Jeans Jokes

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City." St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and ent... read more

No ball room

It is for your salary.

I find it very difficult to pull it off.

Her: "Whatcha looking at?"

Me: Sorry your legs look great in those
jeans.

Her: You should see me without them.

ME: Why would you take off your legs?

I said "promise not to be mad whatever I say?"

She replied "yes of course!"

I said "I banged your sister".

I said, “Who is this guy?”

Grandpa: This is my hip replacement.

but I could never pull them off

Guess knot

There’s no ballroom.

It's called Jor-Dash

I happened to spot several pairs of men’s Levi’s at a local garage sale.

They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.

So I asked the owner if he had a pair.

He shook his head. “I’m still wearing the 33s,” he said. “Come back next year.”

I couldn't pull 'em off

*Denim Denim Denim*

He did a bad job of it so I ended having to go to the retailer

But hay, it’s in my jeans

High and Wasted.

^I ^don't ^have ^great ^taste ^in ^jeans.

What does he do?

Pants.

They were called Puma Pants.

"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."

Then I realized it was the closest I'll ever get into a girl's pants.

I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.

“Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked.

“Yes,” I said. “They hurt my feelings.”

but the guy wearing them didn’t seem as excited.

They ask the bartender for a drink and he replies
“No shoes no service”

Beside the rose is a glass of water, two Advil, and a note from his wife. The note says, "Hi honey, the pills are for your headache. When you're ready, come down to the kitchen and I'll fix your favorite breakfast. Love you!"

He also notices that he is still in the clothes he was wearing la... read more

I could never find jeans that fit, every pair long enough would be too wide up top. So I switched to sweatpants, smaller waste of material.

Chernobyl fallout.

But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off

...I'm afraid some anarchist will try to pull them down!

Because the radiation altered his jeans

So you can read their lips.

You won't be able to run, just hide.

Denim Deniiiiiiiimmmmmm

She kept it short.

It's for my salary.

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services
were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean,
he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged. In
his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible.... read more

I called for there server: "Waitress, there's soup in my fly"

It pants.

Each pair comes with a complimentary Donald Trump in the back pocket.

Idk what it wanted jeans for, but I'm a charitable friend to animals.

They're going to be called Shatner Pants.

An ambulance

Her label said “Guess?”

I said, “ Oh I don’t know, 450 pounds?”

There's no ballroom!




Sorry if this is a repost, I've never seen it posted to r/jokes before. I only just heard it yesterday from a coworker who claims her grandfather made it up. I thought you lot might like it!

my supply was short.

It runs in your jeans