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Khaki Jokes

Four priests decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and went golfing in polo shirts and khakis.

However, their game was not going well, and after a series of terrible shots, the caddy asked, "Are you guys priests?"

"Yes, we are," replied one of the priests, "Why?"

'Because,' said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language."

What colour can unlock a car?

Khaki

Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.

She watches amazed as he takes off his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens.

"That's so clever!" the woman exclaims. "How did you do that?"

"Easy," replied the soldier, "These are my khakis."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink

The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead.

The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some k...

Why do Bostonians love khakis?

Because how else would they start their car?

Why do bartenders from Boston confiscate an intoxicated person's Khaki's at the end of the night?

So they can't drive home.

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

Khakis

In most places, losing your khakis means you have no pants. In Boston, if you lose your khakis, you can't drive.

A lady accidentally locks herself out of her car

Luckily, a passing soldier notices her and assures her that he can help. First, he takes off his pants. He then rolls it up into a ball and rubs it against the car handle.

Almost immediately, the car door unlocks.

"That was amazing! How did you do that?" The woman asks.

"Well, i...

What do you call the Skunk who wears khaki's and goes to private school?

Preppy le Pew

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met my wife at the zoo...

The moment I saw her there, dressed head to toe in khaki and covered in animal shit, I knew she was a keeper.

A woman was in some distress one day when she locked herself out of her car.

An army man was walking by in the car park so she waved him over and said "excuse me can you help me, I've locked myself out". "Sure" he says. So he takes off his pants and rubs them against the door and as if by magic the door unlocked. "Wow" said the woman, "how did you do that?"

He replies...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two young Mormon missionaries are spreading the good word around South-East Asia when they accidentally walk in to a brothel

This becomes increasingly clearer to the two young men as the attractive, scantily clad women begin to make poorly veiled sexual entreaties in broken English. The two have practically no knowledge of, or experience with, women, and begin sweating profusely when the truth dawns. The first missionary ...

A woman locked her car key in her car, so she asked a passerby for help. The passerby took off his pants, rolled it into a ball and rubbed it on the car door. The car door springs open. Amazed, the woman asked the passerby how did he do it, to which he replied:

"It's simple, these are khaki pants"

Wife: *Leaves the room*

Husband: Okay, Jake. She's gone. Now take the khakis off.

A young man goes to a formal ball in Boston.

He parks his car, goes up to the venue, and he has a great time. He meets a young woman there, and the two of them hit it off.

“I came here on the bus,” she says, “Would you mind giving me a ride home?”

So obviously he says yes, and the two of them leave the venue together. When the...

2 guys are going on a safari trip to do some wildlife photography. They met up in the morning and surveyed each other's outfits...

They were both wearing the same sorts of khaki shorts and shirts, wide brimmed hats, but whilst one had the traditional hiking boots on his feet, the other had on a pair of track running shoes.

"Why are you wearing running shoes on a wildlife safari?"

"Y'know, in case a lion attacks u...

Bob always wears the same pants

He wears them to work, he wears them at home, and he wears them outside.

I, being someone who likes to mix things up, try to discourage him from this.

The same beige pants every day. Really starts to put a strain on your eyes.

So I asked him why he wears them, and he responds th...

Boston people are so rude.

I see this guy searching under his Prius, and I ask him how I can help.

He tells me hes looking for his shorts, and then flips out when I point out he is wearing them.

Its not my fault the idiot told me he lost his khakis.

I hate it when a whole heap of people wearing cargo pants unexpectedly gather around me and get all excited.

It's like "Boo! Khaki party!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of pants did the Japanese porn star wear to her job interview?

Bu-khakis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was invited to a costume party and didn't have money for a costume.

I showed up at the door barefoot, shirtless, and wearing nothing but a pair of khaki slacks and no underwear.

When the host asked what I was supposed to be, I replied: "I'm a premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."

[Original] Boston roommate.

My roommate's from Boston. This morning, he's still in the house after I got up.

"Aren't you late for work?", I asked.

"Yeah, I'm looking for my khakis"

"Look for them when you get back"

"Well, how the hell am I supposed to get in my car?"

A boy is walking down the street when a man runs from the opposite direction holding a nice shirt.

"Why are you running?" asked the boy.

"I just got this really nice shirt," the man answered.

"Where from?" asked the boy.

"JC Penny," the man answered before resuming his run.

Shortly after, another man came running from the same direction as the first holding a nice pair...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple was having dinner at the diner where they had their first date.

The husband said, "it's so nice to be back here after all these years."

"Yes," agreed the wife, "do you remember our first date here 50 years ago?"

"How could I forget?" Answered the husband, "you took me behind that building there across the street and let me put you up against the fe...

An elite club in New York City hosts its annual banquet...

It is known for upholding a number of very picky rules, notably a strict dress code.

Justin Timberlake walks to the door wearing a sports coat and khakis. The bouncer says, "You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."

Leonardo Dicaprio walks to the door wearing a collared shirt, for...

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