My grandpa just walked into my room with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

I said, “Who is this guy?”

Grandpa: This is my hip replacement.

Puma's new Jeans line has failed...

They were called Puma Pants.

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I once talked to a chick in the club. I said "you have a nice jeans, i would want to be inside of your jeans." She said "no need for that." I asked "why?"

She: "because there is already an asshole inside."

I like my women like i like my jeans...

Skinny, tight, and ripped...

What kind of jeans do the Mario Bros wear?

Denim, denim, denim. Denim, denim, denim.

What's the difference between the beginning of the small intestine and a pair of jeans?

One is a duodenum, and the other is a denim duo.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.

As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied th...

Men's jeans haven't really been working out for me, so I decided to try on women's jeans.

Then I realized it was the closest I'll ever get into a girl's pants.

My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.

"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."

To the guy who stole my really tight skinny jeans...

You won't be able to run, just hide.

What do you call a smart person in jeans?

A jeanius.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a costume party wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans.

The host looks at him and says "what are you supposed to be? "

"I'm a premature ejaculation" says the guest.

"Well how come you're not wearing a shirt, or a pair of shoes, or anything else? "

To which the guest replied, " I just came in my pants!"

Did you know diarrhea is genetic??

It runs in your jeans...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I wear dad jeans, have a dad bod, and tell dad jokes...

Funny, since I've never even had sex.

I got a pair of jeans for a buck

Idk what it wanted jeans for, but I'm a charitable friend to animals.

I hate having to shop for jeans as a guy. They're all made like cheap castles.

There's no ballroom!




Sorry if this is a repost, I've never seen it posted to r/jokes before. I only just heard it yesterday from a coworker who claims her grandfather made it up. I thought you lot might like it!

I got this new pair of jeans and they're really stretchy so I call them my dancing pants...

because of the ballroom.

Wife: Do these jeans make me look fat?

Husband: Come on honey, let's not blame it on the *jeans*.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You go to a Halloween party wearing nothing but blue jeans. When someone asks you who you are, you reply, "I'm a premature ejaculator."

You see, I just came in my pants.

"Credit goes to some dudes post on something earlier, couldn't find it to give him credit. Thought it was too funny not to share."

I couldn't quit ripping my jeans cold turkey...

...so I'm on the patch now.

A friend tried to get me to wear jeans, a white t shirt, and a motorcycle jacket - but I said no.

It sounded like a Fonzie scheme.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why were high-waisted jeans first invented?

So you can deal with those long ass days.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Boss: You can't wear jeans with holes in them to work.

Dave: it's a fashion trend.

Boss: Dave we can see your asshole.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a group of jeans running a marathon?

ParticiPANTS!

I accidentally left my wallet in my jeans when I put them in the wash...

I got busted for Money Laundering

How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel?

No ballroom

What material are the Pink Panther's jeans made out of?

Denim Deniiiiiiiimmmmmm

Vladimir Putin to begin marketing Kremlin brand jeans

Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts instead of jeans?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

Mom: Wear your jeans! There are too many mosquitoes outside.

Feminist daughter: Don't teach me what not to wear. Teach the mosquitoes how not to bite.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife walked into the kitchen last night, stuck her hand down the front of my jeans and said…

"Feeling horny?"

I said, "Yes, let me just go and slip into something a little more sexier."

"Like your silky boxers?" She asked.

"No," I replied. "Your sister."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

For someone with a penis, wearing skinny jeans is a lot like living in a cheap mansion...

There's no ballroom.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

In that case the wife needs to apologize...

A woman gets home and finds the husband, in bed, with another woman, 25 years old, pretty, nice curves... She was mad, and she did everything to show it, but the husband interrupts her:

 

-You should first listen to how this all happened... I found this young lady in the stree...

Do these jeans make me look fat?

wife : Do these jeans make me look fat?
Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth?
Wife : No, i won't! Tell me.
Me : I slept with your sister

I like my Friday nights like I like my jeans

high-wasted.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The wife came early and found her husband making love with a young attractive woman.

"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife and mother of your children! I am leaving you"

The husband replied "Hang on a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened"

"Go ahead", she sobbed. " but probably they will be the last word...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I saw a guy with down syndrome buying a pair of jeans today.

I thought to myself, "What a greedy bastard, haven't you got enough already?"

I know skinny jeans are fashionable...

But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

What Makes A Man Attractive On A Scientific Level?

It's in his jeans.

William Shatner is going to sponsor a new line of women's jeans made to hide adult diapers underneath.

They're going to be called Shatner Pants.

As a scarecrow, people say I'm out standing in my field...

But hay, it's in my jeans.

Just had a big fight with my wife.

That woman fights for no reason at all. We were both excited and just about to make love. She removed her jeans and then her top. Then the fight started when I asked, "why are you wearing you sister's bra?"

What do Brooklyn and tight jeans have in common?

Flatbush.

This year for Christmas you are getting jeans with the pockets cut out.

So you can have clothes and something to play with.

A man wakes up after a night of drinking to see a single red rose on his bedside table.

Beside the rose is a glass of water, two Advil, and a note from his wife. The note says, "Hi honey, the pills are for your headache. When you're ready, come down to the kitchen and I'll fix your favorite breakfast. Love you!"

He also notices that he is still in the clothes he was wearing la...

Found out the paper in my favorite jeans is made from hemp.

Hashtag Hashtag

How would you know who is a billionaire in a black tie event?

Look for the dude wearing a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers

Why did I wear no jeans today?

my supply was short.