UPJOKE
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Sweaters Jokes

My girlfriend is always stealing my shirts and sweaters...

But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk"

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, ...

My Girlfriend got both our dogs sweaters...

Shes’s always loved doggy-style

Why don’t Painters wear sweaters?

..............................cuz they already put on two coats!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three pregnant women knitting sweaters for their unborn kids.

Three pregnant women are knitting sweaters for their unborn kids. The first woman says “I hope my baby is a boy, I’m using blue wool”. The second woman says “I’m hoping for a girl, my sweater is pink”. The third woman says quietly “Weeeelllll, I hope my kid is deformed..I’ve fucked up the arms!”.

How do computers make sweaters?

On the interknit.

Three expectant mothers are sitting around a table knitting sweaters for their babies to be.

The first mother says "I'm taking folic acid, I want my baby to have a strong immune system". The other mothers nod.


The second mother says "I'm taking calcium supplements, I want my baby to have strong bones". The other mothers nod.


The third mother says "Oh, well I'm taking T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Jews and sweaters have in common?

They´re easier to find in 36 than 42

What did the magician say when his girlfriend was taking too long shopping for sweaters?

"Pick a cardigan. ANY CARDIGAN."

What is the difference between a sweater and a jumper?

Sweaters are hoping someone will talk them down from the ledge.

A son is visiting his mother the week after Hanukkah wearing one of the two sweaters she’d given him as a gift for the holiday.

As he walks into her house, instead of saying hello, the mother says, “What’s wrong? You didn’t like the other sweater I got you?”

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