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Straight Off Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 mice debating who is the toughest.

First mouse says "I'm the toughest. I eat the cheese straight off the mouse trap".

Second mouse says "I'm the toughest I bench press the mouse trap, let it slam down and catch the cheese between my teeth"

3rd mouse takes a long drag of his cig, blows the smoke out, taps the cig like ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a pirate walks into a bar and sits down next to a man.

The man says, “How did you get your peg leg?”

The pirate says, “A cannon blew me leg straight off.”

The man asks, “How did you get your hook?”

The pirate says, “I lost it in a sword fight.”

The man asks,” How did you get your eye patch?”

The pirate says,” I was loo...

Bills to pay

Frank and Gary are getting off work on Friday evening, and Gary says, "Hey Frank, I'm going drinking with a buddy. You should join us!'

Frank hesitates a moment, and says, "don't think I should. I've got bills to pay."

Next Friday rolls around and Gary says to Frank, "Hey Frank, you sh...

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