put a “do not dryclean “ item in the wrong bin.

Asked a Scottish man today why they wear those skirts

He replied 'the last guy that called it skirt, got kilt'

Roses are red Nuts are brown Skirts go up....

Roses are red,
Nuts are brown,
Skirts go up,
Pants go down,
Body to body Skin to skin,
When its stiff,
Stick it in,
The Longer its in,
The Stronger it gets,
It goes in dry And comes out wet,
It comes out dripping And starts to sag,
Its not what you think......
Its...

Statistics and mini skirts..

...they hide more than what they reveal.

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Skirts are like breasts.

They're better when they're above the knee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was at the grocery store with my gpa when a couple girls in super short skirts walked by....

Gpa said, looks at those jet skirts, as we both admired the two ladies. I had to know, what's a jet skirt? Gpa replied, it's a skirt so short that when they bend over you can see the cockpit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of airplane skirts?

They're so short, you can see the cockpit.

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year...

...and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight m...

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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