Goldilocks was killed for eating someone else's porridge.

The murderers did it with their bear hands.

I keep blurting out puns about porridge

when I really oat to know better.

What do you get when you mix curry and porridge?

Courage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde entered into a high-stakes TV culinary contest of the ages...

After the three women finished their cooking procedures, they individually lined up behind the curtain of the main stage and each rolled out a cart with their respective dish. To elaborate, three judges would be grading these women on their cooking capabilities.

When the time came for the pre...

I always wondered how in Goldilocks, the same serving of porridge could be too hot, too cold and just right at the same time.

Then I remembered Hot Pockets

A man decided to become a monk

The head Monk says to the man "This is a silent order. You will only be allowed to speak once every 15 years."

The man says "Ok" and begins his time with the silent order.

15 years pass and the man is sitting in the refectory when the head monk approaches and says to the man "It has be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mama Bear Papa Bear and Baby Bear...

Are sitting at the table for breakfast. The Papa Bear says "my porridge is too hot!" And the Mama Bear says "my porridge is too cold!". The baby bear says "bitch bitch bitch, can't you guys ever be happy about anything?"

... As told by an 84 year old Italian man who was a patient of mine at...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

George was having breakfast when Mildred walked in, dropped her robe, and sat naked at the table.

She leaned forward on her elbows towards George, her chin resting playfully on the back of her right hand as her left hand played with his tie.

"You know," purred Mildred, "I still have urges. I still want you, physically. In fact, even after 60 years of marriage, my tits are getting all hot ...

An old man was staying in a hotel and went for breakfast at the restaurant.

The waiter asked him what he’d like for breakfast and the old man replies:

“I want porridge but it must be lumpy and under cooked, then I want some bacon , eggs and toast but the bacon must be burnt to a crisp, the eggs must be runny and snotty and the toast I want 1 slice very soggy and the ...

The Real Three Bears

It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up.

Baby Bear goes down stairs and sits in his small chair at the table and looks into his small bowl. It’s empty. "Who’s been eating my porridge?!" he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in hi...

An old man sets up three beds in his room...

and lays out three chairs. One day, a friend comes over and the old man serves three bowls of porridge.

The friend asks "Why do you have all this random stuff in your room?"

and the old man replies "Well, it worked for the 3 bears!"

An elderly couple are watching TV

The woman asks the man, "Can you please get me some ice-cream?"

"Sure", he replies.

"Do you want to write it down? Just because you'll forget", she says.

"I can remember a bowl of ice-cream", the man replies.

"I also want some fruit on it. But write it down"

"That...

What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath?

Porridge.

Old lady says to his hubby...

"My nipples are as hot today as they was 50 years ago" Hubby replies,"Oughtta be. One's in your coffee the other's in your porridge."

The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare.

Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie.

What do you call 10 lepers in a swimming pool?

Porridge

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