I was in a fancy lingerie shop and asked the women behind the counter "Are these panties satin?"

She said "No they are all new"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dysfunctional Parrot

Jim goes to the pet store, looking to buy a parrot. They’re all pretty expensive except one, which is $20. He asks, “Hm what’s wrong with you?” To his surprise the parrot responds, “Well, I’m a dysfunctional parrot. I have no legs and I can’t fly. But I AM a great companion! I’m fluent in three lang...

It was late at night and the salesman had been driving for a while

The rain was as heavy as his eyelids and, as he nodded off and lost control. The car swerved left, then right before crashing upside down into a ditch.

The guy came round, the water in the ditch lapping round his head, he pulled himself loose, feeling the blood running down his head. He stagg...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear? They opened a pizza place in the Vatican!

It’s called Cheesus Crust.

They only use Swiss cheese Because it’s so holy.

Their most famous topping is pope-peroni.

They’re really famous for their dough.
It takes three days to rise.

They only serve seeded olives.
Because they’re afraid of the pit.

Their...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rolls Royce and a Mini

A Rolls Royce and a Mini pull up at the lights together. The guy in the Mini looks at the guy in the Rolls Royce and presses a button to lower his window. The guy in the Rolls Royce smiles and presses the button for his window to go down and with beautiful precision the window smoothly rolls down. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man knocks on the door

Little Johnny opens it with a satin gown on a brandy in one hand and a cigar in the other.

The man asks “are your parents home?”

To which Johnny replies “does it fucking look like it?”

Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.

Not today, satin.

Not today.

This one I heard when I was in 8th grade. it's pretty darn funny.

Three men die in a car accident and go to heaven.
They walk up to Satin Peter. Peter looks at them and says "Now,Let me explain how things around here in heaven work;
You all will have a car based on how many times you cheated on your wife."
He looks to the first man "How many times did y...

What are the devil's pajamas made from?

Satin

Three mice go to heaven...

Three mice go to Heaven and meet St. Peter at the gate. St. Peter says, "Since you are God's precious creatures, I am authorized to give each of you a wish." One mouse speaks up for the group and says, "All our lives we lived in this building with hardwood floors and were chased all day by this me...

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