Anybody know someone that wants to buy letter openers, staplers, pens, and other office supplies?

Most of it is labeled with Capital Hill or U.S. Senate but it's all usable. Let me know! Thanks.

Guy is rolling down the sidewalk in a desk chair

He has a laptop under one arm, a phone under the other. A portable printer on his lap. He has a small wastepaper basket on his head. A swingline stapler in his shirt pocket

Cop spots him and says "what do you think you are doing?"

"Impersonating an office, sir."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone said I screwed up my stapler joke

But I think I fucking nailed it.

A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher.

Just before the school year started, he injured his
back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper
part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and
wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to
the toughest students i...

Series of Cheesy Jungle Jokes

I always like to tell these in a series. I also like to milk jokes (drag them out a little longer than you would expect) so prepare for the cheese. There's a little flexibility in how you tell these jokes, and if you have any other jokes about jungle animals you can mix them in, but some of the orde...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?

She answered the stapler.


How did she pierce her other ear?


Those bastards called back.


(feel free to imagine a dulled "Huwwuh? *ka-thunk* UUUNNGHH!" right after the first punchline)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't ask...

So one fine day, a young boy is listening to the radio. He has very bad reception so the radio is sort of static, nevertheless, he catches something about a purple donut. His curiosity sparked, he meanders over to his mother and said, "Momma, what's a purple donut?" She then gets this wild look in h...

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